Thank you all for your support and your replies!I truely appreciate it!
Rose,
The Anti-depressant that was prescribed is Cymbalta (duloxetine hydrochloride). It is, like Effexor and Pristiq, an SRNI. It is a very different mollecule than pristiq and effexor though. And yes, pristiq is very much like Effexor. I heard it is better Who knows. I am allergic to Paroxetine (Paxil or Deroxat) and Sertraline (Zloft, Lustral and Aslopie). So taking Cymbalta is a risk for me as it is close in nature to Paxil. Although Paxil is an SSRI not an SNRI. So I am having to see and think on if I will try it or not. I will see, I need to think.
And yes long-term scares me and makes me feel depressed and defeated. Short-temr I am slowly coming to terms with.
As for both seeing a therapist it would be great but I don't think we can afford it. So I am hoping couples therapy helps!
I've been wondering about you. I did read your other posts and I think you are to be commended for your perserverance. I think you have taken the high road in your struggle and are definately the one with the most honesty. Your in-laws are blind and most likey more dysfunctional than you are. That's why they don't understand you - they can't be honest. It's no wonder their son is a gaming addict - it didn't start because of you. Your husband has deep rooted issues just like you - so do his parents whether they acknowledge them or not doesn't change this.
I understand that you don't want to go back to the meds. Think of it like taking an antibiotic for an infection. Right now you are having a type of "infection" called overwhelmed. You may not need to continue once you beat it. As for allergic reactions - talk to your doctor now and before taking the meds. Don't take chances with your health - perhaps using something you have used previously with success and no problems would be better than a new unknown medication.
Hang in there Diva - Men are sometimes too repressed to admit they have weakness. It's still not macho to admit to not being able to handle so they tend to blame other things but not themselves. You having depression/anxiety is ok because we're viewed as women (=weak). They are men and this = strong if only in their own mind. Walking out of a session in the face of his weakness was all your husband could do at the time. Hang in there!!!
Diva, just want to say "one day at a time" and This too shall pass. The thought of the doctor saying indefinitely and forever made me feel a bit claustrophobic, trapped and helpless. So I just take them one day at a time and worry about taking them tomorrow.
Take care of yourself...see if it works, watch for the signs of allergic reaction and trust your instinct!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what's the name of antidepressant? pristiq? supposed to be refined effexor....anyways, that's what i just got, hope this isn't a conspiracy! supposedly my doc heard good things, we'll see. don't be angry at yourself. long-term really scares you, doesn't it? don't cry. too bad you couldn't both see someone on a weekly basis - is there a free support group in your area? in a church or ymca, you gotta keep the momentum going....good luck, diva, you deserve it.....can i ask, how old are you? i'm not sure and it matters as far as advice goes and if you are the ages of my own kids i can better understand you and where you are coming from
YEah, I am angry and frustrated. I am glad to see I am not overreacting and that others can understand why I feel so defeated and angry about all this. And yes, I have decided to do as you say and think short term. Spoke to my therapist and he thinks the same. Try it and take it for a time, see if it helps and get off once I feel ok. Thinking short term makes me feel less angry and defeated about all of this. Short term medication I can deal with. Plus, it would help me get off the anxiety meds which are not meant for long term use. So I figure I will take them long enough to give it time to work and give time for the worse of the side effects to abait and then I will see where I stand on this. But I figure it is my right to reevaluate anytime I want! So yes, I agree with you. It is more realistic and less overwhelming for me to think for the short term. Thanks so much for this advice it helps a ton!
As for fear of allergic reaction, what I meant is that I have few, as in very few, as in nearly no other options. My other options are to look into much older mollecule which have way more side effects. I am allergic to many of the newer molecules. Even the pharmacist thinks that it is worth giving it a try under tight surveillance and my pharmacists does not like taking risks!
I just don't have many options in the newer anti-depressant categories and the older ones give so many side effects...Anyway, I am scared. Scared of a bad reaction. This is all very difficult for me and it means this is a tough day.
Your anger and frustration over the doctor's opinion is totally understandable. You have worked very hard to deal with your issues head-on and you have continued to battle the negativity and anxiety in your life on a daily basis.
Have you discussed your fears of an allergic reaction to the meds with your doctor? You mentioned you have some options........what are they?
Rather than accepting and then fighting the idea of accepting that you may need to take the meds long-term, is it possible to just take them until you are feeling more in control and then reassessing the situation at that point? Sometimes, looking at the long term or big picture can be more frightening, overwhelming and frustrating than if you create a more realistic short-term perspective. What do you think?
On top of it, I have leanred from my pharmacist that this molecule is close enough to one of the meds I have had an allergic reaction to that I need to be on allergy watch everytime I take it for 2-3 days! Now I am terrified to take it! But I have few options...
I went to see my doctor. She seems worried that I am not really pulling through this "burn-out" or whatever you wanna call it. She has prescribed an anti-depressant. I asked for how long. she admitted to me she thinks I might need it long-term, as in forever. Now this idea revolts me! It makes me angry. I am working so hard to get better on my own! And on top of it, I have gotten better over the years. Even now, in this slump, my life is way better then it was once. It is one thing for me to take meds temporarily to help myself but a whole other one to take them for life! I told my doc this.
So she said ok let's just take them for a little bit then to help get you back on your feet. So I took the prescription. I was crying the whole way back in the car. This depresses me. This makes me feel defeated and like a failure. I worked so hard to get off the meds and now I am back on! I hate this. Plus, I haven't ever really found any meds that really worked well for me anyway! So many side effects, bleh! I could cry right now.
So now I have these new pills and I have no idea what to do with them. Chuck them or take them.... On top of it, with all the bad reactions and allergic reactions I have had in the past, taking new meds is an ordeal for me at best. I get so scared! Bleh!
It can seem overwhelming to start a list of all your concerns or issues you would like to address. However, this list can be beneficial for a number of reasons. Not only will it help you during therapy sessions but it will also help you individually when you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious by putting your concerns into prospective and allowing you to prioritize them.
Glad to hear you are getting out of the house and meeting up with your friend. Activities like this are always mood-boosters!
Let us know how the next therapy session goes and if you found making a list helpful!
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