Now a year later I've seen two psychologists (one a specialist in anxiety and panic), a naturopath, used Chinese medicine and acupuncture, have had both a CT scan and MRI on the brain and been to many, many doctors appointments. I have not taken any medications as I fear them and as I have tried to remedy this naturally. While I no longer seek out medical attention when having an attack, I do continue to fear and worry about death regularly. I am worried about dying in all kinds of ways including a car accident, having a heart attack, having an aneurism and so on but mostly I am on constant watch of any physical symptom, immediately relating it to some life threatening cause for me to die. If I'm not worried about dying then I am worried about life on earth without me around. While I know I have made significant progress over the year and I have improved dramatically I still continue to fret about dying. Nine times out of ten the negative thoughts about death will not lead to a panic attack or even feeling panicky but I feel like this is so unhealthy to think about death this much because before that night a year ago I thought about these things rarely and I felt happy and content in life. Now I just feel worried and scared.
