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Is my exposure experience today a good thing or bad

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Is my exposure experience today a good thing or bad

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Dizzy.

For a long time I was haunted by a mistake I made. It was embarrassing and it could have built a bigger core belief than it did except for the fact that I realized the mistake was based on misinformation. But still I realize how powerful these thoughts can be especially if there are related core beliefs attached. We all make mistakes, and I'm sure we are all bothered to a certain extent by them, but they are usually only temporary beliefs. It is when they are attached to another belief such as I'm stupid or I always do this or similar that we turn them into core beliefs also. Which brings us to the problem of closing this core down when other cores keep opening it. See you may have to go to the root and work your way up to the one you want to bury. And the root one sounds like it could be an old one from childhood so it will be strong. An analogy: it would be a little like trying to dry your car in the rain, you know how to do it but some thing is stopping you from being able to do it. Again we have a circle with more than one core belief working against you. Where do you start? Anywhere you can get a bite. Even a little one.

We will start by me telling you that you can not possibly be wrong all the time, because I don't believe it. You may not believe yourself but maybe you can believe me.

Here for you

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Dizzy and Davit,

This is an interesting discussion! Let me see if I can get caught up. I would also be interested to hear what other members have to say.

Dizzy, just so I am clear in your last post you ask a few questions:

How do I do exposure to the lack of control in a diary?

How do I change my perception of this belief? (Belief being "I am wrong all the time")

What is or is not a core belief?

First let's address your last question, a core belief is a strongly held belief that influences the way you see (or perceive) a situation. For example, you thinking you are always wrong is a negative core belief and challenging this belief would be helpful to you. The whole section on challenging negativity will help you with this and it will also help you in your exposure over control.

In regards to your first question, take a look at the exposure work session (session 4). Also, take a look at the ask the expert on CBT, I believe it is for October 2010. Here Dr. Farvolden discusses how to do exposure to thoughts.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Dizzy,

I'll take a chance here, And I'll put the rest of my post elsewhere incase they delete this. I think this is good information despite it is attached to a sales pitch which I am not endorsing.

www.pathwaytohappiness.com/writings_falsebeliefs.htm

Here for you

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Davit

I am really trying to gain knowledge from what you are saying. I am trying to use the lack of control perception in the building or my bed. So to go back to the building how would I go about this on my diary, I can see that saying I have chosen to go into the parking spot etc. but this seems to me to be exposure planning. How can I do exposure to the lack of control in a diary?

The second core belief is that I am always wrong; I caught myself when I was trying to do boxed breathing saying this is not the perfect breath. So maybe 1 out of 10 are the breaths are perfect and one can see how this tool does not work for me. I am not sure that the belief is refined enough to explain many other core beliefs. It also explains how, what my CBT said, was not to do breathing for an hour before bed, because this will cause anxiety. So sometimes, I am just sitting in a chair and relaxing all my muscles and I think this is wrong because either I am trying to hard or I am trying to control the amount of tension in my head before I go to bed. I even caused a panic attack with the thought that once I was in bed and I was about to turn and said I will just lie here; then I said no that avoidance and that caused an attack so I perceived I was doing CBT wrong. Then in the building yesterday, I was explaining the new theory of how the universe is perpetually starting from a big bang and then diffusing in to nothing, which creates the situation for another big bang. Someone said to me that I know a lot and I said back to him the more I know the more in know that I do not know. The social worker then said to me he was complementing you accept the compliment. Which again comes back to my core belief that I am always wrong? Which leads me to another trait in me is that I look for praise in others and then when I get it I think it is insincere I guess because I think I am wrong all the time.

Could you please give some guidance on how to change my perception of this belief? I do not believe in listing all the time I have been right because as you said you cannot get rid of a core belief but you have to bury it. I am not sure but I do not think the 10-question page will solve it either.

I went looking in the internet for core belief and could not find where they say what not a core belief is. When I typed in core belief is had several options such as core beliefs, “s” on the end; or core beliefs worksheet. Could you be more specific do I type in just core belief with no “s” or with an “s” or something else?

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Dizzy.

Try having control over the perception not the sensation and the sensation should disappear. This probably seems foreign. We always try to deal with things rather than thoughts. Fear is an emotion and it is tied to a core belief. Try to look at the situation as sad instead. It is a half way perception to "there is nothing wrong." You may have to take your perception of the situation in smaller steps, if you have a strong core belief interfering.

You can start by saying "I'm going to panic but it is okay because I always panic." And if you don't panic or it is less panic, then say " I am still going to panic but now it will be less panic."

Do you see how perception has changed negative thoughts to positive. The core belief is still there and still negative but now it has something positive building on it. Slowly over a period of time bury it with positive, even if they are only partial positives like the above examples.

I think your core beliefs might be too strong to bury in one shot. And if you get a success celebrate it, even if it makes you look manic. And every little step is a success. Celebrating successes keeps 'attitude' where you want it.

All these things you have to do manually will become automatic with time. Like they are in those that don't have panic attacks. And this is the goal for those of us that have had panic attacks. To shut them down before they become obvious since they are now controlled by a core belief we have built from having them.

But most of all when you say something positive make sure you believe. You already have attitude (you want to win) you only need the other two now.

Here for you.

Davit.

Does this have any relevance to any one else?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Davit

I think a great deal about what you said. In away I am trying to control the sensations I get when I go in. They come no matter what I do. Accepting the sensation has not worked either. In every case I am trying to have control over the sensations. Same with bed attack I allways seem to have a strategy to get control it never works, this is when I get into trouble with thinking becuase I try to control my thinking in bed and as an educator said the more you try not to do something the more you are likly to do it. I think one of my core beliefs may be in here as well. I allways feel what I am doing is wrong. So I have thought is it the thought in bed or the beleif that the thought is wrong. The one thing that rings untrue is I chose to go into the building regardless of what may happen. So i find it hard to find that i choose to go in unless it is that i think everything i do is wrong. One final point i had a paradigm shift one night when i thought i had control over attack it was like i was a mad man thinking i am going to do all sorts of things with no fear. Unfortunately i told my Dad and he said it sounds like mania, he did not understand. However, i suspect that you do.

thank you for giving your guidance it gives me some more insight

p.s. I also enjoy or spats becuase it gives me an alternative to think about

Dizzy

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Dizzy.

There are two schools of thought on agoraphobia. One is that it is a fear of open spaces, the other is a fear of not having control of the situation. The second I prefer because not only does it cover open spaces but also claustrophobia and bridges, elevators and flying. And since the cure is the same for all of these phobias I find it easier to lump them all under the same umbrella. If you think about it as having a fear of not having control of the situation it explains why you can panic in an open space and have the same panic when you go into a closed place. The thing these things all have in common is that you [ think ] you do not have control. If you think about it you have to cross a space to get to the building. Eg where and how you park is not your choice, there are rules. When you enter the building you have to follow the rules of the building. There are always rules to every thing. You can not change the parking spot (some people do) or the building (some people try by using a different door). What they are looking for is some control of the situation. It only works temporary.

It is not the situation that has to change but your perception. Your exposure is a thought exposure. It is to take control. Simply by saying "it is my choice to do this" I have to park here cause it is the rule but it is my choice to park here, I have control, Me. This is my decision. Be assertive with yourself. Same with the building, it is your choice to enter it and work there. It is also your choice to escape to the bathroom when the pressure is too much.

Same with flying or riding a bus or elevator. Same with walking out into an open field. It is your choice to do it even though you have no control of the rules. p...... on the rules this is your choice and your choice to follow them.

This is where attitude and belief have to be there also. And to stir the pot I'm going to throw in

emotions too because what you are trying to do with this exposure is try to change how you perceive a core belief. ( I don't have control, and all its little cousins ) ( a whole cluster of dragons ) Emotions dictate your ability to do the other three. The kicker is your emotions can be controlled by another core belief. A common one like I am not good enough.

This is why it can take so long. You need to find that root core belief. But not right now.

Start by being assertive with yourself and try saying "this is my decision." This is your exposure, the parking and building are secondary.

This is how I got over my fear of going out into the big world and going into stores I was afraid of. It worked for me. It works for all my agoraphobic situations.

Here for you

Davit.

By the way you can do this thought exposure by picking any space and imagining it is the space that gives you the problem. Similar to thinking out the whole routine before a flight, or standing in the bathroom with your eyes closed and pretending it is an elevator.

Let me know what you think.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

A have a question has anyone has experienced this or not. I have had attacks going into a building and before I used to think, the attacks were due to (sick building syndrome). However, I do not believe this anymore. Before when I was going into buildings I could not find a place where I would experience a lesser exposure as in the session toolbox, it was into the floor of the building or nothing would happen. Today I noticed that I started to experience symptoms before I went into the building they happened in the underground parking lot. I pretty much have an attack every day in the morning so I used to attribute any change in symptoms as reminisce of the attack from that morning. However, today I noticed that symptoms for the first time as possibly anxiety about going into the building, which may lead, I my thinking to an exposure plan. Is this a good thing or a bad thing because I think I was not experiencing and anxiety before going into the building before today? Therefore, have I correctly identified and become aware of the anxiety towards going into the building or have I made it worse because I would always go in no matter how I was feeling and have therefore increased my anxiety towards going into the building. I am not sure how to put it in agoraphobic terms, but I think agoraphobics are afraid to go outside because they had an attack there and have associated outside with an attack. So now that I have identified it is me doing causing the attack and not the building and now perceive that going into a building causes me anxiety where I thought I did not before. In one sense, I am getting in touch with my feeling but in another way, I am more anxious then before when attempting to go into a building so in sense I am more agoraphobic. My question is this good thing or not. I can guess the educators response to be, how do you view it, it is my perception of how I view it, notice Davit that I used one of your words “perception”.

Dizzy

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Is my exposure experience today a good thing or bad