I started out trying to plan a camping trip for the holidays with my partner but we just seemed to argue about the details, so I decided to forget about the camping trip and try to do something else maybe go to octoberfest on the weekend. I was very excited about going and suggested that he go show his engines in a tractor & engine
show and that maybe we just needed some alone time away from each other being he really didn't seem excited about octoberfest, or camping or what ever. I was really feeling upbeat about it this morning. I love the fall weather. Any way I thought maybe I'd go with him to the engine show instead if he wanted me to. After all this hassle I seem to have lost me enthusiasm to do any of it. I started to feel my self slipping into a depression. So I guess it is me and my fears stopping me from enjoying my life alone or with someone. The anxiey is getting me now and I am afraid to go alone. I really struggle to leave the house at all these days. I am Sorry for rambleing on while I try to figure this out. I real feel life has got to be better than this.
Thanks for listening
Sid