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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 177

Davit

Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I haven't checked the website for a few days. I like your statement "we are a product from our past". Without some of the experiences I've had, both good and bad, I wouldn't be who I am now. I prefer the person I am now to the persons I've been in the past. I said persons because I have tried to be a lot of things in the past, I guess it's all part of being a teenager and growing up. I'm a lot nicer than i used to be.

Definitely with the sink or swim exposure (funnily enough, I've also heard it referred to as 'flooding'), I would swim straight to the edge of the water, get out and keep running. If someone were to force me to go to lunch in the middle of a crowded restaurant today, I wouldn't last long at all. But I know it's something I will be able to do in the future, as I have before.

It was funny when I broke my arm, the bone I broke is called the humerus! I was 16 at the time and playing the park with my much younger cousins, when I fell 6ft from the top of a slide onto my hand with my arm straight out. At the hospital, they gave me 2 panadeine forte and a nurofen and because I'd never had those pain killers before, I was high as a kite. The high had well and truly worn off before I went to school the next day though haha.

Using a distraction isn't necessarily cheating, it's more like making sure you're well prepared for a test. There are some safety behaviours I use which I can't live without at the moment but I have noticed I rely on them a bit less now. I'm really enjoying going on my outings now, and making a reasonable sized dent in my savings ;)

Same here, I always take a water bottle and a source of sugar with me. I'm not actually diabetic, but if I go for more than 4 hours without eating, my blood sugar drops and I get the shakes and it can get to the stage where I faint. I hate it when my stomach is in knots too.

Aw ouch! I'm glad you at least made it home. It's awful knowing you've done some serious damage. My body instantly went into shock with my arm, I remember walking back to the bench where my family was sitting and I couldn't see anything at all, it was all a blur. As soon as I threw up though, the shock kind of disappeared and the worries started. I'm kind of glad I went into shock though, because I didn't really feel any pain. It was almost like a protection mechanism.

That's the best way to do things I reckon, there's no real point doing a job you don't even enjoy. As Castle says on my favourite TV show, "the trick is to find work that feels like play."

Kaitie.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

kaitie

Some of us really are not cut out to be what we can't. It really is not our fault. It is a product of many things but mostly observations that form core beliefs. We are a product of our past. Every thing is a learned experience. Exposure is a learning experience we can draw on for future situations whether they are the same or only similar. That is how the mind works. So we need coping skills (CBT techniques) to make the exposure a positive experience because as I'm sure you are aware it can go the other way. There are still those who believe in the sink or swim method of exposure. It works but it doesn't last and isn't worth the stress it causes.

Most people with an anxiety disorder perform better under physical stress. It is the pre or post shock that gets them. When there is no distraction and nothing to keep them from thinking negative thoughts.

My Arthritis slows me down is all but thinking about how hard it will be or how hard it was stops me totally so I have to have coping skills to deal with this. This is where the mantra comes in. Both as a distraction and a negative blocker.

Did you know shopping centres put stuff you wouldn't normally buy by the till so when stress of the line up gets to you, you will buy just for the distraction. Any thing to take your mind off where you are. There are cheaper coping skills. One is to imagine every one as different types of dogs. Or naked, depending on your sense of humour. There are many different coping skills that can be used during exposure. This may seem like cheating and lessoning the exposure but remember the object is to stay exposed (no pun intended) for as long as possible. Over time the coping skills become less necessary and you will actually enjoy the exposure. You will have your life back.

I'm one of those people who would rather go to town hungry than have my stomach do flip flops. I take lots of water to dilute stomach acids and sometimes a chocolate bar. I really do not like it when my stomach is in knots.

As for ambulances, this is one of the places where I believe Ativan is okay.

You are young, you have time to be anything you want to be. See there is that word again, "want".

I broke my femur falling off a tractor and all I could think was that it was a stupid way to die. (I lived alone) No stress at all till it was actually time to go home. Then it all came rushing in. All the negative possibilities. It was so stupid, I managed.

Speaking of 9-5 jobs. In my entire life I have only worked full time four years, the rest of the time it was part time with time off to do the things I like, mostly gardening. I'm not sure if people can do that any more. It seems like even in families now both work. Maybe we just want too much. Ive enjoyed gardening for fifty four years, I'm not stopping now.

About avoidance verses not suited, the only way to really know is to try it. I've taken some jobs I really was not suited for and some that surprised me because I was and didn't know it. We all have our place.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 177

Davit,

It is difficult to change it to an I want to if you really don't want to. I guess it comes down to why you don't want to. I mean, I wouldn't go and study a degree in business or law because it's simply not something I enjoy, and a 9-5 office job would never suit me either. But most of the things I've been avoiding is because my anxiety doesn't want me to do those things.

Arthritis would be awful, not only the pain but the swelling and immobility as well. It's great you won't let it get you down. The strange thing for me is that when I actually am injured, I feel even more determined. About 18 months ago, I broke my arm at the base of the shoulder joint. It was my left arm, and I'm left-handed but I insisted on doing everything myself. It took me 15 minutes to put a lid on a container at school! Yet anything to do with my stomach almost paralyses me with fear. The mind is funny like that.

Definitely, I've done all the exposure before but I've found doing the CBT on this site a bit of a struggle because I've never done it before. In overcoming anxiety, you can't do one without the other. In the past I've only been doing one and it only keeps the anxiety at bay for a while until the stress becomes too much again. For so long I believed that it was because I was weak and I punished myself for not being strong enough to "control" my anxiety. Since I started filling out my Challenge Forms, I've found the exposure so much easier. The change is unbelievable. When I'm worried about a situation, I challenge all the thoughts and worries I usually have. It puts things in perspective.

Kaitie.

P.S. I've never been in an ambulance, but I know that the whole fast-paced panic of those in the ambulance (the paramedics, patient, family members) would make me feel anxious and claustrophobic.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Kaitie

I've been there too. I used to work in my garden before going to town. The combination of increased blood flow and distraction worked somewhat. But still it was an "I have to" instead of an "I want to".

I'm crippled with Arthritis so my whole life is "I have to". It was interfering with every thing I did outside of my safe circle and my circle was getting smaller. At one point I decided I didn't want to live this way. That is the key. I want to be better bad enough to change this "I have to" to "I want to" (even if I don't) So every time I think that I have to do something I just change it to I want to because I will not live with that sort of negative controlling me. The battle is not easy because not wanting to do something is pretty strong but after a few successes it gets better.

Exposure isn't a cure it is a test of a cure. Over time exposure will build a tolerance but without coping skills it will come back if not used constantly. "I want to" and other positives like "this is my choice" are coping skills. It is your choice to do something you don't want to do. It is your choice to do anything. Or not for that matter. Which will it be?

Davit

Ps. I know a nurse who gets physically sick in ambulances, but only when the trip is over and there is nothing to distract her. It doesn't stop her from doing her job because she wants to do it. Distractions works for her. Ambulances are pretty crowded if you are not out of it.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 177

Vincenza,

Yeah I have been doing exposure and this isn't my first time being housebound from the anxiety so I've done this before on a few occasions. Each time seems to be slightly different. In the past, I've never actually been sick, just worried about it, but this time I have actually had recurrent and ongoing digestive problems. I've found being active helps so I've been cleaning and organizing the house, gardening (my Japanese Maple has leaves now!) and spending more time with my pets.

Davit,

I do feel worse when I know I have to do something, it somehow feels like a punishment. Distractions do help, I'll try looking at the floor but if it doesn't work, I'll look at everything around me. The hardest part is re-learning that it's safe but once I get past that point it'll be okay :)

Kaitie.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Kaitie

I'm going to stick my neck out because I know this works. With Agoraphobia, it is a simple matter of overcoming the fear that says "I don't want to be here" (never mind that it is safe your mind is saying still "I don't want to be here") By saying and believing it, "I am here because I want to be". Start with a mantra and some distractions to block the "I don't want to be here". Looking at the floor works and most people will just think you are thinking about something. This works very well for that panic that blocks all thought and causes tunnel vision.

I am here because I want to be.

I am doing this because I want to.

Never say "I am here because I have to be" Never. That will make it worse.

After it works a few times add " This will pass, it always does"

You are a smart person, you can think of other positive things to use also.

Davit.

Ps. This can take your mind off not feeling well physically. Not always totally but enough to help.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi kaitie995,

It sounds like you've tried some exposure work. There is a section in the Program on Exposure Work. Have you had a chance to look at the suggestions offered there? It may help you revisit extending your safe zones and gain more insight on fears surrounding spaces that cause you anxiety.

On a slightly different note, what can you do to help you feel your best self physically? What kind of activities do you enjoy?

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 177

I find it harder if I'm not feeling 100% physically. The thing that's the hardest for me to overcome, and for others to understand, is that it's hard for me just being outside my safe zone (home). I know going to the shopping centre, for a drive, or to a friend's house is completely safe but just being there is what makes me anxious. In the past, I've tried extending my safe zone to my car, and even to myself as the safe zone, but have had little success.

Kaitie.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Are you finding some situations harder to challenge than others? Are there harder days to challenge, than others? How did you cope and get passed this mountain?

A good idea is to take a look at your mood tracker again and pinpoint which times or, places are most difficult to challenge. Be ready for the following week armed with this information and take a look at your activity schedule work sheet and your treatment plan worksheet to help guide you.

Share your ideas and with us and let us learn from you and your experience.

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