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Getting by.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I believe in "Just do it". Some times I don't want to but I do anyway. The rush is on now so there is a lot of "just do it".

I watered green houses before breakfast and mowed some lawn. I'll get the rest later. I'm busy but I'm also tired. I'm having a coffee before starting something difficult. The day will go down hill after that. The worst part is it is an exercise in futility. Black berries only survive the winter here if they are laid down and buried so if I don't have time for that they will die. But I do like a challenge. Some times I think I'm an idiot. It will soon be time to plant the garden. Pumpkins need to go out, they have flowers on them. But I haven't built the boxes for them yet.

Coffee is over, time to go back to work.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I tried to register for an online course, and it already seems I have more than I need to do. I also started to spade the garden, and found that it was challenging, given my back being sore. At least gardening relates to doing the porch renovation, since I have to move the flowerbed.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Things take me longer to do now and there is so much to do. I will get the grapes planted but I don't know about the black berries. And right now I don't give a damn. It is hot and it will probably rain again tonight. I'm actually stopping for lunch (at 3:30). Then I have to, yes I said have to, because I don't want to. But I don't want to lose my ability to so I want to. I am not going back to an anxious state for anything. Do I sound pissed today, well good because I am. It will pass. Just so you know I'm normal.

Oh by the way it is a lovely day and things are growing well. Especially the dandelions.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi.

So I went to the store to get an onion for my soup because all mine are gone. The post office is in the store. There were plants and onion sets in the mail. So Blue berries got planted instead of peppers. Today it will be black berries and grapes.

But first I need breakfast and more coffee. I also need to pull up some quack grass from around the big green house before it gets under the plastic. It is going to be a long day. What will be will be.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Well we got home at midnight. To find I had left the key in the ignition on my car when I rolled the windows down and it was raining. Out came the battery charger so I could roll the windows up. Neena flew home today and I miss her good attitude already. She was fun. Oh well she said she plans to come back. Her sister is asleep, it was a long day for her yesterday. Longer for me, but I'm used to that.

I lit a fire in the bigger greenhouse and will move some plants out there as soon as I finish my tea. I've made the stakes to tie the peppers to. Going to make chicken noodle soup today too.

Anxiety disorders take many forms from mild to major with addiction to medication thrown in too. I'm finding that some of the coping skills like dependence on medication and avoidance are making the anxiety worse. I also find people will use any medical excuse to justify their condition so they don't have to deal with it. Neena is right all I can be is a roll model, her sister has to fix it on her own. I can only be an example of how good it can be and how possible it can be.

The problem of course is the same as the one here. If you have never seen me at my worst then you can not believe how bad I was. But I was an addict and now I'm not.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Yesterday was rather hectic and although we forgot the bread in the oven it was still okay. A couple of glasses of wine and good conversation helped. Neena went to the farmers market with me and we met people she knew from her home town. I deserted her and bought the plants I wanted. Petunias and chinese cabbage and talked to a lot of people. We got a coffee and hamburgers and came home. In three hours I will drive her to the big city so she can catch a plane tomorrow.

Not bad for a person who is not social. But it was fun as was figuring out how to use a BBQ yesterday. Tomorrow I settle back to my routine. Tonight I don't have to light a fire in the greenhouse. Just water them.

Right now I have to put bread into pans to replace the slightly burnt stuff from yesterday. So it will be done before our trip to the big city.

"want to" really works to overcome anxiety and not let it rule your life.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

In Canada this is the Victoria Day long week end. It is considered safe to plant after this weekend as long as the full moon has passed. I'm not ready, and nights are still cold. In a couple of days I will build boxes to set out the squash. They need protection from the wind for the first few days. I'm going to till where they go in preparation.

I'm getting sun burnt already. Summer may well be here. This valley is half a zone higher than the surrounding area.

Another late lunch today and it is over so back to work. A lot of watering to do. Right now water is not something I'm short of.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

You know I can't think if anything I really want to say. I'm happy even when in pain. I very seldom find anything to complain about. Yesterday was a bad pain day but I found something to do. I'm sitting here with my coffee slowly going blind from cataracts waiting for a surgery date. And it doesn't bother me. Nothing bothers me, and I haven't gone brain dead. I am enjoying the spring, what I can still see of it. I just have to be careful I don't trip over things. And I had to make this bigger.

It is a fine day and the humming bird feeder is empty so I better go fill it. I'm going to make bread too. And maybe a pie too. Except for watering plants outside is going to get skipped today. Mowing the lawn can wait. Tomorrow is a plant sale I want to go to. I'm starting to think retirement should be like a job, take the weekend off and go fishing. Roast some wieners or something. Pet the cat.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Stopping for lunch and never realized it was this late. It spit a bit but evaporated as soon as it hit the ground. It is very muggy today. My garage has 14 foot walls and a concrete floor so it stays cool even on the hottest days. I'm making room for my friends stuff as it will be coming on a van instead of a U haul. The movers will just want to unload and leave. A few of the bigger pieces will go in the house but the majority goes into the garage. I'll be glad when I can get back to gardening. I couldn't find my small garden trowel. I found it in the stove. It must have been in the pail I collected trashy bits in and got dumped in the stove. I'll have to put a new handle on it. Getting funny in my old age. Last year I sucked up an extension cord with the tiller on the tractor. And I tilled under my potato fork.

I might get the Basil planted later, but first I have to finish the garage.

And I don't want to. I'd rather weed flower beds. There is a bedding plant sale I want to go to this weekend. I want to buy petunias. It is early but they can stay in a green house for a week or more.

Back to work.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Just finishing my second cup of coffee and then I will take my little red wagon and my sawzall and go collect trashy bits of wood for the green house stove tonight. Anyone want to join me. I'm doing it this morning because I have been too tired in the evening and raiding my wood pile instead. Now that is silly because the greenhouse stove burns bigger junkier wood. Even branches and stuff with nails in it. Unless the weather man changes his mind this will be the last cold night for a week. My days have been long and it is catching up. Going out at 11:30 to put more wood in the stove. Morning comes far too soon that way. One of my tractors has a dead battery. I'll put it on charge too. It is going to be hot today so I guess that 2 - 4 period when it is the hottest I can work in the house. Or the Garage. It is situated in such a way and big enough that it is always cool. I do have to make room for a van load of stuff. It should show some time after the week just when it is supposed to rain. I thought I might plant the Basil today too. Going to be in the twenties today, that is seventies. Green house will get hot.

Coffee break is over, no excuse left to not be doing something.

Davit.

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