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10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Woke this morning to an inch of snow that is gone now. Sun is out and it is a nice day again. It looks like there is still a foot of snow that needs to go. Sticking more seeds in the cell packs. Waiting for more seeds coming in the mail. My friend is sending me things she wants to grow. One more month till she will be on the road. There is some anxiety there of course but we are handling it. Tomorrow I get my car tires changed. Then in ten days I get the tractor tires replaced. By then things should be moving to the greenhouses and I can have my house back. Middle of May the moving truck will get here with a load of stuff I have to find room for. Cats will go nuts with all those packing boxes to play in. By then I will be sticking things in the garden.

I'm supposed to be down sizing but instead I will be making more flower beds and enlarging the already too big gardens. I will have help at least. I hired Gus to do the things I can't and things that need two people. Things will be different. There will be two people to harvest. I'll still give away apples as there will still be far too many.

My garden is a modified version of French intensive. Rows are just narrow enough to straddle with a tractor. New strawberry bed is 8' by 30' and we are going to put in seventy five plants. Well actually I will be putting them in. Three different varieties to see what grows best here.

Having fun because that is what this is supposed to be. Compensation for when I ache which is too often.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Well this is interesting. It has been what, two weeks since I could get on here. I've been very busy with started seeds.

The power just went down so I'm not sure what I'll do now. Water pump doesn't work without power. I'm sure I can find something to do. It depends how long it will be off I guess.

David

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I felt so well, that I woke, and decided to figure out how to place a curtain rod on a window, found the rod with rust, and proceeded to research how to clean it with vinegar & baking soda. It's amazing how clean the hardware becomes with little effort! I also found extra hardware, but need the little running wheels for the heavy curtains, which I also uncovered in the linen closet. Mom wants to modify the curtains, and allow me to have window treatment, but I can go either way, and buy a second set of rod & drapes, once I figure out the number. It was wonderful standing the spring sun warming me, as I looked at the rusted rod, wondering what to do next. Where this energy comes from, I don't know...I was fed up with mom having a draft at the window, and my not being able to sleep because of the bright light.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I feel like my feet are nailed to the floor. Trimipramine does that to me. Still the desire was there to do things and I did get a fair bit done. I just have dishes left to do and it is late so they just might wait. I managed one load of laundry and some time in the little green house. I got two more flats of seeds planted. Tiny little seeds that are monotonous to plant with tweezers. I also cooked and froze some more meals for busy times. Friends stopped in and we shared a bottle of wine and talked about putting the plastic on the big green house in a week. I have a six foot high snow bank in front of the wood shed where the stove for the green house is. I'll have to move it. One day at a time. I am in better shape this year than I was last year so things are going easier. If I don't get infection or break a leg it should be a good year.

It is amazing how lack of interest can have such an affect on the physical. Hell I'm even thinking about getting chickens again.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I'm out of it today. I woke with a stomach ache, and my shoulder is still bothering me from last Thursday, when I woke with it being painful. My back is better, though. I want to do so much, but my body wants to rest. it was really cold this morning, and my chest hurt. I know enough not to make decisions when I'm not well. Being hard on myself isn't a good idea when I've been unwell so long.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Another long day. March is going to go out kicking and screaming with snow and cold. That is okay it will give me more time to get ready. There is so much more to do this year. One of my neighbours is planting his green house already. It is 40' x 100'. He has to go down at night and put more wood in the fire. I'm not that dedicated. I will use an electric heater in mine. I won't plant till it stops freezing during the day so I will only have to heat at night. One year I heated with chickens. It was crowded but it worked. I've done some weird things when I needed to.

There is still a lot of snow here, two feet in places. I have flats of seeds started on my table. They will go to my little greenhouse in a week or two depending on the weather.

Today I take my mood stabilizer to keep my Dopamine level up. This is the pill that controls desire. Dopamine is what keeps me interested when I just want to chuck everything and move to town. Of course I will probably sleep in and have a hard time getting mobile tomorrow, but it does that and it is acceptable. Tuesday I have a blood test for my white cell count to see that my chronic infection isn't getting away again. Hard to tell when I'm this tired and sore.

Life goes on as do I and it can be tough, but so am I. Birds are coming back now, I hear them sing. Geese will be back in a bit as soon as the river opens enough for them. Mixed feelings about them since they are so noisy.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Another nice day even if it is cool out. I need to order more cell paks for starting seeds. I think I will order two grape plants too, I used to grow grapes in my green house. Spending a lot of money this year but I can't take it with me so why not have fun with it. I'm almost staying within my budget for my pension, almost, big purchases of a few hundred dollars knock the hell out of that. As for the boat and new fridge, well that is another storey but we need to have some fun in our life.

I imagine some of you are looking forward to the weekend. For me sometimes the whole week is Fridays, sometimes Sundays. Most days start off tough but get better by noon. Life is what I make of it.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Spring is continuing to crawl along. Officially it is here but this far north that doesn't mean much. I still lit the wood stove this morning. It is warmer than the weatherman said it would be and I thank him for his mistake. With mountains close in on both sides of me it is hard to predict the weather. Still I am within my plans and will probably start the very early seeds on the kitchen table tomorrow. I have to test some old seed for germination too and some saved seeds.

So much of what is good in life takes a bit of work but the rewards make it worth while. This year I hope to plant every inch of my garden and have some buckwheat to plant between the rows for a plow down crop for green manure. Some I will harvest for pancakes but most will get tilled under. Organic is more work but the end product is better. I'm going to start some greens and a few carrots in the green house to.

My friend is bringing a juicer so I'll put in way more carrots than I usually do.

Any way it is time to go work if I want to harvest later.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Like the saying goes. Stuff happens, and it happens whether you want it to or not, but that is no reason to bring it on. It appears that I broke my big toe. Not bad but bad enough I was in a lot of pain last night and took a lot of medication.

So today I'm being extra careful because I'm not too with it.

I'm trying to wrestle a bale of peat moss into a raised bed in the little green house. Well I fell down but fell into the nice soft bed. I had a hard time getting back up but wasn't hurt. Just my pride. I don't know what the peat moss weighs but I know it is too much for me. Anyway I tilled it under and the bed looks good.

Getting back to stuff happens, so last night the futility of what I'm trying to do hits me and I start feeling sorry for myself.

Well why not, there is a lot of pain. The pills aren't doing much so that isn't helping.

You want to know how good CBT is. It is good enough that I can let all those thoughts go and go to sleep. It is good enough that this morning there is no memory of the pain and there are no thoughts of futility. Of course it is futile but I'm doing it anyway and I will enjoy the fruits of my labour what ever they are. Mind you this is one of the places that did not need much thought restructuring other than to convince myself that what I'm doing is worth while.

This may be just getting by but it is better than doing nothing. Besides I'm having fun even if I still ache today. Seems odd to look out the green house door and see a foot and a half of snow on the ground and puddles in the driveway.

Spring is coming. Slow but it is coming. But then I am slow too.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

It is really hard to discipline myself to do house work when the sun is shining. But if I go outside then I will be too tired to do the house work later. There isn't much so I'm still hoping to get in the little green house for an hour later. Just stopped for a quick bite to eat and then it is back at it. It is so nice out. Tomorrow I can have the whole day outside.

For all the years that I had panic attacks I can not remember having one while gardening. In the shower, in the stores, in the car and mostly at night but never in the garden. Yet some one could drive into the yard and I'd panic and pop an Ativan. I am so glad that doesn't happen any more. I need to go to the store today too. Need not want, but I want to make spaghetti sauce so I will have to fit it in somewhere. Some days I still don't want to go anywhere.

Davit

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