Any day that you can smile at the end of is a success. No matter how bad it was. Go to bed with a smile on your face just knowing it is done and tomorrow is another day. Interesting analogy, milestones. Life is like a road you travel. Some milestones you get to say "thank God that is over" and some you look forward to reaching. Some are days, weeks, months or even years away. Still they are there. You can't get away from them. And of course there are some you will never reach. It is a long road. So many branches, so many side roads. So exciting if you let it.
Did I reach a goal. I suppose I did but it was never really a goal, more like a wish from back when I thought I was never going to get better. I'm functional. I can do anything within the limits of my physical ability. I shop, I drive, I visit and I don't wake up in the middle of the night in full blown panic. There will always be the potential for a panic attack but that thought no longer colours my plans. Never again will I say I can't do something because I might have an attack. Take yesterday. Three days a week I take a medication that causes anxiety. I can't stop the anxiety with self talk because this is a chemical reaction. But I can stop my reaction too it. I know I am going to have three off days a week. I plan for it and accept it. I also know it has a limited number of hours and it will be gone. So yesterday was not a good day. I can still function anyway. Just not as well as I will today. And today I will because yesterday doesn't count, it is over. So yes I suppose I have reached a goal and that goal is acceptance.
Panic attacks were horrible but only the end result of a life of anticipatory anxiety. Both gone except for that which is induced by medication, and that I can live with.
But that is me and I'm I guess cured. Those of you that are new will have closer milestones and more successes. They may be small but they lead to that one big one we all want.
I'm proof it is attainable.
So what success did you achieve this week? I managed to shop dead beat on a bad day and I feel good about it.
Davit.