Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Addiction

Lynn123

2024-03-27 3:02 PM

Managing Drinking Community

logo

New Year's Resolutions

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-03-25 2:47 AM

Managing Drinking Community

logo

Water

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-03-17 5:24 PM

Healthy Weight Community

logo

What motivates you?

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-03-10 10:30 PM

Quit Smoking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

DM555 3 3

Browse through 411.742 posts in 47.053 threads.

160,431 Members

Please welcome our newest members: Jgorilla, anna13, CCaballero, JJAY EVANGEL, VKATE DARLENE

Rebuilding Self Esteem


11 years ago 0 22 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well my schedule revolves around going to school, work and home. I rarely go out so for me, it hasn't been hard to distance myself from people. Through social media and my phone I often had people trying to reach out to me but I made excuses a lot such as needing to do school work and I am 'too busy" to see them right now. I actually just ended my friendship with someone yesterday. I told the person that they were way too negative for me to keep in my life. While it hurt at first, I know that I need to surround myself with positive people who support me and my decisions. That's what helps me to distance myself from those who are negative.    
11 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Robyn,
 
It can be really hurtful when people you care about don't understand depression. You are absolutely right about stigma; many people are ignorant about what depression is and how to help. In most cases when people say hurtful things they may just be frustrated as they don't know how to help.
 
Next time someone seems to be ignorant of depression you may want to direct them to this site for them to understand the extensive therapy required to treat Depression. Explain to them that you need  someone to listen to you and not someone to tell you what to do as you already are working on getting better and it's a lot of work.
 
Other people can certainly effect our self esteem with hurtful comments. Getting to a place where other people's comments do not effect your self worth is ideal but it can be hard to do. First know that no one has power over your feelings but you (unless abuse is involved). It sounds like you have done a good job of distancing yourself from people who can be hurtful. How were you able to do that?
 
 
 

 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
11 years ago 0 22 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Vincenza,
 
I have yelled, cried and said that my thoughts aren't stupid. I'll ignore my loved ones and have pushed quite a few away and will speak to them when I feel my depression lift. I have tried to constantly explain what I am going through but because of the stigma around depression, people just don't understand. My partner and counsellor are the only supportive people in my life right now and that's okay right now.   
11 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Robyn,
 
I can imagine it is difficult to reach out to loved ones for support when they don't understand what it is like to suffer depression.  I'm glad you found the DC community to share your thoughts and experiences.  It is important to be able to reach out to others for help when you need it.  
How have you responded when people have told you to "get rid of the stupid thoughts"? 
What kind of support would you like to hear or receive from those you reach out to?
 

Vincenza, Health Educator
11 years ago 0 22 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The thing about people in my life is that they probably aren't being negative on purpose. Since I was young my mom has always said harsh things to put to me down and when I tell her what she's done wrong she'll apologize but won't change the way she speaks to me. Unfortunately, I have had low self-esteem from a very young age. My stepfather was also the type of person to ignore me a lot and constantly ask why I wasn't doing better in school. Even if I only had one question wrong on a test, he'd ask me why I didn't get a perfect grade. As positives they raised me, support my career path and always help me out financially if they can.
 
It is confusing to know who I can reach out to because once I tell a friend or relative that I have depression they tell me to get rid of my "stupid thoughts" so that I can get better. So I would say that even the people who have played an important role in my life have also brought down my self-esteem at one point.   
11 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
as an illness, addiction or other left your self-esteem in the gutter? In the weeks to come, we will be exploring various strategies to help rebuild your self-esteem:

What is self-esteem?
The level of self-esteem you have is gained via reactions important people have had to you throughout your life. Starting off with your parents, it is further shaped by your siblings, superiors, friends and significant others. One primary factor in the development of self-esteem involved the positive or negative reinforcement or messages you receive from these people.

Before we can begin rebuilding, we encourage you to take make a list of the people in your life who have played an important role in your life. Were they supportive or negative forces in your life? What did they do for your self-esteem?
 
Ashley, Health Educator

Reading this thread: