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My grand-mother...

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Well, my grandma is in a coma now. We don'tr know how long it will be. But I hear the doctors and nurses are taking really good care of her and making sure she has no pain. I feel bad that I did not go up there in time to say goodbye, it is an 8 hour drive away... But my mom gave her my love and she says my grandma smiled. I am pretty sure she is nearing the end now. I am just glad that the doctor is keeping her comfortable. Anyway, thank you to all of you for your support. And thanks for the tips on how to challenge my anxious thoughts surrounding this. -Diva

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Diva I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. But Danielle is right, HOPE is never a bad thing. I have no suggestions on how to deal with your current situation, or words of wisdom on how to make it through, but I agree with Lorlee. You are always the first one there for us when we need an ear to listen to us. And you always have the best encouragment when I'm feeling low. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8760

Diva, You are neither. Nothing wrong with a little hope! Keep hanging in there and let us know how you're doing. Danielle ____________________ The PC Support Team

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Thank you very much Danielle for your words of comfort and advice. I think I just realized I feel the way I do because I keep thinking somehow she will get better and come out of the hospital. Must be in the whole denial thing. The fact is the doctors know she is getting weak and estimate she is dying, they just don't know how long she will hold on. So I keep thinking what if she gets better? Am I in denial or overly optimistic? Anyway, as for the tips for challenging my anxieties and thoughts about mortality, thank you very much, I intend to try and apply them all as much as possible! -Diva

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8760

Diva, We are sorry to hear of your loss. Our sincerest condolescences to you & your family. Just as Lorlee said, this may be your way of coping and it may be that it just hasn't sunk in. Remember, grief has 5 steps: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance. It may be helpful for you to challenge your thoughts by reminding yourself of the here and now. Ex: I am healthy Other members have also found comfort in spiritual beliefs or by acceptance. It may also be helpful to you to shift your focus entirely by thinking about future goals and aspirations. Hope this helps. Danielle _____________________ The PC Support Team

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Thank you very much Lorlee. Everything you said means a lot to me and thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. -Diva

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 165

Diva, I just want to say how sorry I am that you and your family are going through this difficult time right now. I was thinking that maybe why you are feeling the way you are is just your way of coping. I also have a hard time when people around me are sick or ready to pass away and I start to think of mine and others mortality. People like us who spend alot of our time worrying about health issues and life-threatening illnessess are already on overload that when the real thing hits us between the eyes we just close off sometimes. We do what we need to so that we can cope. There is nothing wrong with that. Or perhaps you understand that your Grandma has lived a good long life and is ready to finish this chapter of her life. I was not overly sad when my Grandma passed away as she had livd a long time and was tired and worn out. I wanted her to be able to rest. She was a woman with great faith and I guess I just knew should we be ok. I don't know what your beliefs are but I find praying helps me quite abit. I also believe that death is not the end for us and I will see my loved ones again so that helps me to cope with my loss. I think it is so important for you to be kind to yourself. You have been through so much with this disorder and do not need to beat up on yourself because you think you are not acting in the right way in this situation Diva. I see how wonderfully compassionate you are with all of us. You are always the first to respond to the threads and offer words of encouragement and hope to all of us. You applaud when we face our fears and do our exposure work, and lend an ear when we are feeling overwhelmed by our fears. I'm not sure that anything I am saying really helps but I just wanted you to know that I am so glad to have a person like you on this site. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. :)

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

My grand-mother is in the hospital. She is dying. She is over 80 and had had a good life I believe. First I feel really sad for my mom. And I feel really sad for my aunts and uncles. The weird thing is I feel guilty because I feel I should be more sad for myself. Like I should be sadder somehow, because I do love her. I am not sure why I have this funny lack of sadness for my own loss. Is it because she lived so far and I rarely saw her? Is it because it hasn`t hit me yet? I wish I knew, i feel guilty and heartless. Second, this has got me thinking about death and mortality. Not just my own but that of my loved ones. That makes me anxious. I usually try to avois that line of thought.I am glad my therapist appointment is less then 2 weeks away. Until then I will do my best to challenge my thoughts. Third, If anyone has any tricks, suggestions or ideas about where and how to start challenging these ideas please let me know, I am trying but I feel a bit at a loss. Thanks -Diva

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My grand-mother...