My first day. And the first thing I read was that I was responsible for my choice to drink. What? I was told this is something that takes over the brain ...not a choice I suddenly felt sadness and anger. Sadness that I could have had better control over my choices. . Anger that I didn’t when I have always been an in control person. Sadness....does that mean I should have had control over all the things that happened to me in my life? Awareness, that I don’t think so...now sadness for that hurt has lead me to the choice I made to bury the hurt and what I have felt and feel. And then anger again.
Thank you. And I feel you are correct. The discomfort of sadness or anger can feel overwhelming at times, and I used alcohol to help deaden that feeling. This will be a new journey of recognition and trying to offer a little more kindness to myself. Becoming more aware of when I am in my head.
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