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Healing power of humour

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I believe a person should never ask anything they don't want the answer to unless they are prepared for the answer and few of us are.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Once a week, I try to connect my mom and her sister by telephone. I pretended to speak to my aunt, when i
was actually waiting for the ring of a telephone to be completed, so I could pass
phone over to mom, as I’ve done in the past. I was aware that I might be expected to talk to
my aunt each time, so I was bluffing to save time, since the phone was still ringing. My mom's perception is that I was speaking to my cousin, who would pass the phone to his mother so our moms could speak. The result
is the same expectation to repeat the situation speaking to aunt, ring tone or not, and this was self-defeating.

Here is one more thing I could never do- lie. A woman joked with me once, by asking me if I thought she was fat, and I replied she was fully figured. Looking back, she did lose weight

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

That is just it. Don't hinge your expectations on others but on the other hand don't allow this to let you miss out on a possibility.

So many people don't mean what they say, like so many things don't mean what they say. Like sayings. "how are you" "see you later". Some things are just said because they always are.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Thinking of a trip, or Christmas, it's easy to understand how "...anxiety is anticipation holding it's breath...".

Being an expectant mother must be unimaginable, since the uncertainty of a family and nurturing her body to birth is life changing on so many levels. Expectation has value!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

I may be overly optimistic about this, but I think it's more of our expectation level and others not living up to them. I don't think people try to disappoint us on purpose, it's just a fact of human nature. We are imperfect creatures. I think it's worth the risk to try and try again, because there's that one chance in numerous tries that we may hit the jackpot. That may be in a friendship, a romance or anything that is possible. If we don't take any risks, we end up missing out on life and we live in our self limited world and probably don't leave the house much. Big risks equals the possibility of big gains. A lot of times we give up when we're almost at the reward. Just being open, even if you get hurt along the way, may pay off big one day. What if we miss out on the love of our life, because we've been hurt before and don't want to risk falling in love again. Or, missing out on a best friend, because we've been hurt by too many people along the way. It's worth a shot. I admit I struggle with this too. I need to practice what I preach as well. To paraphrase what Hugs said, if we continue to do things, people will be there, whether they end up becoming friends or not. It's hard not to build up a wall; especially after being hurt and disappointed over and over. If we can't risk, we can't fully love and experience the fullness of what life has to offer. Is protecting ourselves from hurt worth the loneliness and isolation we keep ourselves in? Just my opinion and something to think about.

Shari

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Davit

Hinging our expectations on others is risky, so why bother?

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I think people have an immense capacity to disappoint. I have people ask if they can come over to learn wood work or gardening but they get busy and don't show. I don't really expect them, therefore it doesn't matter when they don't show.

I like my own company so life goes on without them, and I am never truly alone.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Shari,

I think if you found something you continued, then the people would be there, retired, or occupied. It's the logistics that need to be settled, and people are off being "busy". Taking courses allows me to meet people, but whether we wish to be friends is the question, not their status.

I do feel that time crunch though, so when the course is over, I leave. What's hard, as I mentioned, is commiting to something for a period of time, since my activities can hijack my life.

I meant to place the quote below at the "quote of the day". His quote does relate to relationships, since they take nurturing at regular intervals, so I always look for an activity which lasts at least 4 weeks, and is the same time. Needing a lot of distance because of my negative work experience, I just find it difficult to trust anymore.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Confidence doesn't come out of nowhere. It's a result of something... hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.
- Roger Staubach

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Hi Ashley,

Re: meeting friends. I have 4 people in my life that I have contact with on a daily basis. One is my email best friend, the other two are my parents, who I talk to daily on the phone, and George who goes out with me weekly for coffee and to the flea markets/yard sales. I found the common denominator, of 3 of the 4 people, is that they are retired! So, they have time for me, because they aren't working. So, I thought the best way to find friends is to find retired people who are enjoying some kind of hobby. Now to find where they hang out. I can try the library, book stores, coffee shops. The flea markets are good as well. There's got to be places to play cards or Bingo at one of the Veteran's Association clubs like at a Moose Lodge or something similar. I can still try another knitting group or start one perhaps. I'll let you know how it goes. Irene, coffee friend, has been back in town for a week and didn't call for our Friday coffee, so I've let that friendship go. We don't have anything in common and I'm not going to pursue someone who has no time for me. I'm worth more than that.

Shari

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