1.   The capacity to regulate the body to balance sympathetic and parasympathetic systems

2.   The ability to attune communication the ability to feel someone is open to you and can reflect your state.

5.       Ability to respond-flexibility to take in a situation stand back and then react

6.       Insight awareness that can connect past present and future

7.       Empathy

8.       Morality

9.       accessing intuition allowing wisdom of body to inform reasoning

These qualities can be found in a healthy child who has been brought up without attachment difficulties  to his or her mother. These qualities are expressed functionally in the frontal lobes of the brain. In addition, when looking at the brain they found people with these qualities have thicker frontal lobes. Finally, these qualities can be cultivated thought mindfulness or some form of mediation.

These qualities as you may have guess already show your how your relationships (at the beginning with you mother) affect your view of the world. The relationships and your view of the world are processed through the same part of the brain. Therefore, to some degree your relationships you have had or have know are wired in your frontal lobes also shows you how you relate to the world. This is not the sole purpose and only purpose of the frontal lobe as it also helps you describe your relationship with the physical world.

 Let us not start beating up on how we were raised unless you have not done a journal and got it out of your system. These qualities can be cultivated through mindfulness and the practise of meditation. It also may show you where your view of the world came from when you look at your relationships and how they may mirror your view of world.

To relate this to myself there is an event that changed my whole view of the world.  This event for me was starting high school and then lost my hearing (this is when my panic attacks started). This is when as Einstein says I put the” I” into my suffering. In other words  by putting the I in my suffering I became separate from the rest of society.

You can imagine that if you feel separate from the world in relationships shows me how I formed the opinion of the world as being separate from myself. I do not believe that this event was the one and only event that gave me the view of the world but it certainly solidified it. Even now, I can ask the question where I fit in. Funny thought before learning this I started to work on my relationships because this is where I determined my biggest problem was. By the way, you can obtain these qualities of the above with cultivating a relationship with yourself.

In other words, you can cultivate in yourself to be your best friend. How many of the people on the site who have a partner who they love can honestly say they love themselves as much as they love the partner. You can cultivate this relationship with yourself by being mindfulness and using meditation (meditation is where you start not where you end).  If you change the view of yourself as being greater then you sensations and thoughts then you are on your way.

This is not a call to religion it is a view that we are all part of the world the universe and we all made up of energy in different forms. This is where I am having trouble with as you know I said above that I felt separate from people when I lost my hearing this view continues as I search for a connectedness to myself and everything around me. This would be a paradigm shift for me.

One last point is that not everyone can achieve all of what I said, just as there is no one pill that cures all panic attacks, or there is not one thought that needs to be changed that will cure everyone in CBT.

Dizzy