My name is Becki and I have just come across this site. I have now suffered for 12 long hard years and I feel this maybe my last hope I have to start to regain my life.
Had a really bad day yesterday and all the bad dark thoughts Ive managed to keep at bay have come back. Spent all night crying and walking round at work like a zombie now.
I don't want to fall back into bad habits, it has been 2.5 years since I last self harmed and I had been doing it for ten years (feels weird telling you this, as hardly anyone knows). I have now got to the part again where I feel so low and useless. Not sure where to go from here........
I have had set backs before, I have always got back up and carried on.....This time is different. I have so many different thoughts and feelings going round in my head that I honestly do not know what is going on.
Dont want to get up, go out, get ready anything. Really want to just shut myself away
day by day, hour by hour minute by minute I am getting worse and I feel, this time, I have given up and decided not to get back up.
On friday i learned that my mum may have cancer. They have said that it could either be a bleeding ulcer or cancer. Me being me i cannot focus on it could be a bleeding ulcer all i can think about is my mum may have cancer and i may loose her. Then to top it off my relationship has broken down beyond repair!!
This really is the final set back i cam take, no matter what has happened in my life i have always got back up and carried on, this time i just cant its too hard.
Help
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