Word usage can be tricky. There is not always right and wrong- perception and opinion are huge parts of what we believe to be true. I agree that telling someone they are wrong is labelling and not a good idea. It is always better to acknowledge the behavior.
In this case, I think his information was wrong (or incorrect, or inaccurate), and therefore his opinion that Upsidedown was 'wrong' was based on faulty data. You did great, Upsidedown! It is very challenging to stop and think when your emotional button has been pushed. That is a great step! Thank you for posting this success so we can also congratulate you and learn from your experience!
I do the bookkeeping for our company. It had to do with facts, that my husband had misinterpreted, there was no room for discussion. There was no arrogance, name calling, anything like that we don't do that.
In our 4 yrs of marriage we have never had a fight simply because we sit down and discuss how to handle our disagreements. Business is a little different - we may have 3 arguements a year, but there also we discuss the situation and figure out a way to suit both of us. Sometimes, though, it is purely facts and figures. We don't try and say to each other right or wrong. This was a first out of him, and it flabergasted me since he isn't usually like that.
I'm glad you were able to express yourself upsidedown! Voicing how you feel is always important.
I did want to highlight one thing. Try not to label one person as wrong or right in an argument. "Winning" an argument can be a counter productive goal. Looking at a disagreement to try to understand the other person's point of view and coming to a decision that both are happy with may be more helpful. What are your thoughts on this?
Hi upsidedown: Way to go! I usually let the person get everything off their chest first, then I respond. Yes, it took practice, haha. If I really focus on what they are saying, rather than that knee-jerk reaction (ego), I can look at it as an interesting challenge.
My husband and I wre having a discussion this morning and during it he said - I wish you'd listen, I know I'm right.
Here's the amazing part - I didn't fly off the handle, didn't storm away, didn't raise my voice, didn't cry (although I could feel the crying starting to well up inside). I of course, said, what!!! what a line to say to me. That hurts deeply and I find it insulting. He apologized. And even found out he was wrong!
WOW! This is a first for me. If anyone, before this change in me, made me feel degraded, it set off the alarm inside that affected my self esteem and self worth, and I would pounce back. It was a knee jerk reaction.
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