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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Yes ! Exactly! You are doing Great!

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Awesome!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Here for you.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Yes, I like that approach. It won't be the end of the world if my house isn't spotless and I buy some cookies instead of baking them. So what? I do the best I can and maybe next year I'll do more (or not). At least I put up a tree this year and decorated it with about a billion (slight exaggeration

) folded paper stars I have been making in an effort to keep my mind engaged and hands busy. Maybe I'll just give those out as gifts and be done with it.

Yes! Did I just change negative thoughts to positive ones? The events aren't any different, but how I feel about it is? And how I feel about it changed because my thoughts about it changed? Is that right?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Just do what you are doing, you are doing fine, and we are here for you to lean on. Whine if you want to we don't mind.

For me the best way to get through Christmas is to not do anything I don't want to just because it is expected of me. It is for me too you know. And if I don't feel up to it well maybe I will next year. Just being home instead of the hospital is enough.

Here for you,

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi ~m,

It sounds like you have a lot of different things going on right now, and I am really sorry to hear about your loss. Dealing with grief is a complex process and if you feel the need you can skip ahead to session 16 that works on grief and loss. Take a step back, take a deep breath and break your tasks down into smaller ones. Approach one task at a time and once you have completed that one, move along to the next. Set aside a small amount of time each day to work on the program and know that once you have more free-time you can get more of the program work completed.

Know that we are here for you, lean on us for support.

Samantha, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Sorry

One of my promises to myself was to not whine and complain, because in fact I am very grateful for this site, the Health Educators, the wisdom and openess of the members. I do not wish I never started the program. I am very excited that this late in life, I am learning that I don't have to just "live with it" or "Just manage it" ... but can change the way my brain reacts. I can DO something about this debilitating problem. It will take time. I have a lot to learn. I can do this with patience and grace and an occasional freak out

I'm cool. sorta

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

How am I feeling triggered? What are the feelings/emotions?

It's hard to sort out exactly.

Of course, the most obvious is that holidays have been extremely sad, lonely affairs since our son died in Iraq. This year we are having some soldiers coming who served w/him. It is wonderful that they are willing to give of themselves this way, but I don't know if I can handle it just now. We have such a precarious balance going on here. I just don't know what to do. If I cancel... am I avoiding? Plus, for some reason I thought there was another two weeks before Christmas.... duh, I've got what? 5 days. 5 days to plan and clean and do my anxiety work and "be aware" of my emotions and feelings and thoughts when I'm not even sure which is which, plus stay away from alcohol and then we are supposed to go on a trip w/daughter and family over New Years (me who has trouble leaving my house!) and, and, and, and.................

Shoot, shoot, shoot.... I had started to calm down... OK, actually I was distracting myself (is that avoiding behavior?) took the dogs for a walk, did some laundry, answered some emails, read some blogs............. but now, talking about it, all the anxiety is back bigger than before. I do recognize that I am "catastrophizing", while wearing "fear goggles" and engaging in all or none thinking...................... but what do I DO about it?

I sure do wish I had already completed the whole program so I could handle this stuff, or better yet had never started ... then I could just avoid everything and use all my old coping mechanisms while being none the wiser.