Hi Holygeez, Thanks for posting this. Yes, I'm just one of the many people who loves your humour but I will not joke about this one. I don't know what to tell you, because I'm just quitting this weekend. I also have 2 smokers in my house, but neither of them is quitting with me. I didn't ask them to and they didn't offer. They have agreed to support my quit (I wrote them a letter asking for them to do a list of specific things that I thought would help) and most importantly to smoke outside. Maybe if you put your feelings and needs in writing, calmly but assertively it would clear up the situation. They might hear where you're coming from without a face to face confrontation, you being emotional, angry or upset and them in response getting defensive about it? Having smokers in your house while quitting can be a challenge. I've worked hard cutting down to practicaly nothing these past coulple weeks and I'm actually able to smell things better already. Smoke stinks and already turns my stomach! I wonder if the unavoidable whiffs Ill get from smokers will bother me and if so, what can I do for the ones that live in my house other than hosing them down before allowing them near me??? I want to hear tips on how others handle things in situations like this too. As for the money part, I struggle with the same questions since my hubby has almost always paid for my ciggies too. We haven't discussed this issue yet, but I know it will come up eventually. On the one hand I feel guilty spending the savings, yet on other hand I'm now saving him a whole whack of cash he would have spent on killing me with ciggys, so why shouldn't I be rewarded with at least some of it for quitting! It is a quandry. I also get the general feeling that my quitting is bothering them,(only 1 small comment out loud so far...I squashed that one right away but it's probably only a matter of time for more to crop up). I wonder if it's because now they are aware of every ciggy they have to go outside to smoke. Jealousy or inconvenience, whatever, it needs to be resolved eventually. I have no qualms about that whatsoever, and I will stick to my guns to protect my quit but I don't want to aggravate the people I love and live with either. The silent spells and guilty

You've received some great advice! I'm proud of you socking away that money. I'm watching my meter here and I'm going to do a nice vacation and pay down some debt in about 1 year! I hope they don't pull you down - don't let them get to you. Keep shaking the money jar in their faces? Seriously, best wishes, I loved Imallclear's reply, that is the way it is in my house (though I do keep the books, we both share 50/50 on some level). Good luck! Marie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 23 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 718 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $172.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 31

well, that's the kicker too...whenever I say anything positive about my life change or regarding non-smoking whatsoever...they are up one side of me and down the other. I'm suddenly a 'preacher.' trace [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 20 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 414 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $180 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 26 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

Many of you have gotten to know me as quite the joker...as that is what I usually am...see the light and fluffy side of everything. However, I am having an "issue" and I need some unbiased advice or suggestions please. Up until 20 days ago, my hubby, myself and my brother (who I've taken in to help deal with an opiate addiction) where all smokers. We agreed on a little contest to quit. I'm still here, but they weren't ready. Fair enough. Well, at the beginning of this quit, it was decided that our home is now smoke free. But, since I'm the newbie non-smoker...they get rude and say smarty pant comments..."oh, cause YOU don't smoke, WE have to freeze outside", etc. They are also telling me that I'm more of a *itch now cause I don't smoke. Hey man...I'm a redhead. Tempermental, stubborn and difficult ANYWAYS. Plus, hubby just found out that I'm putting $9 a day away (what I use to spend smoking) and suggests that that isn't fair. Why should I be saving when HE used to buy the smokes. I'm trying not to get defensive over this, but its hard. It's almost like they get mad at me cause I'm not smoking anymore. How shall I handle these morons? tx trace [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 20 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 414 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $180 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7

They may be resentful on some level that you don't smoke anymore. I would argue that it is deeper for them than that and that that issue is beyond your control. RE: socking away the money you would otherwise spend on cig.s - your husband is in a legally closer position to comment on your finances than me, but my opinion is that it sounds both fair and great. (if he wants to comment on money not spent on cigarettes, then i think he should put up or shut up - talk about/and or show his own money saved from not smoking - i know he isn't there yet). Moving on. I don't care how much they grumble, it is staying a smoke-free house. I hate to say this here, but some people enjoy putting themselves in a position of having other people tell them what to do. For example, one thing that grips me is when I call to someone's house to see if they can come to an event with my family. If a particular husband answers (a few actually) they say in a proud way that the wife is the keeper of the calendar and the commander in chief. My husband says they have learned to be that way. I tell him that if he ever says that to get away from me fast. I'm not going to tell him what to do and everyone has a say and responsibility in the family (the same applies to chores). What I'm trying to say is - are they looking to you for direction? even though it doesn't feel nice? If that is not the case, then I would have to stand up for my rights. period. then again - i don't have to live with them. I can tell you this. smoking can be hard enough on the psyche w/o any undue duress (sp?). Either way, we are here to support you. YOU GO GIRL! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/29/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 28 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 288 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $140 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46

Holygeez is a good name - When they complain about the cold, remind them of your agreement. This was agreed upon before any of you quit. Re: your hubby complaining about the 9.00, I'd be tempted to guilt him (but I am nasty so you might get better advice elsewhere)...However, being the witch that I am I know that I would ask him why he was willing to contribute 9.00 per day toward helping me kill myself but he doesn't feel that I can put this same 9.00 per day toward something that makes me happy. I remember how much I hated going outside and how much I hated when the smoking rules changed....but I was an addict. They are addicts too and they are having a rough time watching your success. Hopefully, they will be inspired by you as time goes on. Re: the *itch comments, we reserve the right to be total *itches for 3 weeks and periodically thereafter (It's part of the Quit Smoking agreement....I think) Good luck to you! Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 138 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,774 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $690 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12

Tell your husband to give you the $9 he would have spent on cigarettes for you! If he's the one who spent it in the first place then he won't miss it and your savings can keep growing! My boyfriend didn't really support my quit either when i first did it, but like some others here have said they do get jealous that someone else is succeeding in what they would like to do. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 167 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,702 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $654.64 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 12 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

Have I got some advice for you! :8o: Next time the two step out of the house, call a locksmith and have the locks changed! :eg: Have three keys made: One for you and one for each of them....AFTER they sign the contract they can have their key! I think that's fair---truly I do! I have a daughter that sneaks one in the mudroom between the kitchen and porch when she visits. I can smell it throughout the WHOLE house. My entire family knows we have quit. We have a small apartment/pool house on the other side of the pool that has heat and air and I have installed an air purifier. Nobody lives there anymore. It is furnished and has a bathroom. Smokers can go there to smoke or out on the front or back porches. It absolutely infuriates me to smell that stink anymore! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 140 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,046 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1120 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20

Holygeez, This is a problem that has plagued many quitters. It may be that your smoking counterparts are jealous, they fear change or are angry because your quit is making it harder for them to smoke. Let them be. Be proud of your quit! Don't let them bring you down. You are not preachy, you know better. If they still weren't slaves to their addiction, they would see the light too. You don't hold a gun to their head to keep smoking. They make that choice and you've made yours. They have nobody to blame but themselves for having to freeze outside. This will be an ajustment for everyone involved so be patient. Concerning the controversy in your home, figure out what you want. If you can compromise a little, go for it. Here are some examples of what some members have done in the past: * Included their partner in some of their rewards. Ex: going out to dinner together, ordering in for everyone, a trip for two... * Limiting smoking to one room of the house * Agreeing to consequences should cigarettes be found left out by the other party. If you think it might jeopardize your quit to have them smoking in the house or taking that 9$ away, stick to your guns! Bottom line: when it comes to you & your quit, your needs come first. Hope this helps. Danielle _______________________ The SSC Support Team

This isn't so very different than a household of chubbies and one goes on a diet and excercise program. The other chubbies try to sabotage the efforts and get angry. It's almost like by making these kinds of changing, you are rejecting them as well as the lifestyle. I don't know what else you could do but stick it out. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/27/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 44 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $10 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1