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Posts created by agua

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Panic cycle and sleep problems

I´m doing from 2 weeks, following the rule to sleep and wake up always at around same hour, and never sleep during the day. And I´m starting to have a more restfull night, I´m waking up feeling less tired. I´ll continue doing it to see if my quality sleep improves better.

This simple rule are working to me. I wonder why my mother haven´t teached me this simple rule since child and always left me sleep always that I wan´t, even on the afternoon. I´m an adult now, don´t have excuses, I know. But just now I´m understanding the importante of this rule, and such a wrong thing I was doing.

Because of this I had always a lot of problems waking up for school, and later problems at work, I arrived always late, because I couln´t sleep at night, then I was very tired during the day.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Making friends

Hi Hughs, I´, dealing also with the same issue. I´m reading about simple positive thoughts, and I´m trying to aply it for making friends and interaction with others. What I´m doing and I find it´s helping a lot: when I´m alone at home or pauses at work, I´m visualizing and fantasy what I wish to happen next time I´m be around people or in the future. I visualize and feel my hapiness while I´m interaction with others, and thinking "this is possible to happen, it´s real". This thoughts real help me feeling happy during the day. Finally when I´m with people, doens´t help what I imagined, but I find I´m dealing better and that I enjoy better being around them.

One of things it catches my attention was something I read "It doens´t happen what we want but what our imagination want´s". And that´s true, all of us that have problems with interaction, we are always afraid because we know ourselves and know normally how we react being around others, not being abble to. So we are always expecting and happening what our imagination does, bad result.

People with good interactions, they have keeped in their memory good feelings about others and good memories, so they expect the same always next time they are around with others, it´s printed like a habit in their mind. I´m trying to "print" a new habit in my mind, by repetition visualizing good feelings when I´m with others. I´m doing this for a few days, but it are already helping me. Also I had the luck to join a group of people related to sales and self development, and I´m practising with them (without they noticing), this thing I´m sharing here.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Making friends

Hi Hugs, also had lost my father, when I had 12 years. And I felt a lot of pressure from family dinamic that changed significatly.

The first night after this event, I was very sad but I sleeped on my bed and I had a restfull night, I remember I thought "strange...it seams that life continue. I´m really sad but I don´t feel any diference on my night routine, my bed is the same, my room is the same, may be this will be not so bad as it seams.". But on the day before my mother started wanted me to sleep with she at the same bed that my father and mother sleeped together. This was really bad for me, because always that I gone to bed, I remember by father, the acident and our current situation. This was too heavy for my head and too pressure. I sleeped with her till 16 I think.

Today, trying to not blaming my mother for donne it, but thinked what could had I donne it? I could take myself and told my mother I wanted to sleep on my own bed, or that she could sleep at my bedroom with me too for example. On that age we can be very anoying to our parents to manipulate them doing what we want. Why I had so passive personality at that age? That is a good explanation why I´m having anxiety problems till now.

Hugs, I´m saying that to you, for you find a way to not feel family pressure be on you. Do what is better for you, it will better for them too. Find a away to relieve the pressure that you could feel from other family members you have without stopping supporting them as you can.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Conversation with Haters (negative people) and anxiety

Recently I had a date with my goddaughter, shes´s already 27 years. I was happy to be with her. Everithing was fine until a decided to share with her that I recently joined a business group related with networking sales. I told her that I was liking a lot till now. That I was receiving god information for self development. Then I told she that one of the people of the group there is a sucessfull architect from our city, a very rich person almost a milionaire. (What have I said wrong?!!!) she replyed to me "Dah ! I know so many of them!!" Lol were? I thought!

Then bum, bum, bum she started on attack mode and started depreciating all the things I was sharing with her (not the absurd she never had heard about this company). No matter what I explained to her, she depreciate it. My thoughts were, she seams to not be happy of good experiences that are happening to me, why? jealous...?

I became with lots of anxiety, because it become a negative conversation. In conversation I could defend myself a few times in some points, but others not. I was sad with her.

Next time, I have to be prepared if I have any good news to tell, prepared to find a way to stop the conversation at begining and don´t waist my time and anxiety with these conversations.

It´s not the first time, with her or others, seams that some people don´t like to see others in good situations. But I will not stop sharing the good things it happen to me, if I desire to do it.

Next time, if I note that I´m starting bothering anyone with something good happen with me, I will try to enhance that good thing even more, and with a extra big smile, because I know that´s what bothers more these people. May be that´s a good way to stop their negative spiral about others people life´s. Better than starting defending myself, that will give me a lot of anxiety and at the end being sad with a friend or a family for days. That includes not being abble to sleep for days, because I´m become so disapointed with these negative people.

Other thing I wan´t to try is to switch the subject quickly to another issue, to stop the conversation there.

Meanwhile my anxiety are decreasing with these exposure work I´m doing, my big goal is to be abble to have a conversation/discussion and be abble to think with clarity so that I could exposure my ideias to others, not taking anithing left said to home. Because there´s a lot of silly people outhere.

8 years ago +1 +1 / -0 60

Panic cycle and sleep problems

Hi, I´m sleeping much better using this simple rule. I´m also reading a book before going to bed.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Conversation with Haters (negative people) and anxiety

Ashley, I´m tired of trying to understand others. She would not admit she was bothered with something, because she was with an atitude that she knows everithing about everithing.

Haters simple criticize and move on. If I don´t say nothing I will be ruminating alone, being assertive is a good think to decrease anxiety, and solving problems. I know I have to put limits on others to gain some respect and promote healthy relations. If I don´t say nothing, others feel they have free road to say what they wan´t and get very confortable to say what goes in their mind, without worring about others feelings. That happened a lot in the past, with lack of respect for my person. And I wasn´t abble to defend myself and saying for example "that will not be good for me, so I can not do what you want me to do".

For example my aunt invied my for a dinner. She tooked me to an alternative indian restaurant where the food was very very spice (it was not a comercial restaurant). I could not eat nothing. She was not bothered at all. Then we get out, was raining, and she used the umbrella just for her till my car, not worring if I was getting rain. I didn´t sayd nothing. I was left ruminating alone, how this person could to that to me? She donne to me a lot of things like that, like not paying me some money she asked for. If I had put limits at the beginning, a lot of situations could be avoided, and me not being hurt so many times.

This has been the story of my life all this years, with almost of people.

Being assertive is something that decrease my anxiety almost 100%. I´m getting the courage now to say what I think at the moment.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Panic cycle and sleep problems

That´s a very creative idea.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Panic attacks and weight exercice

Hello. I would like to share with you that after one year of exposing myself of weight training, my panic attacs gonne away/or are controlled. I used weight training to train my brain to litlle by little control anxious thoughts that always started when I lifted weights (because heart beat increases with exercice, my brain were not distinguishing heart panic beat from healthy heart beat from exercice). After 1 or 2 months I started only to start having panic attacs only at the gym in a controlled way (at home or other places were I had most of them it quickly stopped :)). But I didn´t gived up, I continued in a controlled and progressive way, challeging my thoughts at the gym, and now I´m a secure person doing my exercicies and progressing exercicies like a normal person. I continue having afraid but since I can control my heart beat increasing or decreasing my intensity of training, I ´m always on a secure zone training. But the good news is that my intensity of training is increasing every month, even more that other people that are on the gym that don´t have any problems like we have. So, I´m very proud of myself :) It´s really possible for us to superate ourselves.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Best Program ever

Just to leave my feed-back. I struggled with panick attacks for 20 years, and after trainning around 1 year with this program, little by little panick attacks gone away. Also I complemented this gym exercicies 5 days a week. This 2 actions complemented perfectly!

At first could seem a litle bit boring to start, but it works. You have dedicate to this like you were in school learning a new subject and make your effort.

Other note: all of psychologists and psychiatrists I wen´t in this 20 years, no one gived me a road to solve this problem, witch is sad. It was my brother who suffered from depression that talked me very good about this programs.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 60

Freeze

When people are rude or passive aggressive to me with no reason, I become freeze and cannot interact. There are times I need to defend myself but I find most of the time I have no answer, I can not connect to myself and articulate any thought. Its like a poison that sticks on my head, and I become so sad with me because of that. This is important because if we don't make our point, passive aggressive behaviours tend to escalate, and it is very stressfull.

I think this could be a core belief, around 12 years I remember developing the ideia that I can not say this or that, because it may hurt this person feelings. I become extremely sensitive to others feelings, but in a way that it was too severe on myself.

Don´t know how to change that, this become my default behaviour, and are not functional.

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