[...] I do not like the spiritual aspect but i appreciate your suggestion
For me the spiritual aspect was simply put, being honest and sincerely making an effort to change. If we go back to the origin of AA, many members had difficulty with the god concept and that was the reason they phrases like "God of our understanding" or higher power. Some just use the inner voice, the one who warns us that what we are doing is wrong but we do it anyways. Some call it conscience.
So this weekend was supposed to be low key. I am trying to do more hobbies and with that be more social. My husband and I decided to get a baby sitter and spend time with friends. Of course alcohol was involved. I was only going to have one drink but I ended up having a lot more and being hungover the next day. I rationalized that I needed alcohol to be social and I am trying to change my thinking but it is hard. I feel like I am so quiet and socially anxious when I am not drinking. Alcohol actually does work as a social lubricant. I am a happy social butterfly when drinking. When I am not drinking I feel like I just don't have the social energy and I over think everything I say. I can't imagine being at a social event without alcohol. Does anyone have some advice on how to change this thinking? I would love to hear from anyone but especially from people who used alcohol as a social crutch.