I am terrible for this. I like to look at people. I am a people watcher but when I look at people I am not really thinking, "oh their weird" or "oh what a dumb outfit". I am thinking "hmmm there is a person living their life". I look out of interest not out of judgment and I think this is what most people are like. When you notice someone looking at you they are simply interested in you. Try not to worry about it you can't help that you are so interesting to look at
Also, if it still bothers you don't look back, try to ignore it. The more you look the more they will look. Hey, they might even be thinking...""why is that person looking at me?" If you ignore them they may lose interest and starting looking at someone else. I hope this helps.
A question for you....
Ideally if you could be anyone what kind of person would you be at that party? What would you do differently then you do now and what would you do the same?
My friend had a gathering party 2 weeks ago and he invited all his friends and parents.I tried to be relaxed and enjoy but I can say that I still had some anxiety, fear level 30%....It wasn't so bad as I expected. I was imagining things...like something embarassing will happen to me...like somebody will ask me embarassing questions or look strange to me....Indeed people were looking at me and I was feeling embarassed.
What should I do when I have this embarassement feeling when somebody looks at me ? I don't like when people stare.Especially men.Do you have some advices?
The only real advice I can give is to try going to some of the houses. Have a break in between visiting houses so you have time to cool down as well.
As far as the language barrier and the like, since it's your boyfriends friends, they will make a point to try to talk to you and understand, and if you are willing to do the same then they will see that. Maybe you can try to ask them to teach you some of the language so you can learn it? That would be a great conversation tool!
Welcome to our wonderful support community! You have come to a great place
Please take the time to read through the program and to explore the tools and resources that are available to you through this site. We are here to help and support you in whatever you need. In terms of your shyness, if you click on "Toolbox" at the top of the page, you will find the program sessions. Please complete the first sessions, as this will allow you to skip to any session you would like. In the "Auxiliary Sessions" there is a session on "Shyness & Sensitivity". Check it out!
Hang in there, and please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Members, do you have any advice or suggestions that you would like to share?
I am a Romanian girl that has already moved to Holland to live with her boyfriend and have a better life.But the moment I moved problems appeared in my behaviour and my anxiety is incresing everytime his phone rings and a friend invites us to his place to drink a coffee.I am anxious about doing this because he has friends that have children and I am a little bity scared.my boyfriend is a social butterfly and I am the opposite.I don't like to talk in public too much and when people ask me direct or embarassing questions I cannot answer without feeling panic inside me!!!
My boyfriend used to visit his friends regularly but since he met me he didn't visit them so often .No his friends know that I came to Holland and they want to meet me.And ask me questions...Only this thought makes me not want to go and everytime he tells me about an invitation to a coffee or a party I feel that my heart skips some beats.
My English is not so good and I cannot express myself the way I feel like.It is strange for me, I am here for 2 weeks already but it is still hard to get used.In comparison with Romania Holland is a very free country and multicultural.I also had some panic attacs and culture shock when I came here, in the first days.
What do you advice me to do?My boyfriend is very critical and I tried to talk with him about my anxiety problems but I think that only you can help me because only you know how it feels like.
What should I do about the invitations we have to coffees and parties?we already refused 5-6 invitations.
What should I do to feel comfortable when I am in a group of people I don't know and when the language I talk is not my native language and I feel that I can't express my thoughts?
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