Hello there,
I've dealt with panic anxiety on and off all of my life. In high school I was having difficulty going to school so my doctor put me on Paxil, which I took for eight years. Last April I felt like I was in a good place in my life and hadn't had any serious anxiety issues for some time, so I wanted to try being drug free. Little did I know what I was getting into.
I quit Paxil cold turkey (I realize now that is not recommended but I did check with my doctor and he okayed it) and I went through a horrible six week withdrawal with insomnia, shaking, nausea, and rebound panic. Since then it has been a constant struggle to return to normal life. I have looked into and tried many alternative ways of dealing with anxiety - changing my diet and exercise patterns, acupuncture, counseling, herbal remedies, etc. I have also occasionally used Xanax to subvert major panic attacks. I've had good stretches but had a couple of panic attacks in mid-December that has started a major flare up. All of a sudden it's not just the old feared situations that cause panic attacks, but I'm afraid to even leave the house by myself because of all the attacks I've had in the last couple of weeks. Now I experience a daily near-constant anxiety and am at a very low point.
My ultimate goal was to remain drug free and manage my anxiety without it, and especially after my Paxil withdrawal I am very skeptical of drugs. However, after having to use Xanax fairly often in the last few weeks (and I know how addictive it can be), my doctor has convinced me to try a low dose of Prozac to help me return to feeling functional and being able to work on my anxiety through exposure therapy without constantly being so symptomatic.
I'm frustrated about being on another SSRI because the side effects of Paxil were significant - though I didn't realize how much of an effect it was having on me, since getting off of it my libido has increased, I've lost 25 pounds, and my sleep patterns have returned to normal. I want to manage this anxiety - right now it is so unbearable that I'm not functioning and am willing to do everything - but I don't want to return to those or other side effects either.
I've done a lot of anxiety research over the years so know a lot of the logic about how panic attacks won't physically harm you, how fight or flight works, and how exposure therapy can be beneficial. But, it's hard to get logic to overcome emotions. I'm very frustrated by this recent major setback, because I am a very active, motivated person and feeling limited by my anxiety makes me very hard on myself.
I'm hoping the Panic Program will help guide my recovery work, and I'm hopeful that I can find help and support in these forums. I'm especially interested to hear from people who have tips on managing anxiety without drugs after having been on them for some time, and I need support as I try to justify myself going back on an SSRI for at least the short-term.
This got kind of lengthy, but I guess I had a lot on my mind. It helps to put it into words.