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Seriously thinking about lighting up - please HELP

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Seriously thinking about lighting up - please HELP

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1985

Hi Jazz

Look at you 144 days, congratulations for your steadfastness. In addition to all the good advice of others, distractions can play a role here as well.

When the situations gets heated leave it just long enough so that you can regain your composer. Get in the car and head to the market or do some window shopping, take a short walk, go outdoors and give someone special a phone call, gardening... something calming and soothing. The bumps we endure make us that much stronger. Have a wonderful weekend.

Regards

Stickin To It

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/22/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 852
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 15,336
Amount Saved: $4,984.20
Life Gained:
Days: 156 Hrs: 3 Mins: 1 Seconds: 21

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Jazz!

When was the last time you got out of town for a weekend? When did you both have a great treat? My wife and I have gone through similar periods in our lives! I would get stressed out from work and sort of clam up and then she would get upset because we weren't talking like we normally do. You probably know what I mean!!! When ever we got into this kind of situation, one of us will always say "ROAD TRIP"!!! We know that it will do us both good to get away for a night or two!

On the spur of the moment, we'll just pack up a bag, pack a bag for the dogs and grab their bowls and just head out!!! Sometimes we'll go to a lake or a state park and have some brews and then find us a pet friendly motel! Even though we don't get the things done that we were planning on doing that weekend, by getting away and communicating we'll come back more in tune with each other, more relaxed and things will be much better!!!

Think about it!!! If it's been a while since you both have had a nice reward, a road trip might be just the ticket!! If you can't get too far away, maybe just a long day at a local park with a picnic basket on a nice day! The key is to relax and communicate!

Have a great weekend!!

Jim

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 3/5/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 79
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,975
Amount Saved: $325.88
Life Gained:
Days: 12 Hrs: 23 Mins: 34 Seconds: 53

Quit Meter

$44,610.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1067 Hours: 16

Minutes: 19 Seconds: 29

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5948

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

178,440

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 802

Thanks guys - you're bringing on more tears (but better ones). Moss, I know smoking won't make things better. Just as you said, it would open up a new can of worms. It just sounds like a good way to make things "normal" again. I hope you're feeling better by the way. Kiwi, I like the idea of a "jiffy" - there and gone. I guess it's really different dealing with things without hiding behind the smokes. Patrick, I'll look like a shriveled up prune if I follow your advise to the letter! Peace, you're a sweetie. I hope you're feeling better too.

Thanks again gang. Have a great weekend.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/3/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 141
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,820
Amount Saved: $1,071.60
Life Gained:
Days: 14 Hrs: 23 Mins: 58 Seconds: 51

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 229

Hello Jazz...

I've been off of the site for almost a week due to a depression.. already in one just

got worse and needed some down time in many areas of my life.

Lots of people have said that we change when we quit smoking. Some of us become

really outspoken and let it all out and other's become super sensitive to a lot of things

and so on.

With both you and your hubby quitting at the same time you're both going through

some serious changes. He may be going in one direction while you are going in the

other. I've always found that for a moment take a time out and take that hot bath..

put on some of your favourite lotions, perfume, get all snuggled up in your favourite

p.j.'s (or whatever..housecoat). Open up a book to further distract yourself and

when you feel more calm sit down with hubby and work out a feasible plan. Remember

that communication is so key to any relationship and with quitting it's important to

keep the lines of communication as open as possible.

You are doing so well and I've read many of your posts and you've been an absolute

inspiration. You're going to get through this rough patch kiddo..you'll see.

Sending loads of (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) of support and inspiration back to you !

Peace

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 3/5/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 79
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,580
Amount Saved: $711.00
Life Gained:
Days: 9 Hrs: 1 Mins: 5 Seconds: 25

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 649

Hi Jazz

I hope getting it off your chest will help. You've got a lot of days under your belt. Would a smoke help the situation with Mr. J or would it create a whole other mess to clean up? I don't mean that sarcastically. From the outside it just seems that going back to smoking would open a new can of worms between you and hubby. Does he want to go back to smoking too? If only one of you is smoking that might be even more difficult. I know that when you are in the heart of distress there isn't much one can say that can change your feelings at the moment. Just know that we truly do care about your heart and soul, even though we only know one another from the words we exchange here.

I wish for you a "whole big bunch of emotional good stuff" this weekend.

Moss

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 11/19/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 186
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,790
Amount Saved: $627.75
Life Gained:
Days: 29 Hrs: 23 Mins: 18 Seconds: 16

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 672

As non-smokers we need to learn how to deal with emotions without smoking. Being over critical, analysing 'nitty gritty' bits, super sensitivity & dealing with the relationship issues is all part of the ride.

You will both get over it, work together on this as you are both going through some major emotional metamorphosis.

The moment will pass in a jiffy & you will learn from it.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/1/2005
Smoke-Free Days: 1238
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 43,330
Amount Saved: $8,047.00
Life Gained:
Days: 181 Hrs: 22 Mins: 42 Seconds: 54

Quit Meter

$12,663.60

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 633 Hours: 14

Minutes: 34 Seconds: 43

Life Gained
Quit Meter

3460

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

51,900

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Hi, Jazz... you're going through a really bad time right now. Maybe Mr J is having difficulties himself but can't talk about it? You do the best you can to keep the friction to a slow grind while you get your no-smoking-mind back in shape... do all the obvious things! Best of all, go take a bath now and plan how many more baths you'll take until you feel better, stronger and more determined to keep the addictive thoughts out of your head - how to brush them aside. There is no physical longing going on so it's all psychological and to get rid of those thoughts you have to distract yourself... Go out to a movie with a girlfriend... go to the 7/11 and get a bunch of Moon Pies or whatever (better to send a kid in to get them for you)....

Be good to yourself this weekend and try to smooth the ruffled feathers with Mister Jazz...

Patrick

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/18/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 126
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,150
Amount Saved: $1,417.50
Life Gained:
Days: 23 Hrs: 11 Mins: 56 Seconds: 10

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 802

Hi all. I need a shoulder to cry on. I don’t generally request help, but I think I need to before the weekend is on us, or I’ll make a horrible mistake and light up.

I know it won’t make anything better, but right now I don’t care. I haven’t felt this down since I quit. As most of you know, Mr. J and I quit together – things have been going pretty good, but the last 3-4 weeks we seem to be getting really pissy at each other. I don’t know whether it’s his lack of sensitivity and bluntness (which is so not like him, he’s a patient understanding man), or I’m being too sensitive and taking things too far out of context. I’m just so friggin’ upset and want things to go back to how they were. I’m tired of crying and trying to pretend that I’m OK, ‘cause I’m not. Trust me, I’m not a crier so this is really tough for me to accept.

I know you guys aren’t counselors – maybe I just needed to vent. Dunno.

Any suggestions from other couples that quit together? Thanks everybody. I'm not trusting myself on this one - way too tempting to "fix" myself with a smoke.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/3/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 141
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,820
Amount Saved: $1,071.60
Life Gained:
Days: 14 Hrs: 23 Mins: 51 Seconds: 0

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Seriously thinking about lighting up - please HELP