Are You Struggling with Depression or Anxiety?

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Mia
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7 years ago 0 Mia 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Im Mia..Ill tell you a little bit about myself :)

Ok so Im kind of new to this but Ill just start off by telling everyone a little bit about myself. OK well first off my name is Mia and Im 17 about to be 18. Im a senior in high school about to graduate and Im currently doing online school because now Im afraid of being in a classroom because Im scared to get a panic attack. I never had problems with it before but I just started getting really freaked out and anxious in school. Well Ive been diagnosed with Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia about two years ago. And since then I've been living a very diffucult life. This is going to get a little personal now. I actually used to ne addicted to Xanax for awhile. Then I quit taking them cold turkey and ended up having a couple seizures in one night. After that happened I didnt take any Xanax because I was so afraid of having a seizure. Then I started getting very anxious and afriad of having another seizure and one night I started freaking out and thought something was wrong and went to the ER. They told me I had a panic attack and I had no clue what that was. So I read up on it and was still a little confused. Well I was still worrying about having another seizure so Im guessing thats what triggered my other attacks. Then after I would have an attack somewhere I started avoid places where I felt uncomfortable and was constantly afraid of the feeling of having a panic attack again. Well that seizure thing didnt bother me much anymore but from time to time I still feel on edge about. Well two years later and now Im having horrible attacks all the time. At first it was a couple times a week that I would have them and Ive learned to control it a bit and now I get them about once a month or so. I go to a therapist and she kind of helps but not really. I just feel like when I talk to people about my anxiety nobody really understands me. I mean I have great friends and family that support me but I feel like they dont really understand me either because their not going through what I am. I dont know I just feel so depressed sometimes but I know things will get better. Well now Im taking 150 mg of Zoloft and 30mg of Remeron because I cant sleep at night because of this anxiety. My doctor wont perscribe me Xanax now for my panic attacks because I used to abuse them and it really frustrating now because Ive quit taking them for good and I will never use them to get high again. Even when I take one when Im having a panic attack all it does is take my panic away but the doctors dont care. Their saying that once your a druggie your always a druggie. I cant drive in car with my friends because I get really panicky and this anxiety is literally taking over my life. I just dont know what to do anymore. I would go to a new therapist to see if another one helps but my family doesnt have that kind of money to do that. Well sorry for writing so much but it just feels so nice to vent to someone who is going through the same thing. I know everything will turn out for the best in the end but sometimes I dont believe myself when I say this. Well thank you so much for reading this! :)
-Mia
Mia
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7 years ago 0 Mia 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Im Mia..Ill tell you a little bit about myself :)

Davit-
 
Im so glad theres someone here that went through the same thing as I did. Ok so I was addicted to Xanax but I never depended on it to get through theday because I never had anxiety when I took them and all I used them for was to get high. I have a limited number of pills now but I rarely ever use them. But I always carry them with me when I go out just in case something happpens. Yeah thats what they told me but when I have a panic attack I try and get through it without pills and its horrible. Im not dependent on them now at all but I just like to have a couple nearby just in case. Yes, I am extremely annoyed with the limitations panic attacks put on me but Im also frightened to have another panic attack too because it a horrible feeling as you know. Of course I want my anxiety to go away. Doesn't everyone who was it want that? I will continue you take my pills because they help me control my anxiety but Im definently going to try this program. Thank you so much.
 
-Mia
Mia
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7 years ago 0 Mia 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Im Mia..Ill tell you a little bit about myself :)

Red-
 
Thank you so much for welcoming me to this site. Yeah its been really hard to deal with this as many of you know but Im trying my best to overcome this. Well I am so happy I came to the right place and its so relieving knowing there are people out there that are dealing with the same things I am. You guys all seem like such nice people and Im so happy Im not alone in this anymore. Im so happy I found you guys too.
 
Mia
 
Debi-
 
Thank you and Im so glad I joined this site too because you guys all seem like such wonderful people. Yeah its extremely hard to deal with at such a young age but I feel like I can get through this. These limitations put on me really suck but I know things will get better. I am so happy you know and feel what Im going through too. I am definently going to keep reading and thank you for welcoming me!
 
Mia
 
Hi Sunny-
 
Thank you so much for welcoming me too! I feel like I came to the right place too. :) Thanks! I am definently going to try CBT and Im glad there are so many people that have had great success with doing this. I am actually about to start reading Chapter 1 now and Im happy to know that I can study at my own pace. I will definently practice those exercises because that is exactly what I need to learn to calm me down when I start getting anxiety. And Im so glad they worked for you so well! Thank you! I do have determination and faith and I will believe but sometimes when Im feeling down its hard to believe Ill get through it. Thank you again! Well Im so glad you guys will be here for me when I need help and I hope to hear back from you guys soon.
 
Mia
Mia
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7 years ago 0 Mia 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Im Mia..Ill tell you a little bit about myself :)

Hey Davit-
 
Yeah I think theres a difference too and I know. Yeah Im trying as hard as I can but sometimes it doesnt work. I definently feel confident that I will never use xanax again to get high and I told my therapist and physciatrist that and they dont beileve me. Like I said before I feel that their thinking once a druggie always a druggie and its not fair. I know lifes not fair at all but now when I need the help really bad Im not getting the support I need. They gave me about 10 pills a year ago and I still have like 3 left. So pbviously Im not abusing them but they still dont believe me. I try and do that all the time. When I get really anxious and feel that Im about to have an attack I hold out for awhile to see if it goes away and if it gets worse I take .25 of a xanax and if it gets better I get by without one. I know I dont need them but its just nice to have that security that if I get a horrible attack I cant take a small pill and make it go away. Im trying to build myself up to fight this but when a get really panicky all the things that Ive been telling myself just fall away and I get very anxious and scared. I try to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts all the time and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. I know I need to learn how to unlearn having negative thoughts and thats why Im here. I just feel that avoiding things is the easy way out and thats definently not the answer to my problems. I hope Ill get true this and Im sure I will but right now its just hard. Thank you so much for being here for me. :)
 
Mia
Mia
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7 years ago 0 Mia 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Im Mia..Ill tell you a little bit about myself :)

Hey Flint-

Thank you and yeah I have found out that there is some really useful information here. Well Im happy to know that someone went through the same things I have even though it was a bad situation to go through. Well Im very happy to hear that you got off of it. Im glad you didnt go cold turkey because honestly it was hell. At first I didnt have any problems but then out of nowhere one night I had a bunch of seizures and had to be rushed to the hospital. Yeah I definently know Xanax is a very addictive drug. I mean I wasnt dependant on it but I took it pretty much every weekend for a couple years and I would take up to 4mg or more each time. I never had anxiety when I took it but I just liked the feeling it gave me. Well Img glad you switched to a different benzo and finally weaned off of it. Yeah I definently feel Im in control of taking Xanax. I only take a .25mg when needed and it really helps but I dont rely on them to get me through the day or anything like that. Yeah next time I go to my therapist I will talk to her about it. But like I said before she told me that most doctors think that once your a drug addict your always a drug attict and thats definently not the case with all people. But thanks I will definently talk to my physciatrist about it. No I honestly dont consider myself as a druggie anymore. I mean dont get me wrong I was to be a big partier. I smoked weed and took xanax and drank and did a lot of stuff but thats all far behind me now. I still drink occasionally when Im at a party though. Well thank you I definently know that was probably the smartest decision I have ever made. I will never consider myself as a druggie now but I used to be so when people tell my they wont prescribe my a limited amount of pills for my horrible anxiety it really hurts me. Its in my past and I want it to stay there. I probably do have a predisposition to addiction because both my parents are alcoholics and ex-druggies so its hard. Thank you so much for all your support.

Mia
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7 years ago 0 Mia 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Im Mia..Ill tell you a little bit about myself :)

Hey Davit-
 
Yeah I will definently talk to my doctor about it the next time I go for a visit. I mean of course I could have lied and told them I never had a drug history so they wouldnt treat me as an addict but I was truthful and told them everything. Well Im glad you can do without it now. Wow thats a long time. Im sorry :( Thats good that youve only had panic attacks for 4 years and Im so happy to hear that you havent had one in a year! :) Ok Ill have to look into that one. My doctor actually prescribed me Hydroxyzine but Im so scared to take it because I really dont know what it is. And I hate looking up medications because when I read some of the side effects it scares the hell out of me. Thank you. I am definently going to stick with you guys and the program and I know Ill get better over time.
 
Hi CdnGuy-
 
Thanks! Well Im glad you dont have to rely on taking any medications. Its a pain but it helps me gets through the day most of the time. Well Im so glad it helps a lot for you. I love hearing success stories about overcoming anxiety and I really hope I can be a success story someday too. Yeah the people here are really nice and supportive and I love that. They always seem to give me such great advice too. Thank you for welcoming me though :)
Mia
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7 years ago 0 Mia 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Im Mia..Ill tell you a little bit about myself :)

Hey Davit-
 
Ok thank you for the tip. Yeah I havent taken any yet because I looked it up when I got them and it didnt seem like it was for anxiety at all. I think there are better alternatives too. Its 50mg and he prescribed it to me to use when Im having an attack. Yeah he really doesnt and exuse my language but hes a real *******. Like I said before he still thinks Im a drug addict and I dont think he will ever give me a chance. I told him Ive changed but he literally told me that I was bull****ting him. Like I said nefore hes a real prick. See I would do that but my family is very tight on money. Im on Medicade and the place Im going to is the only therapist office that takes Medicade. So its either see them or see nobody. I think thats a good method but I definently dont think theyll give me a chance. Ill ask again though just to see what happens.Yeah thats what I thought but my doctors think differently.  Yeah I definently never did that because it just seems like a stupid thing to do. Yeah thats exactly how I feel and I am so ready to move on and fix this. Yeah I know I dont have to be one because of my parents because their a prime example of how I dont want to end up. I mean I drink occasionally but I dont think Ill ever turn out to be an alcoholic. Well thats a pretty cool hobby :) Im glad you dont drink that much too. Yeah I have definently noticed that and I wouldnt be telling you guys these things if I thought you were going to judge me. Yeah I know but Im just really hope we can all get through this in the end :)