I chose this path, because I couldn't take anxiety and panic attacks anymore. I push forward to remain free of panic attacks. I keep the momentum, because for me, there is no alternative and no going back to my previous state of being. What helps is all of the positive progress and positive results.
Yesterday, I bent my finger and heard a crack. My finger swelled up like a balloon and turned purple and had a sharp pain, along with numbness and tingling. It came out of no where and my anxiety level was a 9 (panic attack being a 10). I drove to Patient First and hit a red traffic light (where I used to have severe panic attacks) and, because my anxiety level was high I felt like it was going to kick over to panic (which it did not). I remained in a high state of anxiety during the whole appointment, x-rays, and a baffled doctor who had "never seen a case like this before." Lovely. I called my Dad and he said it was a burst blood vessel which I went on line to investigate further, and sure enough, hundreds of people have had it happen and it's harmless and non life threatening. It may take up to two weeks to recover. Well, I was exhausted from being in that state of anxiety for so long. I was sucked into the drama of it all and wondered why I felt so bad and my finger felt worse...Then I realized it was what I was focusing on. I was focusing on my injury and it seemed to get worse. Once, I replaced those negative thoughts with positive ones, such as: It's harmless, not life threatening, this is temporary, I'll be better every day and it's two weeks of an inconvenience at the most. My finger started feeling better. It's still purple, it's tingly, swollen, but it is no longer the focus of my attention. And, putting those coping skills in to action is what turned me around for the better. I do not look at it as a setback and I'm not hard on myself about it. Life is not perfect, we have rough days, and easier days. Sometimes I can recover in a moment, sometimes it takes longer, because of the old habits, to realize what is going on and switch to the new habits. I hope everyone is doing well and will keep going forward despite random upsets that life throws at you some times. Don't give up, just because you've had a bad day or week, you will come through it. I believe in you.
Shari