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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Diva,

It sounds like you have had a rough day. It also sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Perhaps you would find it helpful to create simple "To-Do" lists for yourself to help you complete the tasks associated with your party in June, your cat's health, and your own emotions. Creating these lists could help you make these tasks into small achievable goals that will also help you put your task list into perspective. By making this list you can also begin to think of solutions to some of the issues you are experiencing. What are some possible solutions? What options can you create for yourself?

As you mentioned in your previous post, tomorrow is a new day with new challenges and new successes. For the remainder of your night, focus on what you could do to help yourself relax. What do you usually find helpful in these situations? Are there certain activities you do that help you relax?

Stay close to the boards Diva. And don't forget, tomorrow is a new day!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

I HATE MY DAY!!! I have a good life but at the moment, I HATE EVERYTHING!!! Mostly I HATE MYSELF AND EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!!!

Ok breathe...

I feel horrible today. I gained weight and I feel monstrous. But feeling bad makes me hungry. so either I eat a lot and then feel guilty or I feel hungry non-stop which makes me want to ram my head into a wall. I feel so icky and awful. I also think I have lost some hair and am starting to get a receding hairline, knock on wood I hope I don't. I am a woman, I can't lose my hair! I feel tired and fat and ugly and moronic and unworthy. Oh and to add to the joy of it all, I am hormonal!

I went out with my mom. I thought it would make me feel better. It did not. I went to the mall. I tried on some clothes. All of it was extra large and TOO SMALL!!! On top of it most of the time we were there, my mom kept looking at her watch and hinting she was short on time! She is the one who invited me! I felt in the way, completely. I thought she wanted time with me but once I was there I felt like chopped liver, like I was in the way! So I just gave up and started heading home so she could go home. I tried to tell her how I felt but then she looked so guilty I tried to downplay it. But I feel so awful right now. I just want to hide under my blankets and cry and not come out again.

On top of it, I forgot to buy what I needed to complete supper.

Oh and I have a big party coming up in June with tons of people. I was asked to sing in front of everyone on top of it. And I am fat and I have nothing to wear.

If I could I would hide till July and be done with it.

Anyway, will go crawl under the bed and hide and hope tomorrow is better. And I know, this too shall pass!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hi guys,

Today I feel well, just plain yucky. I feel tired and headachy and sad. My mom called to go out and I don't even want to. It is raining and I feel ugly and fat! But I will make myself go. I just hate these kinds of days. I feel like a big fat lump. Gonna go now. Need to get my fat behind into my pants that have now grown too tight as I have gained weight, again!

I know I will feel better tomorrow but in the meantime bleh! This too shall pass!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Oooh, sounds like a neat idea! I will look into it, thanks!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

diva...

i just though of something ... if your cat has a condition... the vet schools might agree to follow him/her so that the students have a good patient and you get quality care at less.

see if there is a teaching hospital in the surrounding farm country...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Great, as if I needed more...

1) I can't sleep yet again! (and I got up early today...)

2) The cat is sick again and we will have to bring him to the vet's again which we couldn't really afford the first time around and still can'T afford because I can't hold on to a job!

This too shall pass! But in the meantime it sucks!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

I was just rereading my posts and thought wow, I am not even sure I can ever manage to keep a part-time job let alone a full-time one without crashing and burning and now I am considering having kids? Am I delusional? Man I am having a bad evening...

Why is it we are so hard on ourselves. There is this horrible person in my head that picks on me mercilessly all the time! And that is me! Why?

I feel so horrible and lame and lazy and bad and just plain NO GOOD! This is a bad night. I will go back to reading and hopefully eventually I will feel calm enough to sleep.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Sarah, thanks for the reply!

Yes I guess I do need to get into a routine. I think between 11-11 should be my first goal. Once I reach that, I will set another one if need be. And yeah, lack of sleep definitely has a gnarly impact. But the sleeping place thing is difficult. My husband snores, loudly you see. On nights where is snoring is minimal, I like to cuddle with him on the bed. If his snoring is bad, I sleep in the guest bedroom or on the couch. When my anxiety is high I feel better on the couch, but other times I sleep better in the guest room. So it is difficult for me to pick a definite place to sleep...As for the sleep journal though I think that is a wonderful idea! I will make sure to try it!

As for the baby thing, well yes, talking to my doctor is a good idea. In fact, I managed to get an appointment with her in two weeks! I am just terrified she will tell me I should not have children or something equally bad. I am terrified it will go badly. Heck if I think I might be too screwed up to have kids what will others think?

And yes, one step at a time is a good idea. At the moment I am trying to organize my house! Once it is all done I will let you know how it looks!

Thanks again for the reply!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Diva,

Thank you for sharing your experience and keeping us updated on how you are doing.

You have shared a lot in your posts and have touched on a number of subjects.

In terms of your sleeping issues, it is important that you continue to work towards a routine you can rely on that works with your daily habits. It is difficult to ignore the impact that lack of sleep has on all other aspects of our well-being. You mentioned that you do not have a steady sleeping place. Having a place that is used only for sleeping will help you stick with a routine and will also make it easier to fall asleep. It can be hard for your body to understand when it is time to sleep if it is in a different environment. Perhaps try sleeping in the same spot for a week. Hopefully you will notice the benefits of this routine. It may also be helpful for you to keep a sleep journal each night. In this journal you can track when you last ate, your caffeine intake, other relevant daily activities, and any sleep disturbances throughout the night. You may be able to start seeing some patterns within your sleep activitiy and you can adjust your habits to maximize your sleeping potential.

In terms of your decision about having a baby, it is strongly encouraged that you speaking to your family physician about this decision. As you mentioned, some of the medication you are on can impact your pregnancy and knowing about the possible side effects of these medications could also make you feel more comfortable about your choices.

Although it sounds like you are having a number of different experiences right now, be sure to take things one step at a time. Don't forget to take a step back and enjoy your day-to-day activities.

Stay close to the boards Diva and continue to keep us posted.

Sarah, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Not that transgender is a problem! I just did not want to confuse anyone! So yeah, I have been struggling with my sexual preferences let's just say. It has been super tough on me. I have spoken to some people about this but many have no clue as I don't think they would understand!

Anyway, this post is long enough as is. Sorry! HAve a great day all!

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