Hi Petruchki,
Your dilema is common and dispite any labels that anyone would ever give, you are stronger than most. I believe anyone that really puts their mind to it can make it through hell week, heck week, etc. I think it takes more strength to fail and keep on putting yourself through hell week over and over again than to succeed the first time. I did the same thing many times and I know it's not fun.
You can quit, you can make it through the withdrawl but your problem is not coffee, water, straws, etc you can do that to help get you through, but what happens when your through? You still want it. I know you really want to quit as did I. I remember driving down the road smoking my last cigarette throwing down the pack and talking to myself explaining how it's negatively affecting my life, health, financial situation, etc and then pulling into a parking lot and going into the store to buy my next pack. I remember throwing 3/4 of a pack out the window cause "That's it I'm done" and then buying a new pack the next morning. I would last for days, weeks, months and then I would have a fight or stress out over a problem at work or life and go back and I knew no one would ever call me on it. I mean c'mon who's going to argue with a rabid nicotine deprived person like me. Not anyone I knew anyways. So I continued to smoke and everyone either bought or pretended to buy what I was selling but how did that help me? It didn't and it never will.
Quitting ain't easy that's for sure.
I could give you advice on how to make it through the hard part of the quit but I don't think that's your peticular problem. I think you are a strong person and I think. I would recommend reading "Allen Carr's - The easyway to quit smoking." It'll help with that part of the quit.
"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
If you have the illusion that hell looks like heaven will you ever be free?
Mr Q
My Milage:My Quit Date: 8/4/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 135
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,240
Amount Saved: $1,012.50
Life Gained:Days: 14
Hrs: 12
Mins: 6
Seconds: 49