I do thank you for your kind words and I find your perseverance encouraging.
'Action before motivation' : I'm not usually big on slogans but I like that one. I'll try and remember it.
I won't be negative here or hide behind false modesty - I'm well aware that I have some ability (I don't really like the word 'talent' even though I myself used it before) as far as written English is concerned which I attribute to a good education and fairly wide reading habits. My writing has been praised by a number of people and I've had a few short stories and poems published in small magazines and websites.As to whether I could ever write anything fit for 'proper' publication (i.e. getting paid for it!) ... I am unsure of that. I have great difficulty applying myself to a task for any length of time, which goes for the guitar as well. That is probably, as you say, an effect of my depression - lack of concentration, and inability to enjoy activities that I should find rewarding. The thought of a novel seems like a huge mountain to climb.
I'm only 50, so perhaps it was a tad ridiculous to say that I'm too old and tired for aspirations or ambitions. But that's how I feel - very low on energy and motivation most of the time. It takes an effort just to navigate my way through each routine day. Such is depression, I suppose, and I'm not at all unique in this.
You're ahead of me on the piano - I've never tried 'Jingle Bells' on the guitar. I'll let you know if I master it!
I wouldn't say that you have no marketable skills outside of your work. I have read your posts here for awhile and you are a very good writer. Good enough to get published I'd say. I would personally love to read a book that you wrote. Your words tend to flow effortlessly and comfortably. Maybe your depression is what is stopping you from writing that novel. Or maybe you just haven't hit on the right idea yet. I don't think you should give up on the things you have not accomplished. They are just things you have not accomplished yet. Write a little each day and who knows? Maybe someday we will all be reading a novel written by you. That would kill two birds with one stone as they say. You could write a novel and thereby gain financial security. As for guitar, only practise can make you better. Again a little each day, even when you don't want to play.
My three things? I always wanted to learn to play the piano, finish my university degree and travel to Europe. I am slowly but surely teaching myself how to play the piano (I can play the chorus to Jingle Bells), I am only 4 courses away from my BA in history (only 18 years since I began) and I finally went to Europe for two weeks in October.
I guess what my point to this long winded ramble is you are never too old to do something if you really want to do it. It may take longer being that we are depressed but we can do it. I remind myself every day that action must come before motivation. It has become my mantra. I hope this helps.
Gosh Pete... what you say makes a lot of sense. This is what happens as we age and have to accept certain limitations. It's pretty sad though too. Enough to make a person permanently depressed... like we haven't already been anyway. Ugh. On a down cycle and finding it hard to think positively... plus things that come to mind that I have not done all require higher education for which I no longer have the financial or mental resources to accomplish. I'm not giving up though... someplace, under all that negativity are things I want to do and can do ... I just don't know it yet
Achieved financial security for myself and my family.
I have a feeling that the response may be - "Well, what's stopping you?".
So, to pre-empt : I've tried both learning the guitar and writing a novel and I just don't have the ability or patience to do either. And the financial security? My work skills and personality won't take me any further than I have already gone in my career, so I have no realistic prospect of earning any more. I have no business acumen, nose for money or marketable talent, so it's virtually impossible for me to make an income outside my regular employment. I wouldn't know where to start.
But it's not as if these unrealised ambitions bother me any more - I feel too old and tired now for any aspirations.And if I were a rich novelist with a successful sideline in a band, I'm sure that wouldn't miraculously make me happy.
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
