Change is not easy and it takes effort..I think a person has to want to change with every bit of there heart and soul. Then you have to start looking at yourself and decide what you want to change and what you want to keep. When doing this look for the things you like about yourself and build on those things...Try not to dwell on the things you don't like. Begin with something small..For instance I need to get more exercise and I know when I get out and walk I feel a lot better..So I say to myself why sit around here and do nothing I know if I get up and get moving I will feel a whole lot better..Than take action,

start doing something,,go for a walk, do some cleaning, do a little work in the garden, fix a nice meal or if you need to rest spend so time reading, doing a crossword puzzle etc. etc. or working on a hobby. Just do a little something..You don't have to make it a chore or exhausting..Just what I can do now. I will feel better both physical and emotionally..In the end I will get stronger and will be able to do more..Find something to do and you will feel so much better about you...

 

Red...

Actually I didn't find the panic triangle on the net but I did the the a Cognitive Triangle and used it yesterday and found it very helpful..I do have a lot of negative thoughts in my memory from past experiences in my life..I can't change the past, these are things that just happen in life that I can not do anything about or change..I do think that I can get better..
The idea that if my memory is full of negative thoughts on previous actions and I keep adding to them then it is going to take a long time if at all to get better is a very depressing thought in its self, that is for sure..but I have hope and faith that anything is possible. If I have faith and trust my higher power and use my own judgment I will be healed...

.

So for now I am going to go to the lake and walk and clear my head and fill my mind with positive thoughts.

 

Red....

Not to worry..No harm. No foul..  My partner helped me and took me to the lake to walk so I could change the direction of my thoughts..I am feeling fine and we are looking forward to a nice quiet evening together..

 

Talk to you soon..

Red..

Hi Debora,

 

You might want to take a look at the thread titled Negative and Positive its under the Heath Educators corner and read the posts I wrote there..These are things that I have been working on doing that help me..May be they will help you too..Doesn't hurt to look..Also the depression center has a excellent written program..I read there also..There are not many people in the support group but that doesn't matter really because you can read the sessions and the information is what you really need and then you can get started on working the program. Just like you do here...There are not many in this support group either but that does not mean you can't work the program..Reading and working the programs is what will get you there..and then you can always come here or go there and post your Accomplishments and other positive things that you are doing to get well which will reinforce the positive. Remember every little step counts and will help you to get better..Also don't forget to reward your self for the progress you are making..

 

Red.....

 

Red....

It would be nice if she asked being it is not her home..and No I don't think she should be talking on her phone while working in a clients home. The only time she should be on the phone is if it is her employer calling for some reason..I wouldn't expect her to bring cupcakes though..I used to work in home health care and we would not of been allowed to bring a client food because they might be on a special diet like a low sodium or low fat or they me be diabetic..I used to hate it when they would start answering their cell phone when they were a my home to help care for my husband..He had Ptsd and dementia and  needed their complete attention..He had swallowing problems and also could wander out the door and get hit by a car..Being on the phone would but him at great risk..I  fired a few so called home health care workers and decided that we were better off on our own..Now if she is just a housekeeper and thats all and does a good job you might want to keep her..but I would let her know that I do not want her using her phone while she is working unless it is her boss calling..You can call her office of employment and check and ask them if they made any calls to her while she was working in your home..and let them know the situation..and how you feel about it..You can then ask them to talk to her or ask that they sent somone else..

 

Red...

Davit.

I found this all very complex and hard to grasp at first..Its does make sense..So would it help to try to limit your contact with negative people?  so that you do not add to your negative thoughts and their negative thoughts do not become yours. I find it hard to remain positive when surrounded by so much negativity..Hence the Agoraphobia I guess...

 

As for the world and all of the negative things that go on out there, I find this a little tougher to deal with..This is hard to do when you live in a Big city like I do..Even neighbors can be a problem..I think the city is like the experiments that have been done where they put to many rats in a cage together..The rats started attacking and eating each other..This is what I think is happening in the Big cities they are over populated and there are just to many people and they are attacking each other like to many rats in a cage..So what do you do if you live in a Big overcrowded city like lots of us do? How do you remain positive when you are under attack? I know this may be a hard question for you to answer too, being that you live in a small quaint village like you do..So if we can't move to a small village how do we cope in a Big rat infested city? How do we apply these principals and techniques to our present environment? You don't have to answer..I am just babbling here...

 

Well I am out of here for the weekend and am going to work on some plans to get away for the Big city and all the negativity for a while..

 

 

Red....

Davit and Sunny,

 

I want to thank you for reading my post and  responding to my cry for help and for your very thoughtful and caring responses..You have really helped me a lot. 

I have been dealing with this problem for about 18 years now and the situation where I live is not getting any better. It has been so sad and contributed greatly to the Panic/Agoraphobia and PTSD and Depression that I now suffer with..It was just to much for my husband to take, he had a couple strokes because of this and the situation with a neighbors bullying us was really horrible for his Ptsd and dementia..These took such a toll on him and I both and he passed away from all of the stress.  I really feel he would of lived longer if we hadn't had this neighbor terrorizing us..We had this neighbor running around our yard sometimes until midnight and hitting our house and fence with baseballs. The fence boards cracking and popping sounds like gun fire and we were in a state of panic especially my husband having been in combat in the war..I tried to make it stop and called the police and nothing helped..Anyway this has never really stopped, my partner and I have had our house and cars egged and last weekend while we were trying to put up trellises on our from porch and plant some flowers it was a nightmare..We had people all over our yard playing volley ball and screaming..Hitting the house and me with the ball..I tried to talk to the neighbor and asked him to not hit the house because my windows might get broken and they cost me a lot of money. His response was your window didn't cost 2000 dollars..They never stopped and I got hit with the ball while digging holes to plant flowers on my front porch..Anyway my partner and I are starting to put up a fence in the front yard starting on Monday..I hope this protects us..So after we get that completed and the house secured we are going to try to get out of town for a while..We have been looking for a place to move to for the last several years. We got the house ready to sell but still need to find a place to live before we sell it..Anyway this has been very hard on us and I don't want to loose him like I lost my husband..I just hope we can get through this and get our fence up without being hurt and that it helps the situation. After we get done with the fenceing hopefully we can leave here for a while. I sure hope we can find a new place to live soon and if not I am seriously thinking about selling the house and taking to road in our travel trailer. This has become so depressing and reliving this over and over again is something I don't think I can face anymore..So if you don't  hear from me for a while I am probably living on the road looking for a place to call home...

I will miss you all if I have to leave here and will try to make contact while on the road..

I want to let you know how much your friendship have meant to me and want to wish you both a very happy life together..

 

Your Friend,

Red...

Sunny,

Thank you for your support and prayers..

 

Red...

Everyone.

 

I am so sorry I had to post about the problems I am having. I hope my story hasn't caused any of you reading here any anxiety..If it has I am very sorry.

 This was something I felt I needed say and that it was better for me if I didn't hold it in and keep it a big secret any more..I really wish this was not my story but it is and I thought it needed to be told..I want you to all know that there is still hope and to never give up not matter what. I haven't given up hope yet and neither can you...Freedom isn't free but it is possible as long as you keep working at it..

 

Red....

My Three for today...

 

The sun is shining and I am having a nice cup of coffee this morning..

 

Today we are starting to build a fence in our front yard.

 

I am one step closer to freedom...