Thanks for asking and showing a interest. I do feel alone here in the group most of the time. Like the invisible woman.
My neck and back is getting better. I think will stick with the walk for while. I may have to rest again today. I think the exercise helps with the anxiety and depression which in turn helps me relax. I am sure it will be more relaxing as I get in better shape and don't have to work at it so hard. This morning I am a little anxious and down. It should get better as the day progress. Talk to you later.
Davit, I am glad to hear you are working on adding people to your life and more importantly a person to share it with. It is true you can have all the things in life and not having someone to share it with does make it less happy. I guess I failed to mention my partner in the dream I posted. I did mention a barn or shop. Thats for him and his hobby and collection of antique farm engines. I could of include the kids even though our kids are all grown and living far away from us my son 3 hrs away and working 5 straight days in a row at a time as a firefighter, his son in Hawaii in the navy and overseas a lot, his daughters 8 hrs away and our 4 grandkids. That would not be a realistic dream and definitely not be a dream that could come true. I have someone in my life to share it with and we have made a live together. We laugh together, cry together, go for walks together on the beach, park, zoo etc. We have experienced many things together for the first times in our lives, like going to see a play, traveling Texas, Arkansas, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arizona, California. We have seen many beautiful things and many beautiful sunsets and sunrises. We are looking for a place to relax and enjoy the Golden years of our life's and our dream is the place I posted about. It is our dream. A place to live away from the stress of the busy and crowed city. I have other people that I have met I and see in the classes I take and in the club that my partner belongs to. This is fine but we really want a place to live where we can relax and enjoy our lives, our hobbies and each other. I know I am Agoraphobic and even if I was not agoraphobic at all I think this would be my dream. I have dreamed of this since I was a child. It is a very pleasant and positive dream for me.
You are right on the mark about my values in my dream post. I read your post and had to think about for a long while trying to understand. By values I guess you mean the things I value in life and that are important to me. Is that right??? For some reason I kept thinking of values meaning family values. I guess that is because I heard so much about it in the new media over the years. Before I returned to this site I was on line trying to plan a camping trip to Utah or somewhere. The weather is getting pretty hot there now. May have to stay in hotels instead. Anyway Is this what you mean about incorporating part of my values and part of my dreams into my life now??? Here is another example. You know when I go and walk on the beach and look out over the ocean on a day when there are not crowds and can see forever I feel I am living part of my dream. The waves against your skin is like a massage and the birds are all dancing and playing in the surf. The sound of the crashing waves are music to the ears. I am free and at peace. No matter what anybody says to me or does they can not turn this into a negative for me. It is part of my dream and is a positive that belongs to me. I have spent a lot of time on different days this week walking on the beach with my partner and my dream. It is my dream not anyone else's here and that is what really matters. I am glad I have my partner to talk to about these dreams with and that he and I can discuss this program and the posts here when I need a impartial opinion or don't understand something. Its good to have a second set of eyes and ears.
Even though neither one of us sees that well or hears well now thats for sure. LOL LOL
Ashley, I am really not looking to start any threads. The last thing I need is negative attention. I was just looking for people to discuss the program with and maybe support each other and talk. Like the discuss the different chapters and things. I don't know.
Thank you for the complement on my flowers and such. Its good to know I am not invisible. Good for you, I am glad to hear that you are starting to working out on the treadmill again. I totally agree with you starting at a slow pace is a good idea, especially now that I got myself to sore to exercise for a couple of days. I do like reading your posts and hope to hear/read about how you are progressing.
Ashley, There is one value that I have to disagree with. This dream does not have security. I have looked for this actual place on my travels around the country and usually the place is:
1. to isolated and not safe
2. the commute to get supplies is to far
3. If something happened to my partner
would I be able to take care of the property alone and would I want to stay there alone.
4. These are things I have to consider now that I am getting older and have health problems.
5. I was the one left behind when I husband died and I am not sure I could endure it again.
It is very hard.
6. Whether living in the city with murderers, predators, and bullies for neighbors or living in a isolated place in the middle of no where. I do not think I would feel safe and secure. My home is payed for so I am secure in that way but I am not safe. Feeling that I am safe and secure would be a dream come true. A real pipe dream.
I think it will be wonderful if find the partner you want to share your life with. You mentioned you were scared. I know it is scary and hard. I really had a hard time letting someone into my life, my world and my home. At first it was hard to sleep because I was used to living alone and I was not used to having someone in the house not to mention staying in the house. We both were used to living alone etc. etc. We had familys especially him that did not want to share him. Even though he was living alone and he never saw his grown kids and his sister would not give us a moments peace, she was a nightmare. My son was much better about it and just wanted me to be happy. It took a long time and I have made the transition to living with another person my partner and am very happy that I took this chance and let someone into my world. Now we have our world together and I am no longer alone in this world and I have someone to share it with. We still have changes to go through and have to make allowances for the other person in our lives and vice versa. It is a ongoing learning process and nothing is perfect, no one is prefect. Its pretty darn close though. I hope you find that special person you are looking for and this is the one. It would be a nice dream come true.
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