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stress is working on me; so many smoking thoughts

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stress is working on me; so many smoking thoughts

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

Hi DL,

It is amazing that you should say that about the morphine. They wanted to shot him full of morphine before they attempted to clean up his road rash wounds, and my son would not let them give it to him...and one of his wounds was so deep the fat underneath his skin was popping out!...ugh...It was scary. I am still dealing with the aftermath of that night..some cravings and thoughts to smoke. But, I can not go back to that slavery. That is what I picture when I get those "I can have just one cig" thoughts. I am with Lady, I do not know if I would have the strength to quit again. It was such an ordeal for me. I am free of nicotine now and that is how I want to keep it! Thanks all. My son is doing okay.

new me

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/26/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 417
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 10,425
Amount Saved: $2,606.25
Life Gained:
Days: 58 Hrs: 3 Mins: 41 Seconds: 54

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Well done, New Me! Well fought and well defended (your quit!)!!

My experience with opioids after battling the addiction to them is that one is grateful for the analgesic affect and the whole "get stoned" mind-set is not an issue during the battle against pain. The faster he can deal with a tolerable degree of pain-discomfort the better... I hope he "fears" the morphine affect the way he must have done when he beat it the last time!?

Patrick

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/18/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 179
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,475
Amount Saved: $2,013.75
Life Gained:
Days: 33 Hrs: 7 Mins: 29 Seconds: 4

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

new me,

I am glad to hear that it is getting better. It seems that you are going through a lot right now, but you are a strong person and I know you will get through it, and I know that you will remain smoke free!

We are here to listen, help, and support you along the way. Keep up the great work, you are doing such a good job

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

Hi all,

thanks deep for the insight.I am enjoying the meetings and have met some great people, learned about my son's behavior, how to detach myself and what I can do to help, without enabling him. So, here I am again, just returning from the hospital. My son got in a motorcycle accident. (he was clean). Thankfully, the other party was at fault and got ticketed. But, my son broke his ankle and got scraped up pretty badly. He is on crutches and got a prescription for pain killers. We got in a small argument about that at the hospital. I am fearful that it will be a gateway back to heroin, but, for now, he seems committed to staying sober. Tonight he was supposed to attend his first HA meeting, but the accident prevented that from happening. Why does my mind go to smoking? I have wanted to smoke a cigarette all night, sitting at the hospital, coming home in the car, making food for him and his dad..I just wanted a smoke. I feel so restless, that awful nag. Not knowing what to do with myself, so I do nothing. I am having a glass of wine and going to watch tv in bed..what a day. I am thankful that I can come here and write about what I am feeling. Another day, a very stressful day, without nicotine. It is getting better.

new me

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/26/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 413
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 10,325
Amount Saved: $2,581.25
Life Gained:
Days: 57 Hrs: 13 Mins: 9 Seconds: 4

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

thank you so much ICL. That means alot to me..hopefully one day my son will say something along those lines to me. You are approaching your one month smoke free anniversary...that is a big one. You have now proven to yourself that you can live without cigarettes..all the nicotine is out of your body. From here on out, it is that pesky mind! those pesky triggers! I am so pulling for you ICL. Get this poisonous, nasty addiction out of your life while you are still young..no smoking wrinkles in your future, no greyish skin, yellow toenails, yellow teeth, wheezing lungs, or smelly hair and breath. YOU CHOOSE not to smoke; YOU CHOOSE life.

new me

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/26/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 396
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 9,900
Amount Saved: $2,475.00
Life Gained:
Days: 55 Hrs: 4 Mins: 4 Seconds: 10

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 127

Hi new me, I just wanted to let you know that you seem like a wonderful mother
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/26/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 28
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 644
Amount Saved: �243.11
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 21 Mins: 18 Seconds: 39

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

Hi sylvia,

I went to a support group on saturday for people with drug addicted family members. I learned alot, gained some hope; but also some fears..one couple's son died from smoking heroin. My son is camping with his dad for the next four days. His dad will have plently of opportunity to talk with him, and my son will have alot of time to think about his life. I have let it go and just pray, and believe for the best. I will do my best to love him and encourage him; but i cannot enable him. But, I was still getting some strong cravings. I found a 7 day supply of Chantix that I had left over and took one of them yesterday...none today. This situation with my son had me troubled to the point where I was having alot of trouble sleeping. I am wiped out today. I did not think of cigs hardly at all today. I think that it is starting to let up a little since I went to that meeting. I am going to collapse in bed. Thanks for the support. This website has been a great element in me being able to overcome my addiction.

new me

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/26/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 394
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 9,850
Amount Saved: $2,462.50
Life Gained:
Days: 54 Hrs: 21 Mins: 16 Seconds: 32

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1288

New Me,

It can be really difficult trying to understand addiction and people suffering from addiction. You've got an idea knowing how it is to be addicted to cigarettes. This may be a good time to speak with a professional in the field of drug addiction. We really want to see you succeed, take time out for yourself, and keep persevering!

Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

Hi ICL,

Your thoughts were so encouraging. My son has been verbally abusive to me since I can remember. I think the first time he called me the "B" word, he was 11 years old. My son will be 22 next month..you are 24 and an employment law consultant (I would be very proud if I was your mom too!). And, my son also has a drug problem for which he refuses to get help. We took him to a drug counsellor twice in the past year; but he refuses to take their advice or enter a program. He has been saying that he can do it on his own for the last two years. The longest he has stayed clean was about 4 months. He always goes back to it. I have really tried to relate to him and talk to him; letting him know that I know what he is going through because of my addiction to nicotine. He scoofs in my face "nicotine is nothing". He calls me "an idiot". He thinks that I have nothing to teach him. It is heartbreaking for me. We kicked him out of the house 2 weeks ago because he used again and once again refused to get help. He is mooching off some buddies, but they are now getting sick of him doing nothing. He says that he is looking for a job. (I counted them up. He has had 22 jobs since he was 16). It is so hard when it is your son, your baby. I will probably join a support group for people with drug addict relatives. Now you know why I have been having such mental cravings to smoke. I pray for him everyday. ..that he makes it through and can be happy and enjoy his life. He is a smart, handsome, kid. I do not know why he is so unhappy.

new me

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/26/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 388
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 9,700
Amount Saved: $2,425.00
Life Gained:
Days: 54 Hrs: 2 Mins: 43 Seconds: 31

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 127

Hey new me! I can relate! I used to fight with my mom so bad! I said the most horrible things to her and for a time I really wanted her to feel bad. I went out of my way to make her life hell because she had done something to hurt me (which wasn't that big a deal looking back now but at the time- in my teenage years, it consumed me!). She tried to write me a letter, I ignored her. At christmas, she gave me a beautiful card with a verse in it that really touched me. She saw me read it, I glanced at her, threw my eyes up to heaven and just dropped the card on the floor. My aunt later told me that she had spent over two hours in the card shop looking for something special and that she had cried when she read that passage.

The strange part was that it made me feel bad being so cruel to her but I never let on. I didn't work, I barely went to school, it looked like I was on the road to nowhere and I would say it broke her heart.

She never gave out to me for treating her so badly, not one single time. It was 2 years that I wasted, behaving like an idiot. She knew that she couldn't bring me round and that giving out to me was a complete waste of time. Although she admitted later on that it was excruciating, she had to step back and let me make my own decisions and hope that she had raised me well and as I said, I wasted 2 years being a complete bum and just taking and taking.

Then I grew up! I don't know what changed, nothing drastic happened. I think I cooked dinner one night and then it was a truce. Neither of us mentioned it for a long time and when I got up the courage to apologise, she forgave me 100% per cent and didn't have any digs at me which must have taken a lot of self control!

The point is, I was unhappy, about what I don't know! And for no reason, apart from the fact that she was there, I took it out on my mom and made her the target for my hatred, bitterness and anger for 2 years. It had nothing to do with her, it was all my own problems and issues that I had to deal with. That feels like another life now.

Your son could just be going through his own rough patch at the moment and although he is making your life hell, it doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you. Remember, we always hurt the ones we love and the people closest to us. Just give him some space if you can, it will be helpful to you as well not to let yourself get into the middle. My mom just let me know that she was there for me, whenever i needed her and that she loved me. She didn't ever tell me how I made her feel, she didn't need to, she knew that I was sorry and that if I could go back and change time, I would never hurt her like that again.

What Rusty is saying is right, don't chase him. Stay in your circle, calm and focused. You are there when he needs you, and he will come to you.

Kids are hell yeah! I don't think I want any!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/26/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 20
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 460
Amount Saved: �173.65
Life Gained:
Days: 1 Hrs: 8 Mins: 53 Seconds: 2

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stress is working on me; so many smoking thoughts