I've mentioned often what I was taught to do in the case of Agoraphobia. Basically it is to take back control of the situation. And it does work with one caveat. You have to want to do it. Really want to do it. If you don't you have two choices, you can lie to yourself or change the situation so you don't have to do it.
I have one of those situations. Actually I have had a number of them and the answer was always to change the situation. Most were related to work. All of them worked. So now I have a choice again, I can continue to lie to myself or I can change the situation. I'm going to change the situation since the way it is is hopeless and I don't want to do it anymore.
So all you people who I have told to take back control, if you are in the same boat as I am you may have to make the same sort of decision I have to make. Some things just are not meant to be. Move on and be happy.
I'll probably spend more time in my shop because that is one place I am happy. I could be suffering the winter blues too. Looking forward to gardening. Looking forward to sitting on the deck in the spring.
One thing I am not is depressed. I am very optimistic since it is not the first time I have had to make this kind of decision. How I combat the thought of loss is by accepting that genetically I am more prone to anxiety which has increased with life's ups and downs. Is this avoidance or reality, who knows. What ever it is I feel it is necessary. Life is too short to not do what I really want to do.
Thank God I can financially do what I want if not always physically. Sometimes I think getting old sucks.
Davit.