I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Would you like to share more?
If you are thinking of harming yourself now please call 911.
If you are not at immediate risk but you have thoughts of harming yourself please reach out. Call the Canada Suicide Prevention Service at 1-833-456-4566 (24/7) or text 45645. They offer free and confidential service. They offer services in Fench and English.
If you are in the United States please call 988 for free, confidential and 24/7 support.
If you are located outside of Canada please see this list of local option: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
You do not have to deal with these feelings alone. You are not alone.