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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Hi djrykosuave,

How are you doing today? Have you resolved anything with your lease. We are here for you when you need us.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

hi Drikosuave,

I have been in a similar situation. The best thing for you to do is try to spend time with your friends. If you do not have close friends near you the best thing to do is figure out your lease and go home to be close to your friends and family. You can always start your life over. You shouldn't think that you lost anything when one door closes another opens. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. I know it is a bit cliche to say but it is very true. You will be able to understand that once you get through this tough part.

I lived a year in an apartment alone with all the furniture my ex chose. I bought the apartment and everything for her. When she left me I had to spend my nights staring at all the beautiful things she bought, all of the things we got together to have a life together. I am not from the country I am living now and I had no family to support me. I starting hang out with my friends again, and that helped a lot. I made some bad choices and turned to alcohol to ease the pain. That actually made it a lot worse I recommend to stay away from alcohol.

Now that it is over I have other plans and I am happy again. Time will show you what to do.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

drikosuave,

I think someone breaking up with me is a jab at my self-worth. It is easy to personalize the things they perceive we did and or didn't do. I think it is important to recognize that this is one person's opinion and someone for whatever reason decided that together you weren't compatible. I don't think it's a logical conclusion to let it effect our self-esteem, but I think it's a built-in thing for it to do so.

I think it is so important that you continue to talk positive with self and take compliments from others by saying "thank you". I also think you'll find that you need to challenge the very things that make you not want to believe the positive things about your self. I think it's labeled challenging negative core beliefs.

You may have had some issues prior to the issue with the girlfriend, but were not as aware because you didn't have this issue going on. I think when we find ourselves in "breaking up" type scenario's it's easier to let all those negative thoughts come pouring through.

I guess you can see I've got and OPINION. lol, I guess that is why I come here. I recently started dating after 4 years and am afraid that if/when this person or I choose not to continue to see each other that I will "fall apart". One of the moderators told me "don't lose your autonomy". That advice means alot to me. I remember that frequently.

Good luck to you and remember you are smart and intelligent and many other positive things about you that we will perceive if you continue to post.

I look forward to seeing more posts from you and listening to your opinion when I post about my issues.

Welcome

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi djrikosuave,

I would just like to thank you for sharing your story and experience with us. Many people within this support group may share the same questions and concerns as you.  We are all a group of individuals who support each other.

If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find many supportive tests.  These tests are not diagnostic tools and are not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor.

We also have developed a Depression Program.  This program is 12-weeks and involves the tools mentioned above.  Each session is based on the previous session, so we strongly advise that you work slowly through the program and not jump ahead.

If you have any question or concerns with our “TOOLS”, you can contact us at support@paniccenter.net.  We are the Support Specialist for The Panic Center and are open to any questions or concerns you may have.

Please continue to strive forward and lean on us for support.

Members, share you similar experiences and stories with us because they might be helpful.

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

I have trouble finding self worth in myself. People continually tell me I'm intelligent, and capable. And I must be because I've been able to help people with medical and legal problems (two areas I studied heavily at University). But I don't derive self satisfaction from anything really.

My girlfriend of 4 years recently unceremoniously dumped me. After my schock and disbelief we had a calm discussion about it, and it was very sad. I've been really broken up about it. We just signed a one year lease the week prior so things are sticky. I had moved out to the mid-west for her (she wanted to go) and had been volunteering at a number of non-profits in hopes of being able to apply to the JET program with her. Basically, all of my current long term plans involved her or were for her primarily, and now I'm left with nothing.

I'm going to see a counselor, and I'm trying to keep things together. I'm not sure where to start figuring things out for myself, other than that I need to take a significant amount of energy and time and invest it in myself. I just don't know how to do that, and everyone's suggestions ("do something you want to do") are kind of a catch-22 given how I feel. I'm going to move back to the west coast as soon as I figure out this lease thing.

Does anyone have any similar stories or experiences that might be helpful to me in figuring out a potential trial course of action for myself?

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