My social anxiety shows up as gastrointestinal problems, making my social anxiety worse and making me seem more distant to those around me. Always wondering if I should dart to the restroom is a real killer in social situations and does not allow me to concentrate on other aspects of being social.
Trembling is also a problem. I can usually overcome it at work. In healthcare there's a large amount of touching another individual and I myself am not really a "touchy, feelie" type of person. I get over it by knowing my job and understanding that what I must do is necessary. When I notice that I'm trembling and need do something like remove sutures I blame too much caffine and then go on. This doesn't work at dinners. Finding that you tremble when you bring the water glass up is again a killer tomy social skills. I end up drinking alcohol to compensate, I begin to feel more relaxed. Like Daily Llama if I don't have at least a drink I also end up with a massive headache. With a drink it's 50/50.
I let others pick the topic of conversation and only add if I have something meaningful to say. I find that I am able to converse about most things with people. If it's something I am not familiar with I try to ask questions related to the topic at hand. If it's something that I have no interest in at all I stay silent and hope for a subject change.
I must say Daily Llama that some of your topics do sound interesting. I like criminal psychology, forensic investigation and such, but I doubt that it would make good dinner conversation. The Holocaust would not be an enjoyable topic for me, and likely not many other people you meet. It was a horrible horrible historical event and not a discussion I'd like to have at a party. Great restaurants and wines, poetry, 19th & 20th century novels and clay pigeon shooting are likely more party conversations. I happen to like lighthouses and lighthouse history. It doesn't come up at parties either.
In the end most people stick to common things that most people know about, like footballand cars. You don't sound like a guy who would be interested in such. But to an enthusiast there is beauty in those things also. I've learned that a pass to a receiver and the subsequent catch can be a thing of perfection. The lines of a beautifully restored car is also beautiful. I participate in these things because many are interested in them. But I have my own passions that may not be party conversations and that's ok, they're still me.
Mom of 3
