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Overcoming Lonliness


11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Just wanted to show everyone what a smooth coated Brussels Griffon puppy looks like.  They are also known as Petite Brabancon.  There is also a wire hair Brussels Griffon.  If I go with a show dog, I would get the smooth coat.  For a pet, the wire hair is cute.  I also know their looks are debatable.  Some people see Bulldogs as cute and other see them as not so cute. Anyway, it's a cute picture to make you smile.

Have a good day!

Shari
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Good morning everyone.

Through a dear friend, who emailed me yesterday, I discovered and interest I didn't know I had.  She collects ceramic dogs from antique shops and flea markets.  That's one way I could have as many dogs as I want :)  I asked George if he would be interested in going to those places, even though he'd probably be looking at other items, and surprisingly, he said he would go with me.  I thought it would be something I would be doing alone, as I am the only company I have lately.  So, I'm looking forward to that adventure.  We could do day trips to my home town in Northern Maryland, PA (stop by and visit my brother and his wife), VA, and locally in Southern Maryland.  The options are limitless.  

George said I could get another dog if I wanted to.  He doesn't mind.  I'm looking into the Brussels Griffon and the book I ordered from Amazon was shipped this morning.  So, it will be fun to research and read about that type of dog.  There is a Southern Maryland Dog Club that sponsors an annual show, down the street at the fairgrounds, during the summer.  I will definitely go and talk with people.  There are match shows which are just practice shows, but some people who have dogs that will never be champions go there exclusively.  It's a more relaxed atmosphere and mostly it's fair and everyone has a shot at winning.  Although one time I went with my Papillon dog (years ago) and the buzz was that this famous Boston Terrier puppy was going to win and he did.  But, I went more for socializing with dog people, spending a day outside with my dog Panda and she did win Best of Breed even though she didn't win Best in Show.  I still have the trophy she won and ribbons. Matches are less expensive to enter than shows.  I think the show circuit is much smaller now (not as numerous as it was in the past), but they still exist and it's fun to travel to the different locations on the weekends.  Maybe George would go. He only likes Miniature Dachshunds and I know he'd go if we had one and I  bet he'd go in the ring with her too.  The Dachshunds I've had in the past are cheeky little monkeys (as the British say).  They think they are funny and cute when they tear 20 holes in your sofa and destroy everything you own :)  Not my cup of tea, because I have to clean up after their shenanigans.  I always wanted to have one litter of puppies which is possible.  I would be responsible and make sure the breeder I got my dog from would find good homes for them.  Toy breeds have small litters with one or two puppies and with having help finding responsible homes for them I wouldn't be adding to the pet over population.  I would keep them all myself, for life, if there were no homes available and may not be able to part with them in the first place.  Maybe I could show them and then be a breeder/handler which is a higher place in the dog show world and a breeder tends to win more than owner handlers.  Well, it feels good to talk about my passion, without judgment and in a safe place.  If I get involved in showing again I'll keep you posted and updated and also show photos as avatars.  It's not an overnight process.  It takes time to choose a breed, find a breeder, the show club won't be around till the middle of this summer, although I could contact someone before hand.  It would be nice to find a mentor; they are hard to find, but possible.  Then getting on the show superintendents list and having show applications sent throughout the year.  If I can do this, as I have before, I will be able to engross myself in a passion and can play "by myself" instead of "playing with others".  Although, just by being at the shows, you are playing with others who have the same interest as you.  Most folks are nice, especially, if they have a different breed than yours and aren't in competition with you.  Will let you know if this comes to fruition.  The process is as exciting as actually getting there.

Have a wonderful day and Carpe Diem (seize the day) [I baffled spell check, so I might have spelled Carpe wrong]

Shari
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs,

I just noticed how many typo's I've made lately and didn't want to be misunderstood, so I felt like clarifying.  I feel very supported from everyone here.  Thanks for being caring and taking the time to ask.  I appreciate you.

Shari


11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Shari,
 
I hope you  weren't feeling any criticism about a typo.  It's something I've personally let go of re: my own need to spell.  Once a friend asked me to spellcheck her college paper, and I did.  It was hard on her, since she had dyslexia, but she did very well in her career!
 
On this site, I don't worry about much except support, and I hope that comes through
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Everyone!

I have another typo, but I'm assuming despite them, everyone knows what I mean..."We won't die from unsatisfied passion or not having relationships."  I type too fast and leave out words like not and can't...hmm...maybe that's a sign that I've replaced all of my negative words with positive ones and now I, subconsciously, leave them out - ha ha :)  Sounded more impressive than, oh, I forgot :)

Shari
11 years ago 0 286 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
So many great reminders and so much great advice here Shari!
11 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Shari, 

Thanks for this really wonderful post, I really like what you are explaining here. Most of these statements can be applied to coping with anxiety as well. You make some really interesting and valid points that I think we can all take something from. 

Members, what are your thoughts on this matter?


Samantha, Health Educator
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Shari,
I liked that sitcom.  The apologetic agent who worked with B Feldon, had a funny character which was like one of our secretaries.  The agent used to say `sorry about that chief``, as our secretary, did.  Our secretary once wiped out a lot of data, and was so cute when she'd apologize, as we looked in sheer terror and amusement, at the repercussions.  It`s hard to be mean to someone with a good spirit.
 
Sometimes I`m trying to overcome Loonliness, it seems, not loneliness.  At those times, I wonder if I`ve accepted myself.
 
 
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I joined The Nature Conservancy today and found the enclosed quote on a card, "When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe."  John Muir.  So, we are not alone, we are all connected as human beings. And, in the Christian sense, we are all a part of the Body of Christ, some people make up the head, some the heel, but everyone has a purpose and is useful and is no less than anyone else.  We are all equally important.  Feels good to know that.

Shari
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The thread title is something I've been working on trying to overcome and I found the answers in a book I d/l on my Kindle called, "Living  Alone and Loving It", by Barbara Feldon who played Agent 99 on the 70's sitcom Get Smart.  Although it was written for single people, I found everything she said to be valid for everyone.  I found it astounding that she called loneliness her most fearsome dragon who made her feel desolate, hopeless and that she was alone forever.  She talked about slaying the loneliness dragon who made her feel abandoned.  I found out that acquaintances are not less than relationships like talking with my coffee barista and cashier and people that I engage with at various stores.  That internet friends are not less than person to person friends.  It's okay to always be the one who initiates getting together or contacting people and makes the effort.  Even when we do things alone we are all connected as people.  Being by oneself is not the same as being abandoned; the world is still there.  As we have learned on this site, no negative thinking, view ourselves and situations differently.  Dependency is habit forming and makes you feel insecure without it.  Give it up.  Mourn it's loss and only then will the compassion for yourself begins to grow.  When negative thoughts occur, simply say, "stop".  To counteract the rejection dragon, list people in your life who welcome and accept you.  Recall successful endeavors.  Concentrate on your achievements, not on your feelings.  Don't be self critical, become your best friend not your worst enemy.  Write down all that is good for your life and do one each day (coffee break, read a book, etc.).  Don't dwell on events or people who disappoint you.  There are other intimacies besides relationships.  Passionate interests can be found in getting lost in a book.  Identify things that deeply engross you.  Search childhood interests.  Write down each action to take in order to pursue you interest.  Go deeper into existing interests (if you like books, join a book club).  We won't die from unsatisfied passion or having relationships; it's only tormenting if we choose to view it that way.  Focus on what you can have and cultivate those pleasures.  It's not so much what we're missing, it's what we fantasize we're missing.  There can be no loneliness when there is a connection with the culture, people and place itself.  We are rarely alone if we are willing to acknowledge others along the way.  You are not alone when you eat in a restaurant by yourself.; everyone is sharing the experience of eating there.  Let go of societies attitudes about how things "should be".  I was amazed to find out that she had a lot of similar experiences that I've had like people canceling last minute, etc.  The world has changed, and is more inward and connected toward technology rather than meeting people face to face; especially in America.  But, now I have the coping tools to adapt to the new world we live in and I can thrive in it thanks to her book.  This long term problem is solved.  Success!

Shari

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