Congratulations Stephen on your sobriety - Happy 3rd Birthday. I am not an alcoholic, however, I have been to AlAnon meetings which I found helped me a great deal to better understand and have gone to open AA meetings to support someone. I have family and a couple of friends who are alcoholic. I have met some wonderful people from all walks of life. Do you have a sponsor? Does it help if you call him when you have that temptation? I've heard from the group in my neighbourhood that if your sponsor is not available - especially when you most need him - there is an emergency temporary sponsor you can call, or even someone else in the program. I've read the 12-step book and it is really great. It can be used by anyone to better their life. Is the Christmas season tough for you? Around here they especially have meetings every day during the season because of anxiety it can cause. I'm wishing you the very best and hang in there, keep posting whenever and whatever. This is a great site for support and understanding.