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More on Worrying


13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
loves trees

Did you get anxiety reading attachment theory? It was an eye opener and took two days to read as I was afraid I would find myself in there and I did but I realize they are right, people can change and I did. It is a lot to absorb and goes with negative core beliefs as a possible and probable reason why we build them. The human mind can be scary.

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Davit.
13 years ago 0 356 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Davit,
 
I agree that attachment theory seems to accurately explain a key part of human development. It can be hard for those of us who did not receive secure attachment as babies and toddlers to read about it but for me it provided important information so I could better understand where my needs did / didn't get met as a child. 

13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ashley

I totally agree with you. As for genetics and life influences if you read attachment theory it backs it up and there are empirical studies that say this is so. But they also say it can be changed. I found it rather scary and eye opening when I read it. I do not recommend it to any one with excess worry, it could possibly make it worse.

I used to worry most when money was short. Money is not short right now so that only leaves health but it is a smaller worry than money was. Mortality is always a worry for the aged. But it doesn't have to be that big of a one.

Davit.
13 years ago 0 356 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ashley,
 
Worry is a topic I started thinking about several months ago so this is interesting to me. 
I have been a worrier as long as I can remember.
As part of my personal memory work / digging up negative core beliefs / anger release work I have recalled a couple specific scenarios from my childhood where my worry was not alleviate and I should have been helped by someone older than me. I was often made fun of for worrying. Teasing is ok but I don't remember ever being helped in actually addressing my worry which was constant sometimes as a 12 year old and onwards. By the time I was a pre-teen I distinctly remember feeling better if I had something to worry about. It was always something I couldn't control, and fixating it helped me to feel better. 
 
Now as and adult I know that worrying in order to feel centered is not good for me. The first 3 weeks of the program here are really important because in tracking negative thoughts, I found I tracked how often I worried about the future and can see how much energy is going into worrying. I don't want that energy to go into worrying, so now I find myself asking myself more and more automatically "do I have to worry about this right now?" and usually the answer is no. Most all of the time really. 
 
 
Just this AM I woke up and was worrying and saying "what if" to myself and creating scenarios in my head to worry about. If they came to pass, they would be unpleasant but not insurmountable. So I made myself look around and say "do I need to worry about this today". And the answer is no. The thing I am worried about does have a legitimate concern attached to it and it may lead to a disagreement when I bring it up with the person it involves, but in the past I would often try to address it with the person right away to alleviate my worry. I do'nt do that anymore. Or at least I try really hard not to let my worry about the future direct my day to day so much. 
 
To give my perspective on why some people worry more than others, and that worry is related to uncertainty I believe that
there is also more uncertainty today than there was 30 years ago. People are finding it harder to retire because they worry they may not havve enough money to live on, for example. I know human beings have never been able to predict the future so knowing what will come to pass in retirement or any other time is impossible. But today there are fewer supports and services for people - families are smaller so social supports are fewer and health care is less available than it used to be. I think that we are told everyday to worry when we read the newspaper - either to worry about crime or losing our job or losing our savings from stock market crashes, etc.. University students worry about not finding jobs and not being able to pay off their loans. People 1 generation older than me tell me stories of how it took them 2 years to pay off an entire student loan (as if that was a lot of time). today students take 5 or 10 years or more to pay off college debt. So I am sympathetic that this sort of living causes a certain amount of worry.
 
I actually don't read the newspaper much because I don't believe we can live our lives worrying about all the things we are told to worry about. It works for me.
 
13 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Members,

From an evolutionary perspective, worrying makes sense. Being able to worry, at least a little, allows us to anticipate and plan for the future and cope with stress. On the other hand, too much worry isn’t healthy either. If you spend a lot of your day worrying, it probably doesn’t do you a lot of good. Worrying about problems a little can lead to problem solving and coping, worrying more than a little doesn’t usually lead to much good. So why do some people worry more than others?

There are a number of factors that contribute to excessive worry including genes and the environment. Worry also tends to happen when things are uncertain.

When do you worry most? Do you think your upbringing has shaped the degree of worry you experience?
Ashley, Health Educator

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