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18 years!

Ashley -> Health Educator

2022-05-18 2:22 PM

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Morel Mushroom Season

Ashley -> Health Educator

2022-05-18 2:20 PM

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Ashley -> Health Educator

2022-05-09 6:27 PM

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Quitting again! Anyone else?


2022-05-02 7:41 PM

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Please forgive your mind/body for the anxiety

a year ago +2 Roseala 5 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 3

Dear Red,

I wish you the best, & may God Bless You.

Hi Red,

What a beautiful dream. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Also, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us in general. I know it helps others and for me, it has been rewarding to read about your journey over the years. I remember how happy I was reading about your successes, like your trips to the desert and many other success. You have achieved so much over the years and it has been a privilege to witness it.

How are you doing lately?


a year ago (Edited a year ago) +2 Red1 2506 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 6

Good Morning,, Trevor.

Thank you for your Kind and Compassionate words this morning. It's good to hear that I made a difference in this world while I was here. All I really did was share my life experiences with others.. I am a humanitarian at heart so it was easy for me to do. Plus I received so much from doing so. Thank you for ecourageing me to share my thoughts and final journey with the educators and the members of the various forums on this web site. I am sure this will help me on my journey and if it helps others it will fill my heart with happiness knowing that I have fulfilled my purpose on this Earth.

I so appreciate everyones support and thoughts, which are also helping me on this journey. Just being able to share my thoughts and knowing someone is listening is making a world of difference for me.

Talk to you again soon

Red 💖

Hi Red,

I'm so sorry, and I'm saddened, to hear this news.You have selflessly helped so many people in these communities, and thousands of people have benefited from your wise advice and counsel.

As you know, arming yourself with as much education as possible is important. We are always here for you and please continue to post as often as you like.

Rest assured that all of us are thinking of you and are sending you positive thoughts. Please keep us updated as you are in our thoughts.


a year ago (Edited a year ago) +1 Red1 2506 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 5

Hello Ashley,

Thanks for listening and for the feedback.

For now I am just trying to relax and let my body and mind heal between treatments. I may call pallative care next week and schedule a video visit with them and see if they can help me go through this transition without the Chemo. I did the brain radiation because the cancer is in the cerebellum part of my brain. So I may do more Brain Radiation so that I can function, but the Chemo meds I am on do not break the blood brain barrier so the hope is that they will slow down the spread of my lung cancer to other parts of my body and therefore put off the pain related to that spread. There really are no easy answers, because cancer treatments in stage 4 patients is only pallative and not curative.

So I am just going to take it one day at a time for now and see what happens but my main goal is to have a pain free and peaceful transition to the lush green meadow I visited in a dream years ago while traveling and camping in a truck camper in Carlsbad New Mexico on my way to see the Carlsbad Caverns there.

I was a young child in that dream in a beautiful green meadow. Frolicking along a creek and hovering just above the ground. There was no sickness, saddness, or fear there. Just beauty and peace. And no disturbing memories of this world we live in now. It was a new beginning where I would never grow old, sick or ever experience all the saddness and evil that we do in this world. What brought me out of the dream and back to this world was the sound of my own laughing and giggling. I could feel all the peace and beauty within my heart, body and soul while I was there and tried to fall back to sleep so I could return.

I would call this experience a spiritual and out of body experience that I had. I have thought about it often and have longed to be there again.


Hi Red,

I am so sorry to hear about this. Thank you for sharing this with us. You are in a very difficult spot, no wonder you are unsure of how you want to move forward. The doctors should be making all your options clear to you and they should not be pressuring you into treatment if they are not certain it is for the best outcome. I think anyone would understand that quality of life can be more important then enduring treatment in terminal cases. With health issues, we often have to be our own advocate. Voice all your questions and your fears to your doctors, if they are not supportive then it might be best for you to get a second opinion. I am sorry you are going through this. All your thoughts and feelings are totally valid.

Aside from seeing your doctors how will you be taking care of yourself now?

I will be thinking of you and sending you positive energies Red. We are always here to read from you. Please post as much as you like.


a year ago (Edited a year ago) +1 Red1 2506 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 5

Hello Ashley,

I haven't posted in a long while so I thought it was time to reach out with a update. There has been a lot of ongoing health issues in my life for long while now but things have escalated recently.

I was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and matatasis to the brain. Of course I have been experiencing a lot of shock, disbefief, anxiety, grief and depression. Things have been happening so fast with so many tests and procedures. I really haven't had a chance to stop and rest.

I feel I am being Fast Tracked into treatment. I finally agreed to and had brain radiation this month and started Chemo too. I am not sure why because I am not cureable. My condition is terminal. I am still trying to figure it all out and what I really want to do.

It's quality of life verses quanity of life. 6 months without treatment verses maybe 1 year with treatments, that make me feel sicker. So far I am not liking the treatments and actually feel the quality of my life is really diminished by them. I feel physically and emotionally worse, not better. And I am Scared more than ever now. I want a peaceful transition not a year full doctors and treatments.

Anyway I am having a lot of anxiety, grief and fear about it all and really think I just want to rest in peace and enjoy the life I have left. But I am afraid that the healthcare system and doctors won't be there for me if i do not do their treatments and will not give me the help I need with pain meds and pallative care in the end. I really am looking for a peaceful transition not a year full of doctors, treatments, sickness and fear.

Not sure what I am going to do next..


2 years ago (Edited 2 years ago) +3 Ashley -> Health Educator 11071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 8

Hi Everyone,

Today I read a quote from someone with anxiety that really resonated with me and I wanted to share: `Please forgive your mind/body for the anxiety, it's doing the best it can given the circumstances." I found this quote very soothing. I often feel we "battle" our anxious feelings and sometimes acceptance is more helpful.

This quote reminded me of the concept Radical Acceptance. Radical acceptance is basically accepting reality for what it is. Fighting reality tends to only amplify emotions. An example of Radical Acceptance with anxiety is instead of ruminating on the anxious thoughts we have and being angry or resentful that we have them at all, instead we accept the feelings and focus on coping with the feelings.

This quote also reminded me of Self Compassion. I hear so many people who struggle with anxiety beat themselves up for being unable to control their anxiety. Instead of beating yourself up, I think it is more helpful to acknowledge how hard anxiety is and how much you have to go through regularly. Acknowledge that anxiety is very difficult to manage and you are doing the best that you can.

I would love to hear what other members thought about this quote!

Thanks for reading,


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