As I typed that word, I had to laugh. That has negative connotations in just the spelling of the word, looks ugly and at this time has negative implications. lol
Okay, most of you know the situation with my dad and his alcoholism, his major grief over the loss of my mother in April 2006 and his recent death in 2008. I helped him alot in the past 2 1/2 years of his life, dealt more with his alcoholism and was learning to set boundaries somewhat for the first time in my life where that was concerned, was verbalizing my concerns about it for the first time in my life and felt I was having great success.
Now, my dad's mother is 98, the uncle is the sole surviving sibling and he has his addiction to alcohol and I know for sure opiods, not sure if there are other things involved. I promised my dad and I would have anyway, that I would help take care of my grandmother. She and I have been very close all through my life and I was helping before dad died, but have had to step it up a notch (okay, honestly by leaps and bounds). I help with her finances, cook for her occasionally, run errands, deal with her trash, and spend more time than before. I've modified my work schedule to do these things with her.
At the same time, I'm, along with my brother, trying to settle mom and dad's estate. I am paying the bills and he's sitting on his behind (as the executor of the estate) argh. Anyway, back to the uncle, he has historically had a key to dad's garage, however other people have to, there are many expensive tools, antiques, etc stored in dad's workshop (garage). We changed the locks. My uncle has confronted and the word has been confronted me at every opportunity about us not trusting him. (and we don't) but he is the one who brought the word trust into the picture not me nor my brother. My brother has tried to play the "bad guy" in this situation as he is aware of my involvement with my grandmother, but uncle Ronnie won't approach him like he does me. I have to work with my uncle on my grandmother's issues though I wish I didn't. Uncle's own children have nothing to do with him due to his addiction and related issues. However, I was in contact with them and they supported my getting on grandmother's accounts and being named power of attorney (another thing I'm sure my Uncle resents). My grandmother is of sound mind and made these decisions, it has not been necessary to invoke any power of attorney and she still has my uncle as executor of her estate. I don't care if I get one red penny of money, I'm concerned (along with my brother and cousins) if he was at the wheel now, she won't be able to maintain the standard of living to which she is accustomed. He has borrowed thousands and thousands of dollars from her, without my dad's knowledge and makes no effort to repay her. He is charging her for cleaning up after the ice storm.
I took care of her during the ice storm (trip to Florida), he couldn't do it, when we are able to get out the day we left for FL, we went by there and he doesn't remember it. He was upset I took grandmother to Fl without letting him know - I told him matter of factly that we did and he could ask his mother how upset she was with his appearance (I don't know if she realizes the other or not). That's her babyboy and I'd never say a negative thing about him. She's not dumb and I think she has an inkling or she would not have made me Power of Attorney.
Anyway, I see no end in sight and hopefully grandmother will live another 98 years (though I know that is unrealistic, you get my point).
