Hi all.
I've mentioned My brother who I don't get along with. This is a 50/50 thing based on disagreements.
We see things differently even though we have the same parents.
I was sitting on the deck in front of the house enjoying the sun and listening to a train go by on the other side of the river. There are a lot of grain trains going by right now as they empty the elevators. It is a seasonal thing.
Anyway I was thinking that I and my brother would get different things from this. He does train spotting so he likes diesels and takes pictures of them. I on the other hand like steamers. He sees a diesel he might want a picture of and is very disappointed if he misses it. I on the other hand dig into my associated memory and using information stored there imagine what it was like to haul grain in the Steam era days. Grain loaded into box cars and unloaded by hand. Cars rocking side to side on the imperfect tracks, the clack of the rails in a time before smooth welded tracks. I can see the inside of the cab and smell heat, sweat and lubricating oil mixed with the smell of sulphur from the coal. I can hear the moan of the whistle at a crossing so much different from a diesel. My brother on the other hand still sees a diesel. Steamers are mostly black, I don't really know what colour diesels are.
If we were standing together as a train went by, if you asked me what it looked like I could probably tell you about the back ground but not the train. He on the other hand could tell you every detail.
People see and remember things differently. This my friends is why triggers are so personal and why those that don't get attacks can not understand what the problem is and why something can be a trigger for us.
One person may see a hole in the ground as just a hole, I see it as a number of possibilities. Not just memory of a situation that turned holes into triggers but also associated things that are triggers also when I go to that part of memory.
So I need to add another association. This time I need pleasant memories and associated memories I can access with the same trigger that causes the panic so I can let the panic happen with out the attack. I will in time only or mostly trigger pleasant memories instead of the scary ones and if I do trigger the scary ones I will have pleasant ones to counter them.
Imagination is digging through your memory for things to put together from memory and associated memory (things that are similar, sometimes barely) Good imagination is when you try things that are not associated. Unfortunately if you can do this you can trigger panic with things that shouldn't trigger them. Thank God we have CBT to counter this.
Just babbling here, but CBT does work even if you have to have your own exercises because someone else's doesn't work for you. The basics are still the same. Changing negative thoughts to positive how ever you do it.
Davit.
For those interested in alone verses lonely, imagination is a good way to be alone and not lonely. Observation is another. Critical is not! Worry is not! Look, see and enjoy.
