well something positive happened to me today, last week a division of the company i worked for asked me and my coworker(there are 3 of us and 1 is away on holidays) to a BBQ at their office, it is about 30 minutes drive away from my work, my coworker said he would drive, so i thought i would use this as exposure work, i was alittle nervous about being a passenger and a little anxious about going in the first place, i put the thoughts aside as i had to do an exposure of taking my daughter to the orthordontist (20 minutes away) on Monday. Then i went to work yesterday and my coworker said there is no point coming back to work after the BBQ we will just go home so we will drive ourselves, well that was it i immediately started thinking how i was going to get out of it, but planning my route if i had to go, after an hour of obsessing i put the thought away, then this morning i woke up anxious and thought i would get out of it by not going to work, but then i told myself no you are avoiding things (i had already did the 10 questions yesterday) so i went to work with my navigator in hand and was still a bit anxious so to calm myself down i got a piece of paper and wrote on it;
I am strong and healthy
I have good car
I am a safe driver
it will be two hours max
you can do it debi
This is the road to getting well
I put the paper in front of me and looked at it for an hour before i had to leave, then my daughter rang and she had left her phone in my car so rather than follow my coworker i had to take the phone home first, I took my piece of paper with me and dropped of the phone, i drove all the way there breathing and singing, i had a nice anxiety free lunch and then i drove all the way back even getting lost in between with still no anxiety, for once i really enjoyed the drive and when i pulled in my driveway i shouted I DID IT, i am so glad i did not avoid this BBQ and am keeping my piece of paper for future exposures.
I was thinking of all of you on the way and i could feel you all pushing me along - thank you my friends
xxx
