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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Sunny, my fellow dragon slayer, I am proud of you. You did not believe the dragon; he is a liar. Excellent example. I invite everyone to join us and become dragon slayers. Dragons aren't so scary, once they are exposed for the pathetic liars they are. When faced with a dragon we have two choices. We can feed the dragon and give him power (believe the neg. lies), or we can not believe him and stab him with a sword (by our positive words) and make him weaker. He won't roar so loud, the weaker he gets. Keep up the great work everyone - you never cease to amaze me with your courage and positive experiences. Please post them, it helps us all to move forward. That's what I love about this group. When one of us falls, there is someone who picks you up and walks with you until you can stand upright again. God bless you all.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi everyone:

just to add to your experience Shari; last night I was quietly reading and suddenly I felt so lightheaded and my heart started to beat faster - this is unusual as I'm on a betablocker and it's pretty slow - but I immediately felt "fear" that my BP was going crazy again and I sensed that I could get worse if I got more anxious. So what did I do? I started right away the positive self talk that everything was o.k., I took deep breaths and did some breathing techniques such as the box breathing, all the while continuing the positive self talk. Within a minute or two, this sensation passed. What was this? I don't really know, but I can see how I could have escalated to a panic attack as I would have done in the past because my fear of the BP is still fresh from all I've been through this summer. Gotta bury that fear as I am better lately. So, we all get these bumps in the road, but with the coping techniques we hae learned we can make them go away.

p.s. I love the way you write! so descriptive and imaginative. You go, Dragon Slayer Lady!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Teebs, That's exactly how I felt. Thanks for the hug, I needed it.

Davit, Thanks for the loving and kind kick in the butt, I needed that too. I get it. I got wrapped up in the false feeling of it and got really uncomfortable with looking at it the way I did (negatively), because I know it's not true. This negative core belief is the biggest dragon I've ever faced, but I will slay it, just as I have slayed the smaller dragons. Now, I understand, now I know. It can't run and hide in my ignorance. It's been exposed. I can see the bullseye on it. My positive self talk statement is: "Dragon, you will grow weaker until the final blow. This I promise you. Warrior Shari. P.S. Dragon now you've put your fire under me, instead of at me. I will defeat you!. Shari The Dragon Slayer." Now, I'm mad (at the dragon), in a good way. It's called, determination! Can you hear the victory trumpets? I can!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Shari,

I just wanted to say that you are always welcome to come on here and vent. I don't necessarily have answers for you as I'm working through everything right now, too, but sometimes it helps to just get it all out. I almost feel bad sometimes posting here with all my problems (negative core belief red flag of mine: the feeling I have to hide my anxiety because I'm not allowed to have weaknesses), but then I remember that this is a support group and all of you are so understanding and have been so helpful.

It seems like you are well on your way to making lots of positive changes, and there will definitely be bumps in the road and off days! And in those moments I hope you'll continue to share your frustrations, because we're here for you!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Shari

I want to thank you ahead of time because I know you won't mind me using you as an example. After all we are a group and we are here to help each other.

What you have just gone through we have seen with other members, plural. This is a normal part of getting better. And you all will do it. It is just part of the process. And it is a good thing since you have a good attitude. So the program is working and you are feeling better hey! Now the natural thing is to see how much better. Well what are you going to compare it to?Remember you can not remove memories from your mind only bury them so it is still there. Remembering how it used to be is enough to bring the core belief to the surface again. I call this rebound for lack of a good word for it. It is not a relapse unless you stay there. It is a bump in the road is all. It is that Negative Core Belief that you are not good enough telling you this can't be right. You know you are but there it is telling you you are not. Think of this as exposure. You have looked at it "again" and you know it is wrong so this time put it to sleep for good. "believe" You can do it you did it before. And I know you will because every one else that went through this did.

Negative Core beliefs do not go away, they just get weaker to the point they have no power.

Shari has the right mind set to do this. She has the right attitude to change how she sees this back to positive and she will. It doesn't mean it won't happen again but next time it will be weaker if it ever happens again because she has compared how good she felt with how she used to feel and found that the Negative Core Belief was wrong. See though it was a painful experience it was a positive one. And next time if there is one, she can say I looked at it twice and it was wrong both times so go away. Poof, gone. For those of you that have doubts, watch and see what she does with it.

Remember the Key thing It is not the Core Belief it is how you perceive it that makes it negative or positive. You can all do this! The key words are "I believe" just believe.

Here for you

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

My negative core belief of rejection is deep rooted. I go along fine and then my insecurities kick in. It's a lifetime issue I've had and I guess it's going to take awhile to uproot and kill it. It had gotten so bad, in the past, that I became hermit like and decided that it was more stressful to have friends than to be alone with my pets. Since I don't want to become the crazy cat lady or chicken lady, if you've read my new hobby post, I guess I need to deal with this, so I'm posting it and not retreating which is what I'd really rather do, because it's easier not having to deal with the issue. When I meet new people, I want them to like me and I'm afraid that they will abandon me. I just realized today that I try to give people gifts, instead of letting the gift be the friendship. I guess it's a case of the "What if's" that is my arch nemesis. In general, I'm always afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing. When I'm anxious about one thing, I tend to generalize about other things and it snowballs. My cat decapitated and ate the head of a salamander and I don't know if it's poisonous, so I'm trying not to worry about that. I have a new friendship with a person and I'm trying not to worry about driving the person away. Then my email was giving me trouble and I couldn't get on this website and it was too many things at once. The positive is, I didn't go into a panic attack. I guess I need to challenge my thoughts with the 10 Questions for each individual issue. I'm tired, so I'll just post this. I know it's just an off day.

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