I stopped taking my medication 4 weeks ago, without weening myself off as you are supposed to do. I was finding the drugs merry-go-round frightening. I put on masses of weight in tyhe year and a half that I was on them. I'd tried Lustral, Effexor Cipralex and finally Cipralex and Dothiepin in combination, with tamazepam to help with the associated insomnia. It was hell coming off but now I don't feel more or less depressed than I did before. Have noticed that my moods can be very bad (wondering if it would be easier not to carry on) but that they don't perist much beyond a few days.
Just wanted to know if anyone had been able to successfully manage their depression after ceasing medication or if it's inevitable that you end up back on the pills.
Thanks for replying.
I think it was a rash decision after gaining so much weight that my preiods stopped. I got panicky, it didn't help that by the time I came off I was down to waking up on the hour (if I was lucky). It started to feel like I was just chasing side-effects brought on by the meds with more drugs. In addition to the insomnia and weight gain, I also now have pretty bad irritable bowel syndrome. Just felt I needed to take control back. Wondered if maybe the key for me was to stop trying to suppress the moods with medication and try to find practical ways of working through them. I'm not proud though. If I start to seriously unravel, I'll go back to the doctor.
I do worry that if I don't find a way to manage the depression long term, I'll wake up one day and just reckon it's better to just stop being. I'm trying to not over-think, or o spend to much time looking into the future as the fear of being alone forver is terrifying for me.
My mood is ok today. I'm making a conscious effort following the advice of my counsellor to fil my time and accept invitations out to things, even if I don't want to go, so that I'm not sitting around contemplating just how crappy my life is. Finding this very hard.
My head is clearer since coming off the tablets, though that could just be becaues I am sleeping better.
Hi JB,
Thanks for replying. I've been struggling lately so hadn't checked the site until today. I will see how things go. I am resisting going back on the drugs as my IBS has been settling down and I've gone back to getting a pretty decent night's sleep. People were starting to comment that I was seeming very agitated when I decided to come off the tablets, no one has said that since. I know I'm not well though as the same thoughts that always depress me stil do. I'm not sure if this is any better than the tablets but myabe its useful to experience the emotions and deal with them than to just supress them.
If I go back to the Dr I'll end up taking more pills and getting back on the drug carousel again. Not sure what to do, it all seems a bit too difficult at the moment. I'm trying to remind myself that the moods do lift eventually.
My period of counselling is coming to an end as well and the practical advice to keep a track on my behaviour, fill my time and find interests and hobbies is fine for now, maybe even for a few months, but it doesn't stop me looking into the future without hope. Most of the time I feel I may not ever get a chance of having a normal life. Maybe the trick is to try to not think about more than today? :confuse:
Hi JB
I'm not too bad at the moment. My mood has bene dipping but it's still manageable. I've added you to my CBT buddies list do wil certainly get in touch.
Thanks for your kind words
I've been managing my depression without medication for the last few months. The things that help are trying to keep track of how I'm feeling / eating / sleeping etc., day to day, so I don't completely fall into the blackhole. I've found that taking regular exercise - about 4hours CV a week really helps. If my mood's persistently bad, I'll put in a extra long session in the evening as that's when i struggle most. I try to make sure I have a regular bedtime routine and force myself to eat a proper cooked meal at least 4 times a week.
If I've not had social - non-work - contact for more than 3-4 days, the isolation starts to really get me down, I make a real effort to fight the impulse to be anti-social and phone a friend or meet one for coffee. I will also do the opposite of what I feel at these times and accept offers to go out. If none of these are available, I'll go for a walk into town - preferrably in the sun, or even go to the cinema. If things are very bad I will pour it all out into a journal or email The Samaritans to try to put my bad thoughts into perspective.
I'm worried about how this will work through the darker months but fingers crossed, I'll manage during this toughest time of year. I don't know how useful any of this was but thought I'd post what helps take the edge off my lows. These things don't make me feel fantastic but stop me feeling desperate.
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