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situational anxiety


Diva2
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10 years ago 0 Diva2 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hiya Jdm,

How are you today?

I think we all conquer our fears in our own ways, especially since our fears are based on our own thoughts and experiences. I think to a certain extent we start fearing fear. And that becomes a vicious cycle. I think for me, I got over this in stages. I had long periods of wellness interspersed with relapses throughout my life. I started having anxiety and depression issues at a very young age. But I think we each relapse, I reevaluated things and sought help and got new tools, so each relapse became easier to overcome when it comes to anxiety. At the moment, my anxiety is pretty close to under control. I feel anxious mostly because I am dealing with a burn-out or depression at the moment. But I am learning to find tools to deal with this.

I think I made certain realizations along the way which made a profound change in me and how I felt.

1. I read "The Power of Now" from Eckhart Tolle. That book changed my life. In fact I intend to read it again. But it made me realize that I lived a lot in the past (this happened, why did I do that, Oh I looked like an idiot...) or in the future (what if this happiness, what if they don't like me...). The problem with that is I have no control in the past or the future, no power! My place of power is in the present. 

2. I am not a victim, I am not a damsel in distress. I am the warrior, the knight in shining armor of my own story. People may help me, they may give me tools, the may help me, but in the end, I am the one who has the control, the power to slay the dragon so to speak.

3. My thoughts are not always rational or true. I can challenge them. I have control over what I think. (Thought challenging is so good!)

4. I read a book called " My stroke of insight" bill Jill Bolte Taylor . I learned that if my brain is a garden and my thoughts are flowers or weeds, I can be the gardener of my brain. I can choose which thoughts I want to buy into or not, which thoughts I challenge... I also learned that the initial physical reaction to an emotion lasts only 90 seconds (panic attack aside which lasts about 20 minutes if I remember correctly?) and that if the reaction lasts longer inside my body it is because I am maintaining it with my thoughts. So if I can not buy into a thought, I can not buy into and maintain a physical reaction to that thought! I think although panic last longer, that it applies to panic too. Once an attack occurs I can choose to maintain it or to ride it out.

5. I have learned to let go when it is time to let go, ride the wave of panic and just let go. As Eckhart Tolle says in "The power of Now": "If you resist, it persists". So I have learned to just accept my reality as it is and just let go and ride it out when necessary.

6. I have learned to fight when it is time to fight. I have learned to stand up for myself. I have learned to be persistent and fight to get better. I have learned that even if I fall I can get back up and win!

7.  I have learned that fear only has as much power over me as I give it. I have learned it is ok to be scared. I have learned that panic only has as much power over me as I give it. Having a panic attack feels bad but it is not dangerous. It isn't. And if I have one it is just a bad moment in my day and I will ride it out and conquer it.

8. I have learned how to be moderately scared of something and do it anyway. I have learned to break down the stuff that really scare me and conquer them that way (exposure work really helps!).

Those are just a few of the many lessons I have learned along the way. Getting better is a journey. A journey of discovery and learning. I am stronger now despite everything. And I will get stronger still. And if I can do it, anyone can.

You have your own journey to discover. You have your own realizations to make. Follow the program, ask for help but mostly be kind and patient with yourself. 
Sarah, Health Educator
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jdm,
 
You mentioned in your post that you are tired of thinking negative thoughts. We often encourage members here to challenge those negative thoughts when they occur. Have you thought about this at all?
 
Below are ten questions you may find helpful in challenging your anxious thoughts:

The following ten questions will help you to challenge any anxious thoughts. When you have an anxious thought, answer some of these 10 questions:

1. Is it "true"?
2. How do I know it’s true?
3. Is it 100% true? (remember something that is 75% or 99% true is  
    not 100% true)
4. What's the evidence for it being true?
5. What’s the evidence against it being true?
6. Has it ever happened before?
7. What's different now?
8. If it were true, how bad would it really be?
9. What's the worst thing that could happen?
10. If the worst thing happened, how bad would it really be?

Members, what other advice can you offer to jdm about the next steps to take. What has your experience been?
 
 
Sarah, Health Educator
jdm
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10 years ago 0 jdm 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
hello.
 
 
 
I just dont want to feel like im dying every freakin day im starting to hate myself for having this symptoms its pissing the hell out of me. Everyday i wake up the mind goes crazy im thinkin that , damn here again another day what the hells gonna happen to me.! its always like that i cant get a break. My mind so tired of thinking this negative thoughts i cant seem to think positive and then thers my breathing im always concious about my breathing its ruining my life. What the hell am i going to do im fed up....

Sarah, Health Educator
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jdm,
 
It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now. As Diva mentioned, the program here can help you challenge your negative or anxious thoughts and help you cope with the panic attacks that you experience.
 
Members, it sounds like jdm could really use some advice on relaxation strategies and challenging your negative thoughts. Please share your experiences!
 
 
Sarah, Health Educator
jdm
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10 years ago 0 jdm 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hi diva,
 
 Im on my second week on this program i hope it gets better thank you for your support. I hope someday i wont be scared like you when im getting a panic attack because its really hard for me to handle this situation rite now.
I guess i just have to learn changing  my ways of thinking cuz i cant seem to focused on anything. Im always thinking about this 24/7 i cant get a break im always tense and i cant seem to relax. How did you overcome this monster can you give some technique of how you overcome your fear please and thank you....

Diva2
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10 years ago 0 Diva2 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hello Jdm,

Well my first suggestion is work the program here. It is great. It has helped me so much! When I had a relapse I had panic all the time and I worried like you do about the next attack and what ifs non-stop. The program here changed my life. I honestly cannot even remember when my last serious attack was, I have no clue! I think for me, one of the great lessons this program taught me is to take back the power I had given the panic attacks. I learned  not to be so afraid. I learned that even if I do have an attack it is no big deal. I do not anticipate anymore. I seriously, honestly have no idea when my last attack was because I don'T think it matters. My life is so much better now. The exposure work and the thought challenging tools are so great. Take advantage of them! hang in there, it does get better!
jdm
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10 years ago 0 jdm 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hi breanne,
 
In my situation i think the anxiety doesnt desapear cuz no matter what i do or drink med its always there.
Its really fraustrating cuz when you wanna do something or go somewhere its really hard to enjoy what im doing
because im thinking of whats going to happen to me because i have this habit about my breathing im always concious about it all the time. Im really confused all the time like if i make a dicision whether i want to stay home or go out i always tell myself what if i panic and stop breathing if i go out...So i think that for me anxiety never  goes away..What i should i do please help cuz this thing is taken over my life...plz and thank you

Breanne- Bilingual Health Educator
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Members, what do you think...does the anxiety eventually disappear, or is it always there to some degree?
Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
Jen
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10 years ago 0 Jen 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Thanks for the great feed back. Although I do continue to take the bus, most days it it  manageable I have tried to reduce the panic feelings to just being unpleasant. I have not been able to do that quiet yet with the flying. I can go months in between flights and the next time it seems I have to start over again. I hate that it is work for me, wish I could enjoy it like most people. I have done the muscle clench and release techniques and it definitely helps. I just hate that I have to do it at all. Wonder some days if I have a screw loose that other folks don't go through the same thing. I am pretty good at masking it , may look calm on the outside but am screaming in my head. Does that make me weird ?? Is there hope that the anxiety  will acutally disappear or will I always have it to some degree??
I know there must be a gentic predisposition to anxiety as my sisters and one brother have experienced panic attacks but not to the same degree as me.
I understand the panic circle quite well and the over active nervous system, fight or flight response. It feel at times that to confront an clausterphobic situation like taking an elevator, goes against my better judgement. I like to think I have pretty good instincts but when the fear kicks in , I have a difficult time believing that all is well.
Thanks for letting me ramble on.
 
Ashley -> Health Educator
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Your anxiety is very common.  I know the time you are describing before the plane clears, I think is very anxiety provoking, even for people who normally don't have trouble with anxiety. 
I'm glad to here that you still fly despite of your anxiety.  Avoidance is the worst thing when you are trying to overcome.  You seem to have a lot of great coping skills.  Muscle relaxation may help as well.  Tense and relax all the muscles in your body.  It is more difficult to feel anxious when your body feels relaxed.  Also, keep in mind anxiety attacks usually do not last longer then 20 minutes.  Remind your self that the feeling is temporary and it WILL pass. 
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator

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