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I am so glad I found this site, I hope it will help!

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I am so glad I found this site, I hope it will help!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

While you take that walk, look around at the scenery, its beauty, the clouds if there are any, feel the weather on your skin, it's real air, fresh air. Think good thoughts, continually repeat a mantra and when your mind goes back to it, when you realize it, just return back to the mantra.

And since you don't know where to start - go to lesson 1 and follow it, I have the sheets at my office and at home (you'll understand when you read about the lesson). Everyone does it at their own pace, I do one a week, and practice the lesson thru the week.

Read the posts, not just the current ones, go back and see what strikes your fancy. And keep posting.

Let us know of your success with your walk. I have faith that you will enjoy yourself and jump for joy when you return home. And if it goes a differnt way, that's okay, too. Opeing the door and looking around is just as special.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 54

Thank you all so much for the warm welcome you have extended to me! I am glad to have the chance to get to hear any advice and encouragement to help me recover my life back! I have tried going it alone, although I do see a Dr for meds....my family is burned out on this situation and I can't say I don't blame them. They are supportive to a point, but they are understandably worn out from my life long struggle with this.

I know I stayed 2 yrs to long at the job I was at.......but I felt that I was moving up and wouldn't have to deal with what I was going through for long. I also ignored.....or thought I was ignoring the comments......etc....because I knew they weren't true and I was better than that. When you have this disorder... you find you go the extra mile when you are being successful at something are able to accomplish staying at one place......and feel that comfortable...u feel indestructible. If my Dr. hadn't put me on medical leave, I can assure you I would still be working there, putting up with the BS........

I am working on getting the courage up to walk to the end of my street tomorrow and back.....its a little ways down my street......more that a block.....wish me luck!! This is where I am going to start since I have no clue where else to start to get myself back.........

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Welcome Cowgirlinlace.

As every one has said, you will get better. PTSD. is just that a disorder, not a disease. And like all the mental disorders it has the potential to cause chemical imbalances making it look like some incurable disease, but it is not.

The thing that amazes me is that you put up with the abuse as long as you did. That tells me you have an inner strength. A strength that you can use to bury that negative part of your life. Stay with us and post often and on anything, we will celebrate your successes with you and be here for you when you get setbacks. You are not alone, and do not have to do this thing alone.

Here for you,

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Welcome CowgirlIndlace,

You have come to the right place. I know it can be frustrating to have a set back but with anxiety set backs happen. It is a process which takes maintenance. Your will get your life back and Sunny is right you will exceed your expectations. Take it one day at a time and lean on us for support.

I also have to say it is so great that you gave such a gift to your daughter! She is fortunate to have a mom like you!

Keep posting! I am looking forward to reading more from you!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Cowgirlndlace,

Welcome to the program and support group...I was in pretty bad shape when I started here with anxiety/ptsd and I have improved a great deal working this program...I know this is hard work and it is hard to start over but I am sure you can do it and that you will get better...You have taken the first step already by signing up for the cbt program and posting in the support group here. This is a great group and they will support you along the way....

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Welcome Cowgirl,

Not only will you recover, you will exceed all you've done.

Stick with us, go to therapy even if doing a phone session.

Do the program with this site, it's amazing how much it has helped me in such a short time. That, the right psychiatrist, and the right meds.

I have mental illness in my family. Before they called it agoraphobia, in the old days they called my great aunt a hermit, she never went out after her life changed dramatically and depression plus other set in. My grandmother on the other side was 'nuts' as they would say in the old days and institutionalized ( that place is now closed because of the brutal ways they did things then). My mother had depression, panic disorder.

SO, I'm not surprised I have all that, plus OCD, and PTSD, and others, etc.

I didn't shower, didn't care for myself at all - I'm surprised I was able to meet my husband - I say my father (earthly) in heaven and my husband's girlfriend before me arranged it and God did the rest.

Anyway, my point is, been where you are, as many who respond later will say the same.

And they will also tell you, and I will even promise you, if you do all you need to do for yourself, you'll see amazing gifts pour out from you. I can drive now. I even got in the car at 4:30 AM by myself to do extra work at my office in the dark - I never drove in the dark. Dark came, and major anxiety took place (PTSD)and into my home I would go. My hands literally shook on the steering wheel.

We're here to support you - everyone is very nice - amazing, because they all understand. I had to leave nursing because they didn't understand me. Imagine, in the field, and they didn't recognize I was having trouble and needed help.

Anyway, I hope you continue to check in on us and post more. You'll find great comfort.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 54

I have had anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I remember having symptoms of them as young as 5 yrs old, and still am continuing to deal with them to this very day. I wasn't diagnosed with them until my early 30's and have been up and down this roller coaster since then. I later found out that my mom had panic disorder along with a few other of my family on my moms side of the family, not to the same degree that I did, but she never told me. My daughter was 13 when she started having panic attacks and I addressed it immeadiatly by taking her to a Dr and she works and does things I can only dream of doing, medication free. She has her moments, but she learned to cope because I made sure she didnt have to suffer the way I did. I was eventually told by Dr.'s that it is a chemical imbalance and is genetic. I don't think many people understand how dibilitating this can be unless they have had one panic attack in their lifetime.

I am unable to drive at this time, or work. I am just getting out of the house again. I was doing so great, had a good job, and moving up the ladder to bigger and better things. I had a boss that sexually harrased me, and made comments about my panic disorder to other employees and told me that I wouldn't move up because of my panic attacks. I was put on medical leave by my Dr as I started feeling like I was finding it difficult to go to work after 2 yrs of this abuse. During my medical leave, I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. My boss had brow beaten me so much, that I had nightmares about him yelling in my face, <which he did while I had worked there> After my diagnosis or PTSD, things went downhill from there. I lost my ability to drive alone....I had worked so hard to get where I was....and it was gone. I also lost my confidence in my appearance, my abilitiy to be home alone...get another job....go for a walk alone..go out with family memebers etc. Leaving home, was awful, as I felt safe only at home and not far away from my comfort zone. I know all of what I have described above is normal as this is not my first rodeo of recovering.

I just feel so hopeless, as I worked so hard to get where I was..and I am not sure if I can recover this time. The starting over is so tiring and overwhelming. I just want the life I had back......the one I worked and fought so hard to achieve........I am hoping that this group will help me recover and give me some hope, advice, and encouragment to get my life back. Thanks to you all for any thoughts or question.....

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I am so glad I found this site, I hope it will help!