Hi Feliciaxann,
With panic disorder, I feel that different people tend to focus on different symptoms associated with the anxiety depending on what it is they are afraid of. Someone who's afraid of having a heart attack will focus on their racing heart convinced they are having a heart attack, a person afraid of losing control might focus on how their mind seems 'foggy' or their rapid thoughts. You've identified your main fear is of dying, so what symptoms do you focus on and why? You've mentioned the side pain, why does this worry you so much?
I've found that to be the most useful way of finding out more about your anxiety, ask yourself questions. For example, I know I wash my hands a lot, sometimes twice in a row, because I'm afraid of getting a virus which may cause vomiting. Even something as small as that is a way of challenging the anxiety, being able to identify when the anxiety controls your actions means you can gain that control yourself. :)
We all have our struggles on here, some we choose to share and others we don't. Like you, I have trouble leaving the house but small steps are big steps. Almost everyday, I make sure I go out for half an hour at least. It might only be to the chemist, or to buy a magazine from the newsagent but it doesn't matter. :)
Keep posting on here Feliciaxann, and never give up!
Kaitie.
