Moms with grown children - assistance needed
One of my worst fears and worries is my 23 y/o son being 2300 miles away from me and his experiences I can no longer be the mom but a friend.
He's gaining much independence - would rather spend most of his money on rent, etc then still
live with his dad. (He works for his father) He values his sanity more then saving money in this economy. Which is great.
And the phone calls are less, which is fine - no news is good news.
We can talk about anything and he'll ask my opinion. and decide what is the best way for him to handle situations. It's more that he needs someone to bounce off his ideas, think about whatever, and then make decisions. So he's level headed.
So its a combo of my letting go of him the way a mom takes care of a teenager, etc. I understand that part. It's the part of how is he doing, what are his fears, how is he handling life, etc., what are his plans, etc etc, etc.
Today he called to tell me one of his dogs that he takes to work with him got hit by a car and he rushed him to the vet.
And he told me the whole story from start to finish, blah, blah, blah. He'll figure out where he'll get the money from, one worry. I don't have it to help him, doesn't want to borrow from his dad. We're checking out places that might help him pay, and then he'll get insurance for the future.
Second worry - listening to him cry, and tell me how these are his children (he has a female that gave birth to pups a few weeks ago) and tell me how he holds the vision of seeing his dog in pain, and having blood all over him as he carried the dog to the vet. And how his other dog will feel when she doesn't see her mate with my son.And how the vet made him pay $300 up front before taking the dog from him and how he felt abouot how cruel that was to him. Ah, he's seeing and experiencing the world as we as adults experience it. All the bad and good,etc that we see and have to deal with, all the injustices, the way people treat people, and on and on.
So, although I certainly handled this alot better then I would have thanks to my meds and this program (remembered my breathing exercises and self talk) - no panic attack, just anxiety - they way you'd feel if someone you know had to go to the hospital. And worry, concern. But its sitting in my solar plexis. I will do meditation and move the knot out and release it and give it up to the universe to transmute it into healing energy for my son and Rocky.
So moms, if any of you are ahead of me, older children, what phases do we go thru as mothers as our children go thru their changes in life. How do you handle it? What's your thoughts about the role of motherhood.
If your adult child hasn't called you in a week or two, do you call them, or do you feel the child is supposed to call the parent. Things like that.
Well, atleast I got the situation out of my head. Haven't had time before this. And now I'll go meditate.
Thank you, would appreciate responses. Even if you're a dad.
