That's a great exercise. I never thought to do it for myself. My husband and I did something similar which was to think of the 'things' I liked about him and vise versa. It was at a time when we were having some issues and our wonderful therapist had each of start saying this to each other and to meditate together with thoughts in our minds about the other person. It reminded me of when I was talking to my best friend about a great guy I met, everything I found attractive when we were dating. And it worked. The anger melted away and we were able to talk about what was wrong with love instead of being closed off.
So now, I'm going to start my list for myself. I'm sure it will help this mid-life crisis. Great idea. Thanks.
Hi Ashley: One homework assignment I once had in CBT was writing out at least 50 things I liked about myself. It sounded really tough to do. It could be anything from a great smile to a very caring person. Trying to find 50 things makes you think hard about who you are and what your good points are. The next wk. we read out our lists to the group. This exercise made us think about ourselves in a positive light and the end result was that we recognized our own talents and strengths. It was great for our self- esteem. Members, ask yourself the question, who am I? and try to write down 50 good things about your unique self.
Here are some more tips on rebuilding self esteem:
• Do not dismiss praise or recognition from outside sources. Say thank you. (This gets easier with practice)
• On the flipside, DO NOT accept put downs from others. This is a non-negotiable. Constructive criticism is now the accepted norm for you!
• Accept that not everyone will like you. It’s a fact of life. Some people just aren’t meant to be friends or lovers. Find people you do bond with and build relationships with them.
• Stop comparing yourself to others. You are unique. You are special in your own way and you have your own strengths. Change the focus back to you every time you feel yourself falling back into that old habit of comparison.
Please add your thoughts on rebuilding your self-esteem! More tips to come next week!
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