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Alcoholic vs Problem Drinker

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 69

Heavy drinker v alcoholic , it definetly comes down to labling. Aheavy drinker may not always be looked apon as a person with emotional problems, drinks hard but has control over it , which may imply to others that they also have control of thier life and mental well being, when they drink they can come across as confident and fun loving, and therefore more excepted by others. But if some one who drinks just as hard and " cries over their beer" and makes people around him/her feel bad, mad or sad then their an alcoholic that needs to be avoided becuase they ruin a good time and you don't want to be asociated with and are shund. One of my biggest concerns about quiting the drink was not being confident on how I was going to deal with the yesterdays problems today and todays problems tomorrow. The dry drunk ( I hadn't heard that term before) stage (if I can call it that) is what I'am dealing with or excepting that I have to deal with now.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

I've often considered the Alcoholic vs the Problem Drinker. I've met many people during the past few years since I started this journey and everyone seems to be a Problem Drinker that comes to this site. Alcoholic? Well, some are. Some do become obsessed with alcohol and the feeling it provides them and they go, go, go until it becomes unmanageable. Yet, if we take away the alcohol what are we left with? (and this goes for both categories). We're left with the drivers that pushed us to the point of excessive drinking. The alcohol had become a tool to deal with the pre-existing problems to manage the anxiety and trauma we're trying to deal with. And those problems and trauma's DO pile up. We need to deal with THOSE challenges to truly recover. Remove those drivers and is the need to drink excessively still there? I would say Yes it is for some. For the majority of others, No. Only you can decide however one has to deal with the complete picture and not just remove the coping mechanism (alcohol or drugs) because those underlying problems that precipitated the problem in the first place will still be in place, and eventually they will rear their ugly heads and we come full circle, whether it is alcohol or the addictive behaviour is replaced by some other addictive behaviour. Agree with me or not, I respect your opinion. Just look up the term "Dry Drunk", as there are many inside and out of AA and you'll see a person that never dealt with the drivers of their problem.

All the best,

Dave848

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

For me the problem was I couldn't stay stopped. Every time I put down the drink, the internal un-manageability will pile up and few days, months later, my mind would say "after all you have been sober so many days.... you are not an alcoholic, you should be able to handle 1 or 2 safely". Then I would succumb to that desire and again get sucked into the vicious cycle. Problem drinker with some mild therapy, pills may stay sober and enjoy their life.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 69

On the topic of Alcoholic v the heavy drinker. this was the first time i think i had actually read a definition of the two. I have to admit that I am an alcoholic heavy drinking, living in fear of not having enough to get through the day, bottles stashed around the house, waking up in a panic because i couldn't remeber where I had hid one or two, constantly sneeking drings throughout the day or evening ect ect. I grew up in a small mining town, my older brothers and evveryone in their age group drank, most of them heavily. It was a way of life that any where they went you always took a case of beer or it was offered immidently whether it be AM or PM , and they would drink throughout the day (when not working). Their freinds might drop by and get out of their truck with an open beer in hand carry in a case of beer and hangout all day drinking , If they ran out they would get more. Then at one point i heard them talking about a friend, they were worried about, he , they figured was an alcoholic, every time he drank he would go till he passed out and someone would have to carry him home .So I grew up in a culture that it was okay and normal to drink all of the time just don't passout and I have to admit ,I carried that folosify of life through most of my adulthood. I would drink hard and all the time ,but make sure I did not pass out , Until I got home , and I would not be considered an alcoholic.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Penny55,

We all have our negative relationship with alcohol here so you've come to the right place. The important thing is you recognize it and your taking positive steps to resolve it. This site is a great place to start and you'll get lots of support if you post your thoughts and stick with it. Here is an interesting read:

https://rational.org/index.php?id=1

Also, check this one out as well:

http://www.smartrecovery.org/intro/

Stay in touch and welcome to a better life! We're all here to help.

All the best,

Dave848

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hello to all of you in this forum. I am new here as of today and I am less than one day sober and could use your support. Unfortunately my relationship with wine is having a negative effect on my relationship with myself and I find my self-loathing is becoming all consuming. Ive been drinking wine heavily for many many years and I would like to never want another drink. I know that is not likely to happen so cold-turkey is going to have to be my approach. I welcome any suggestions for success

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 69

J A is right in knowing for yourself what is to much, you don't have to be a slobbering drunk to know you have a problem, but without recognition of having a problem at all one can end up being that slobbering drunk over time. I m no doctor but I do know from experience that if you consume more alcohol each time you drink you can end up devouring alot of booze in a very short time and still consider yourself sober, then drink more to get drunk then blackout. It can be a snowball effect of quantity and frequency. I would buy a bottle to closet drink, that bottle would last 3days or more then the next bottle maybe the same, but the next bottle was gone by day 2 then the next bottle maybe gone the first day or very little left in it. Then I would take a break for a day or 2 and it would start all over again, and that was just my closet drinking it does not include what I was drinking socailably. The biggest battle you have is with yourself so that's who you should listen to decide what is to much. And about filling the void even writing here fills a void, I put on addiction videos on line while I am puttering about the house educating yourself on what addiction and alcoholism is can make you feel at ease that nothing is really wrong with you your only human

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 24

Hello everyone,

I do hope you are doing well and doing your best to stay sober, or cutting back. I have not been here in over a month and found that I must check back in. I'm 8 days shy of 90 days sober. Something I'm amazed that I've accomplished. Never thought I could do life without a drink. However, I'm so thankful that I've got control over my addiction to alcohol. Now I'm living life the way the way I want!!!

I'd like to address something to Jessmess...I know that when I was thinking about quitting, and newly sober, I too, was always trying to figure out if I drank more or less than other. There were many who drank more than I did, and I'm sure there are many who drank less. I came to the conclusion that it really did not matter how much others

drank- only that I knew how much I was drinking was too much for me. In retrospect, hearing that I did not drink as much as others only made me stay in denial longer.

In my opinion I don't think it matters how much one drinks, if you think you have a problem, you do. If you think you should quit drinking, you should. The trick is doing what works for you to accomplish your goals.

Things that work for me:

Attend AA meetings. I love the discussions and getting recognized (receiving a coin) for days sober.

Investigative reading. Drink: the intimate relationship between women and alcohol by Ann Dowsett Johnston was a real eye opener. The Science of Drinking - how alcohol affects your body and mind by Amitav Dasgupta.

Currently I'm reading - Blackout-Remembering The Things I Drank To Forget by Sarah Hepola. What a hoot! All are available at the public library.

Prayer, asking God to remove my desire for alcohol took boulders off my shoulders.

My best,

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Yes, Jess, thats exactly what we are talking about. That peculiar mental twist around the first drink that prevents the normal functioning of the will power. Certain people, as they go along get blind sighted. And that great feeling of sense of ease and comfort taking just a drink or two sounds so good that they succumb to it. After that its over.

The physical craving takes over. We end up in black outs. We have to stay alert. Deep down we need to be convinced we can't consume alcohol anymore. That the fist step in recovery and then we take action.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Thanks Julie.

I think I've been reaching out here with the hope of hearing from others that maybe my drinking isn't that bad...even though I know better. Good for you for realizing and starting to control it. I'm having too much trouble saying goodbye to my best friend. I just can't imagine life without being numbed by it. It's soothing to me. Things are out of control but sometimes they feel like maybe drinking is ok and manageable.

Anyways...hoping for better days tomorrow as usual.

Thanks for your response.

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Alcoholic vs Problem Drinker