I wanted to add how different my attitude was from when I first had anxiety disorder compared to this successful situation. I always wished I never had anxiety so that I could get the 'simple' tasks done. I remembered how well I've always accomplished things "if only I didn't have anxiety". And I've avoided riding on the freeway for about a year because I was always afraid I may have an anxiety attack in the car and I was sure I'd get it. But after a long period of time, being inspired by other's accomplishments and getting more knowledge, this eventually pushed me. On the ride this time, I looked around the view sometimes, or sometimes I closed my eyes. But when I looked around, I saw a girl biting her nails as she drove. Watching this, it made me realize how you can still safely drive even if you bite your nails... and my driver always drove this route everyday.. and I kept reassuring myself with these thoughts. I kept reminding myself that even after so many gazillion attacks, eventually there came a day when I can laugh or be at peace (even if it was after many months). So after much avoidance, I believe that exposure therapy is good now. Because the confidence eventually adds up. I do wish I kept forcing myself at doing things even if I felt terrible, like driving, because after avoiding, it's so hard to start again, but even if I did avoid, I am more hopeful now that I still have a chance to start again one day. I feel like I was able to accept that even if I have an attack, I still can get things done. I think that is what changed the most.
